I'm gonna be a freakin' grandmother!!!
So many dirty words wanting to spill out!!!!
I've been silently grumbling to myself because DH is going to give SD a gift for her "graduation" tonight. Kudos to him...he asked me if it was ok with me first. Combine that with MIL contacting us, which always just irritates me, and I thought this was my cross to bear this week.
If only.
DH just called... seems SD called him. (I thought for sure she was gonna bitch him out about not going tonight.)
If only.
SD19 is pregnant.
The facts as we know them:
BM moved SD's boyfriend IN with them a few months back.
DH stopped paying for SD's birth control about 4 months ago.
DH also stopped insuring SD at that time, because he left his job for our move.
Did BM insure her? F*ck no. Sent her to DSHS, so now she's on Medicaid. (BM, unlike some, has a very good job with great union benefits. Has for the last 8 years.) Do you think BM would pay a penny for her own daughter? Nope. Do you think SD, who does work FT, would pay for her own insurance? Nope. Get it free from the gubmint. Sigh.
SD is apparently 8 weeks along, and SOOOO HAPPY to be a pregnant, unwed teen. Yay. Do the math... that means she got knocked up inside of a MONTH after DH stopped paying for her BC.
I am not surprised that SD is preggers. She was f*cking adult men in her mother's house at 14...and GOT CAUGHT. The only surprising part is that she went of BC as soon as daddy stopped paying it.
The part that reallllly surprises me is that BM moved the boy in so that SD and he could play house...and make babies.
Two teens with minimum wage jobs. No, they're not getting married. That way, SD can get all sorts of gubmint aid.
The pisser for me in this? My ILs knew and kept it a secret...even after texting me the other day AND talking to DH last night. WTF? I swear, I would never f'n speak to my parents again if they kept a secret like that from me.
Just to put this out there, both DH and I were teen parents. He married BM as a result of the unplanned pregnancy, and I did not marry my baby daddy. (Thank God. Sometimes making a mistake on a mistake is just stupid.)
So, now it's time to shower SD with MORE attention. The ILs will contribute money, the pressure will be on DH to do the same, and BM gets to keep on being "friend" instead of "parent" to SD.
Unbelievable. Just crazy shit. I told DH years ago when SD got caught messing around that this day would come. He got SO angry with me. Well, DH, "I TOLD YOU SO."
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that sucks. She is 19- she
that sucks. She is 19- she has a live in BF and a baby on the way- Legally adult and having kids of her own so she should be out on her own. IMO.
Yes - But did you say it out
Yes - But did you say it out loud to him? I sure as hell would.
Say what out loud? "I told
Say what out loud? "I told you so?" Yeah, sorta... in a round about way. He's feeling really down...he's a failure as a father, he should have been a better dad, he should have done x, y, z for her... guilty dad coming out.
The parts that really piss me off are BM moving the boy in and the fact that AS SOON as DH stopped insuring SD and paying for her BC, she just couldn't be bothered.
Well...let's look at the
Well...let's look at the positives as she is 19 and not much you can do about it.
She is an adult and you are not legally responsible for her.
Prego at 19 is better than prego at 14.
(No subject)
:jawdrop:
Welcome to the club.
Welcome to the club.
If only I didn't have the
If only I didn't have the start of crazy all star cheer season... I'd be there!!
I like mine on the rocks!!
Seriously, I'm all stressed out over this, so I've had peanut butter cookies and cheese/crackers for lunch! WTF! Yes, I'm a stress-eater.
This is just going to be a nightmare. As if the step/BM/IL drama wasn't enough already.
I'm a stress eater too, I
I'm a stress eater too, I feel your pain. I've already put on about 20lbs since dealing with SD14 and her crap.
I feel for you. I'm so sorry that happened. I can see it totally happening with my SD too. She's already had one pregnancy scare at age 13, so I'm sure there will be more in the near future.
You have my sympathies. Now, since SD14 will be spending this weekend with us cramped in our tiny, 1 bedroom apartment, I must seek out and destroy some cake!
Pregnancy scare at 13?? Holy
Pregnancy scare at 13?? Holy sh**!
13?!? My best friend's SD was
:jawdrop:
13?!?
My best friend's SD was pregnant at 13... she had a stillborn.
It was unbelievable.
What midwestern metroplois???
What midwestern metroplois??? I am I am in that area of the country.
Please do not be a fool like
Please do not be a fool like me and babysit this child. I did that and got very emotionally involved with her and now I am in a mess. My husband would never have kept that child as a baby. He doesn't usually like to fool with kids until they are at least walking. If I had just left the babysitting to him I would not have gotten so involved when she was just a tiny, pretty baby. Watch yourself in this. I have had nothing but trouble. My husband even goes so far as to volunteer me to babysit without asking, because he knows I love my step-granddaughter and will do it.
Hell. No. Fortunately, we
Hell.
No.
Fortunately, we JUST moved out of state... like a few months ago.
I asked DH if he was planning on moving back. He seemed surprised by my question, and said "no" since we're here, settled, my kids are settled in, and he just found a job.
Let's hope that feeling lasts when he parents start the inevitable guilt trip.
His parents were SOOO overinvolved with DH and BM when they were young. (Actually, it never really stopped, which is why when I came along and put a stop to it, they decided they didn't like me. ;P) I just KNOW they wil expect DH to be like they were.
Oh, annnnd DH wants me to
Oh, annnnd DH wants me to keep this a secret for now, until he can process all of it.
Thank goodness for StepTalk!
I totally agree with you!
I totally agree with you!
"F8ck off." Just kidding. I
"F8ck off."
Just kidding.
I think I'll go with, "that bitch married to grandpa."
hee, hee... time to crack open a bottle of vino.
Naw. Vodka.
Oh, AND BM is just super
Oh, AND BM is just super excited to be a grandma!!
WTF? If my teen tells me their knocked up, the last thing I'm gonna think is "yay, me!"
Did I mention I'm only 37?
I'm gonna be a 37 year old grandma.
OMG thats a nightmare!! I am
OMG thats a nightmare!! I am 37 too and I would die if SD16 got preggos!! I see it happening soon and no one wants to listen to me!!
I am convinced that BM wants SD to get pregnant and they can live together and collect their welfare and food stamps together. One big party!!
She has no idea what she is in for!! Who is going to watch this baby while she is out with her friends?
Who knows... The best
Who knows...
The best part?
We got to pay $20 freaking thousand dollars for this stupid certificate/college thing!! If she had only waiting a damn freakin year, it would have been paid for by the gubmint!
I shudder to think if my SD
I shudder to think if my SD gets pregnant in her teens, even at 18 I will only be 35 (DH is 9 years my senior). UGH
That sucks! I know how you
That sucks! I know how you feel, my AD19 just delivered her baby late last night. I was NOT ready to be a grandma and AD definitely isn't ready to be a mom, but baby is here now.
Here's hoping your SD will make better choices once she has to deal with the consequences of this one.
But my question is will SHE
But my question is will SHE have to deal with the consequences or will mom, dad, her grandparents and the whole family deal with the consequeces instead and she is still not made to take care of herself and her baby!!
I was grandma at 40, by my
I was grandma at 40, by my BS, now I'm 48 have 3 grandbabies. But they are my bio-grandbabies. I do have step-grands but never get to see them much.
What just kills me about these guilty dads is that they wait on these kids hand and foot till they are grown, never give them any responsibility of doing anything for themselves, I mean not even making their bed, makine a sandwich or anything to teach them to take care of themselves then when they get 18 just send them out in the real world and expect them to just start taking care of themselves. I don't get it.
Great advice, SAF: "I did not
Great advice, SAF: "I did not marry my baby daddy. (Thank God. Sometimes making a mistake on a mistake is just stupid.)"
@ RedWings: You gained 20 lbs over this step-shit?? You're doing good...I've gained over 50 pounds and a BAD liver!
SAF should be called Bitchma.
SAF should be called Bitchma. It's meant to be a term of endearment, really.