snowdrop's Blog

It's been a year since I left DH

Hey Ya'll

I always appreciated it when stepmoms who left their DH's came back to write about it. So here goes...

I left DH one year ago. Initially I intended to stay with my friend for a couple weeks. But a couple weeks turned into eight weeks. After eight weeks, I needed a place of my own so I got an apartment.

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home from our trip.

DH and I just got home from our trip to Thailand. I wanted to go there forever and we finally went. DH was horrendous on the trip. Our first night there, he wanted to have sex. I was exhausted after 24 hours of travel and didn't want to. He got all p*ssy and wanted me to leave the room so that he could m*sturb*te. I didn't want to leave the room, I was laying on the bed relaxing. He started doing it right next to me! I asked him to stop, because it made me uncomfortable. He became so nasty to me.

DH said, "I think about hurting you, and doing awful things to you"

He didn't mean it in a "50 Shades of Grey" way either. He meant it in a "I hate you" kind of way. He was telling me how upset he's been with me and how angry he is... Apparently he's been really f-ing mad at me lately. I knew things were strained between us and that he has been distant and abraissive at times. But, that was a total dager to the stomach to hear him say that. He wouldn't say in much detail what he thinks about. But he said that he thinks about it a lot, even when we're not fighting and that he thinks horrible things. WTF... that's like seriously disturbing stuff.

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BM nightmare

I just had a nightmare that bm was trying to get visitation with my dog!!!
what an awful dream, I'm still shaken by it! we're in court with her currently re CS. I guess i'm more worried about it than I thought, given that i'm dreaming that she's trying to get my furbaby. it's bad enough to have to send skids there, let alone him!

Best songs?

Are there any empowering songs (or angry songs) that you think of relating to BM or skids?

Laugh time! What's the funniest thing that your skids have said about BM?

Tonight at dinner we were talking about my ss's upcoming trip with his friend to the friend's family's beach house. A few months ago he went camping with the friend. I commented, "lucky kid, his mom has a beach house, his dad has a nice camper." (the friend's parents are divorced). My middle skid pipes in and said, sarcastically, "my mom has an APARTMENT." Then my youngest SD said, "yeah and it's really mess and it smells."

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A letter to my Dad

Dear Dad,

Happy Father's day.

I always felt like a burden to you. I felt like you resented me, truth is, I'm sure you did. At best, I felt like a distant relative.

I always needed you, even now I still need you. I wish you had been there for me.

I wish I wasn't feeling so sad and hollow today. I wish I could celebrate you. I wish you made me feel more loved and special growing up.

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