Skids want fun time while Dd is in the hospital
Last week I noticed DD was breathing funny and took her to the ER. Turns out she has GBS and needs to be in the hospital for at least 10 days for antibiotics. It's been stressful and initially SO wasn't going to take paternity leave because it's unpaid but to help me out he took 4 days of paternity. I didn't want to feel like DD is "hogging" his time so I told him that after skids come home from school he could spend time with them and come back to the hospital to help me overnight. He said he agreed but then also said he wanted to see if he could take the boys out on the weekend. I told him I didn't agree because if we were home they wouldn't go out without us and he said this is a one time thing seeing as hopefully DD won't be regularly hospitalized.
After thinking about it though I just don't like the idea of them going out to have "fun" while DD is in the hospital. I recognize that I have made this about my feelings because obviously DD is newborn and doesn't know what's going on. Part of it also is that I know SS10 asked him to take them out and while I get that he's just a kid, he needs to be taught that life isn't all about what he wants. I don't mind them spending time with each other, watching a movie at home or something but not a all out date.
I would never ask SO to go out on a fun date if one of his boys was in the hospital. I also don't want to operate out of spite so I should communicate with SO that I'm not cool with them going out.
Thoughts?
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I'd be livid. DH would have
I'd be livid. DH would have some serious issues.
Hope your DD is okay.
Sueu2, You're right that this
Sueu2,
You're right that this is about the way I feel, but SS10 is not an only child, SS15 also lives with us. And I'm not sure where you got some of your claims like "you want DD being sick to mean more to SO than what it does", I think I mentioned that I was the one who encouraged SO to spend some of the time he took off for skids. I also don't think it's a matter of being right or wrong about how I feel but rather what can be done to help us all blend better. I just felt that like someone mentioned, this can be used as an opportunity to teach the boys empathy and caring for other people, namely their sister. Trust me, there are a lot of things in life I prefer to do than be a responsible stepparent but I do the right thing because it's what the circumstances call for. I just want the kids to be taught to think that way as well. It annoys me that they can be so selfish and I hate being the one to always point those things out to SO. Their mom is a POS, but that's not on me or DD. SO shouldn't have to feel like he has to make up for that every time.
Why is he taking 4 days off?
Why is he taking 4 days off? Is it to help you due to the fact that you all have a newborn that is hospitalized or the have a good time with his son?
Thx forever stacy.
Thx forever stacy. Unfortunately no, my family lives close by but they don't volunteer to watch skids because of their behavior. SS15 usually just babysits SS10 when we aren't home.
Have your DH bring jim to the
Have your DH bring jim to the hospital to see his sister, even if it through a window. Have some lunch together in the cafeteria then they can go off and see a movie.
SS learns what is going on with his sister, you get some time with DH and then they go off to do something and perhaps have a great talk and love and support.