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Day three

Smellissa's picture

Well, I made Hubby leave the day before yesterday. I am at home with the SDs and Hubby is sleeping with my mom.

Hubby has been here tonight and last night. He comes in, eats with me and the girls, and takes a shower before heading to my mom's.

My mom feels like I am treating him like a child, because I have set up rules. My rules are pretty simple, though.

1) He isn't allowed alone with the girls. He can be here with me and the girls, or take them somewhere public, but until they tell me that they feel safe, he just shouldn't try to make them be alone with him.

2) He has to get therapy. Anger management, and personal therapy, I hope. He wants me to go into intake with him, and I think I will. I want to encourage him and keep up with it.

3) He doesn't live here, and he won't until both girls feel safe.

He hasn't gone a single day in the last month without yelling at them, until the last two. Suddenly, he is telling them that he loves them and misses them. He is texting them and calling them.

I also found out that he has been going to my mom's and downgrading me to them for the last month. I am so hurt that no one told me about it, told him to talk to me about it, or told him to stop talking. Instead, they encouraged him and let it go. Sad It doesn't matter, though.

Hubby is also trying to bring my family into every conversation. "Your step-dad thinks that you are crazy for kicking me out." "Your cousin is going to jail, the police are looking for her, because she turned my kids against me." and "Your mom says..." it just keeps going on. I keep telling him, "I'm not concerned with anyone else. I am worried about the four people who live in this house." rinse and repeat.

I don't care what anyone else says. The fact of the matter is that Hubby got abusive with the SDs. It WAS ABUSE.

With SD15, it's harder to explain.. He was constantly yelling at her, and always downgrading her. He threatened to "beat her ass" for being between him and the door. He spent a long time breaking her down, and always choosing SD12 as his favorite.

With SD12, it was physical. My mom says that SD12 deserved a punishment (and she did) but when you throw someone, pull them around by their hair, etc, it's NOT punishment. It's abuse.

Anyways, that's where we are today. The girls and I are sleeping together in the living room (again). However, since their dad is coming over and not being a jerk to them, they aren't afraid to leave the door unlocked today.

We are together in the living room, for me, because I just want them near. I think for them, it's because it's fun! LOL

Comments

GoodBye's picture

Oh my goodness...poor things! I'm praying for you. In the meantime, try to enjoy your slumber party Smile

BethAnne's picture

Good on you for doing the right thing and protecting the kids. I just read your bio to see where the BM is, but I presume she has been out of the picture for a while from what you have written. Hopefully your husband will see what he has turned into and get the help he needs to control his temper. I'm sorry that your family are being caught up in your husbands web of lies against you, that must be tough to deal with. Keep going, you are doing a great job. Try to surround yourself with friends and family that support you.