this trainwreck doesn't need a baby
Have you ever come to a realization that just hits you like a train? That was me today. I am so not having a good week so far and I look like a train wreck. I fell down some icey steps and got all banged up and then this AM got the bright idea to give my cat a bath (i do about once a year). And of course we have the sKids this week.
Any way BF and I have been going around and round about everything lately - mainly marriage and kids. He jokes about getting engaged and I finally had to tell him knock it off. He came home last night and asked me what color gold I liked. I told him but voiced my concerns about him not taking this seriously and needed to grow up.
I had the baby bug a month ago and I asked him if we could try and then I woke up to what a bad idea that was. Well now BF has the baby bug. Last night I made him fold all of the boys clothes and told him he had to because i DON'T have any kids and he was like, you could. I would do that for you in a heart beat. I told him that I couldn't raise a baby and HIM. But he does other things to, getting 'careless' about things. thank god for the morning after pill - I have several on hand in case, he gets too careless.
This morning after giving the cat a bath, I was holding her (the cat) in a towel so she would stay warm while she dried a little and of course she was completely freaked out, I was trying to calm her. SS4 was getting ready for the bus to come and i told him to go potty, he goes in there and stands there waiting for help - which he CAN do it himself. I stood there holding the cat and thinking to myself, OMG this is my future? After snapping at him a few times SS4 - pouted- and then got to work then stood there waiting for me to pull his pants up. Again I snapped and he finally did it. I know it was just a cat but I clearly had my hands full and SS4 had not interest in make things easier for me. Selfish brat that he is. to top it off the cat scratched my face and I was bleeding - oh yeah such a train wreck. I bet the bus driver thought I was nuts.
And this is why I don't need a baby right now!
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Comments
I have to say, you're a
I have to say, you're a braver soul than I am, I never give my cats baths. I live in a dry climate though and they never have fleas or skin problems. I do bathe my dog several times a month though, thank god they don't have sharp claws like cats, lol.
So this marriage business... are you staunchly in the "never getting married, ever" camp? Or are you just never getting married, ever, to your BF? I'd say that if he's hanging around believing that you guys are going to eventually marry, it would be in both you guys' best interests to clarify where you stand on this. Because if he's hell-bent on getting married to you, and you're certain that's never going to happen, that's a recipe for tension and possibly resentment on his behalf. He's gotta understand that you've made a choice and he can stay or leave based upon that, but that he can't keep bugging you about marriage in hopes of changing your mind. That's just going to frustrate both of you.
And the baby issue... Do you feel your BF would be a reliable, stable partner and parent with you? Or do you guys have a history of confict, break up/make up cycles, arguments, resentments, etc.? Because a baby would only exacerbate those issues, you know. Children can put tension on even the best relationships. So it sounds to me like you probably don't need that right now.
I don't think you sound like a trainwreck though. Just your average SM. lol.
I am open to marriage but BF
I am open to marriage but BF it a jokester and like to 'pretend' pop the question. It was cute at first but now it's annoying. I don't HAVE to get married to be happy, but I could see me marrying BF and being relatively happy. though I do vent a lot he does make me happy most of the time, he is a great guy, a little immature at times. But I think my expectations for a husband are different from what his ex-wife's were. I want a partner not a punching bag.
I am not sure if I want to change my name. It
As for the baby thing I am OK with not having kids of my own. I didn't want any until I met BF, the step-kids are a handful but I keep thinking what would MY kid(s) be like? More like me or just like BF? Our Parenting styles are different, I am a real hard @ss. He is more laid back. I get on him about being the push over and I know if we had a little girl she would have him wrapped around her finger. I just think there is more for us to talk about there, it's not just something you say ok let's have a baby. Plus I want him to be more aggressive with our kid and not so passive. When he was with BM, he let her do everything and and make all the choices for the kids. I do want in put from him
Ugh - once again putting way too much thought into this - but Kids and Marriage are serious business.
Oh man honey it sounds like
Oh man honey it sounds like you had a pretty crappy morning. At least the cat is clean, right?
I can't believe you did that all by yourself--that's at least a two-man job at our house.
I am kind of in the same boat on the topic of kids. It's SO much on top of everything else, but then there are other days where I think--hell, I wouldn't be the first stressed-out parent. I don't know. I don't have answers, but I feel your pain. I'm sorry. It sucks.