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Persephone's Blog

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas!

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Well this year improved: SS addressed a Christmas card to both of us thanking us for helping him year round. He gave DH and I both thoughtful gifts that didn't break his bank, which is good-- he has champagne taste with a water budget. My 3 bios each gave us a card along with thoughtful gifts. The girls wrote very thoughtful and thankful words in DH's card--thanking him for brightening their lives and helping throughout the year.

Three Things You Are Grateful For:

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VENT!!!!!

SS dropped a college course because the assignment was to do a paper on three things in his life for which he is grateful. He thought it was a very difficult paper and he doesn't have time for that... He has other glasses to worry about, like gym and art.

The ingrate couldn't even come up with three things!! Even though the three things could have been as simple as He is ALIVE, He eats every day and doesn't live in a homeless shelter!!

He can read and write;

He has never suffered a personal and debilitating tragedy;

I Love My Mother In law!!

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Bless his heart, last night my BIL invited me to have lunch today with him, my MIL and ...SS. I love BIL & MIL, it's the ungracious SS I could do with out.. and have.. he hasn't stopped by to see his dad or me in over a month. (Ever since we told him he is not moving in here and had better not quit his job.) I Know BIL knows about the sitch because he and DH are very close. I also think that BIL is trying to be a peacekeeper. DH is out of town. Anyway, I accept and thank him for being so thoughtful, looking forward... see you tomorrow.

A perspective from DHs

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This past Friday DH & I went to dinner with our long-time friends who also are “blending.” Our SKIDS are the same age/gender. We have been with our DHs for about the same time. Our problems parallel. Invariably we get into a conversation of the trial and tribulations of blending.

My friend’s situation is far worse than my own—she lives in the shadow of a ghost—BM died young 13 years ago --a result of addictions. As many of you know I am BM-SM with a semi-active BM; however strong her presence.

I Don't Blog Often... but TONIGHT???

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Okay so BM calls hysterically crying... can the kids come over here for a couple of days... DH says.. of course (no problemo here.) BM
drops the kids off... they march up to their room no communicado. DH whoo was resting because of oral surgery today and on pain meds... puts his shoes on and I haven't seen him since... Grandma and Grandpa are fine they were here today... she is married.. why she needs my husband in a time of crisis is beyond mee so here I wait.. Oh I could call his cell phone to find out where and why he is not here.. but no I won't... I will let him tell me.

BM is Getting Married Today.

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In a very positive way, I discussed with the skids the upcoming marriage of BM. I said BF seems like a very nice guy (He is. although, this is his 3rd marriage; 2nd broke up over step kid issues(hmmmm)) Imagine my SURPRISE when the skids said ehhhh he is okay, we really do not feel close to him. Why the surprise?? This guy, according to the skids, has walked on water for the past year... and I am thinking he has been around for 1 yr. I have been around for 6 and on more than one occasion have picked up the slack for their mother. (I don't do that anymore...

Should I let this one go? (long)

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Quick background: DH is the primary caregiver inspite of their 50/50 arrangement. BM attends sporting events and thats that. No appointments, religious instruction (even though she is a member of the church and lives .5 mile), no parent conferences, she never even taught SD how to put on a standard bra besides a cammie. BM is a perfect case study for PAS. She also has had at least 5 live in boyfriends in the past 6 years (no kidding). SD will cling to DH, hang all over him with I love you daddy stuff, gets super jealous when my kids hug him or shoot hoops kinda thing.

Do you know what I am sick of????

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I am sick of ‘precious' that’s what DH and I call SD-15, telling the other 3 that she is sick of hearing all about their life. The other 3 talk about dance, gymnastics, friends, theatre group you name it… Darfur and other world events. She does not talk and is in therapy for this, yet every time the other kids that are comfortable with talking she tries to shut them down. She will Huff and Puff and say dooo weee really need to hear about this??? She is a downer in our family and I an am sick and tired of her trying to take us all down with her!!!

My Current Fantasy

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I really hope that bio-mom is lurking on this site. Maybe she will see herself and think what a nut case, then take a closer look and see herself and see that she reeps what she has sown. And then takes action to improve herself.

The happy ending of course is that she can start to heal so that dh's and mine family can move on and try to raise 5 well adjusted kids and offer them an example of what is a healthy relationship.