Well, this is my first time blogging, so bear with me if I seem to ramble.

I have been a step-mother for almost 4 years now. I have a unique situation. I have been more of a 'real' mother to my step-children than their biological mother.

My husband's ex-wife left him and their 2 children for another man when the youngest one was 6 months old. Not knowing what to do, my husband went to live with his parents with his 2 children until he could figure out his next move.

He took on over 3 jobs, one of which including the Army, leaving his parents to really do most of the parenting for the children. When I came in to the picture, the children were almost 2 & 3. I instantly fell in love with the children.

Since coming in to the kids' lives, my husband and I have had the kids full-time (for almost 4 years). The mother has had small visits with the kids. They only saw her about 5 days last year. She has chosen to live with a man that the kids are terrified of. They admitted he had physically abused them. We were able to get a restraining order on him. AND after all of this, the mother is getting ENGAGED to this man!! She doesn't think that what her boyfriend did was wrong. Because of this and the mother's alcohol use/disgusting social behavior, he was given full physical custody and their mother only gets 18 days a year to see the kids.

This leaves me being the full-time mother. They call their mother by her first name and call me 'mom'. I have potty-trained these kids. I helped them learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. I am my step-son's cub scout leader. I have tutored these kids, helping them be amazing students. I went from being in college and having no real responsibilities, to being an instant full-time mom.

Now, I have a 10 month old daughter with my husband and we are expecting another baby in September. It has been hard. With my daughter, I was so excited about having my first baby. But, I was looked down upon by my family for saying she was my 'first' child. I was shamed into not being excited about my own baby!!!

With this pregnancy, all I hear from our family is, "How are you going to deal with 4 kids?" "Ya'll are crazy!" I feel cheated sometimes. This is only my second pregnancy - something that is normal and common, but I have to walk around acting like it's my 4th. It's not fair. I wish their mother was a decent human being and could help raise her own kids. It's like doing someone else's homework and THEY get to take the credit for the good grade.

Their mother loves to say she is a mom, she expects the kids to call her on Mother's Day, and she feels like nothing is wrong with her relationship with them. Above all, she is rude and disrespectful to me. She talks about me to my husband like I'm some monster. She claims that I'm trying to 'steal' her kids. WTF?! Please! Help raise your kids!!! Any time I've tried to give her advice on how to be a better mom to the kids, she just thinks I'm insulting her.

I have grown tired of all of this. There are days where I just want to worry about my own children. I sometimes feel like I'm neglecting my baby and my unborn baby by having to constantly take care of someone else's kids. They have to go to therapy every week for the child abuse they suffered when they were with their mother. The youngest one has severe ADHD that no one wants to do anything about. Everyone pities them to the point that they are SPOILED BRATS! No one wants to upset them, so they never get told 'no' by anyone, but me. And when I say 'no' and when I discipline, I'M instantly the bad guy.

I don't know what to do. Do I keep chugging along, going through the motions? Or do I get out now, while I still have my sanity and my own kids have not been harmed?