Focusing on ME

It saps all my energy when I focus on sd11. There are so many what if's it is overwhelming. So I've decided I need to focus on ME for awhile.

Today I went back to the gym. I have gained 20 pounds since dh and I married last July, and those 20 pounds are making me pretty miserable. They take away a lot of my confidence and make me less able to respond appropriately to BM (who I am told, by the way, makes a habit of flirting with other women's men just to get a reaction.)

I took a couple of hours and made myself some healthy lunches so I will avoid fast food.

And I did three loads of laundry and made a pineapple upside down cake for my sweet hunny per his request.

I am being positive today. sd11 comes this weekend. By then I might be ready for her.

katielee's blog
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I understand how you feel. I

I understand how you feel. I have three kids of my own and SS13. I spend SO much of my time worried about him, speaking to his teachers, making sure he showers, making sure his homework gets done - it drives me nuts. I have other things I'd much rather be doing.

The conclusion that I've come to is that if I just let this child be and/or do as he has always done, then the havoc he creates in my household is even worse. For example, i could deal with him spending the evenings doing his loud, obnoxious stuff, riling up my boys, making messes and annoying me. Or I can banish him to his room until he finishes his homework, remind his dad to check it all and then remind his dad that he hasn't showered in two days and he should probably have a talk with him. I can ask him to bring his clothes down, show his dad how filthy his clothes are since he wears them over and over, wash them and then send them back up to SS's room so she can fold them. Then I can let DH know that SS still hasn't cleaned his room since he promised to do it the night before.

I've stepped back a bit and instead of telling SS what to do, I now tell DH what SS needs and allow him to do it.

My kids usually have their homework done prior to coming home from school. My kids clean there rooms before bed. My kids shower at night when I tell them to hop in the shower. My kids know the routine and they do it - with a smile. SS13 is FINALLY learning that these things need to be done and they WILL get done. Slowly but surely, but man, it's been a long year.

Go for it girl, it cant hurt!

Good for you! I've gained 20

Good for you! I've gained 20 since I became involved with SO. I think I need a daily reminder to focus more on myself and less on the trials of step life. Its hard when you have skids who believe people's lives should revolve around them. I've been going to the gym. Now I need to work on my diet. Balance is important.