And so mean. 

I'm basking just off Karma island in the warm waters of Taste of Your Own Medicine bay. 
 

To recap recent events: OSS ghosting DH, doing pot, and currently two states away with friend from here meeting up with a stranger they met online. And I said YSS has turned into a decent human already at just under 18. 

So, today DH informs me that YSS confessed that he tried pot a week ago. Why did he confess? Because BM found his pot and called YSS this morning while he was here. First thing I was wondering is if she found the right stash (DSs comment was "if she thinks that's bad wait until she finds OSSs"--based on what OSS has said to DS.)

Okay so it's a tiny amount and supposedly he tried for the first time last week. DH not freaking out. 

Then later we both talk to YSS about week on/week off now that his job is over and HS is all online. And we say that we'd work out a car for him since he may need to drive out to school on weeks here. He gets an embarrassed smile and confessed that he has a car. And folks, this is a second car. Remember the one we know about is up on blocks. 

When did he get a second car? SIX months ago with BM. They've kept that fact hidden and YSS didn't mention it the whole week he was with DH camping. 

DH is upset they keep thinking of him as the bad guy and for a secret team together against him. They treat him like an outsider or just ignore him. Anything he says about the kids that's possibly negative is met with defense and "not my babies" by BM. And so on. 

...sound familiar?...

I could not help myself. I started smiling. DH said he knew why I was smiling. That it's all just too much. I said no, that's not it. And I told him that he is completely unable to empathize and put himself in my shoes so I have to wait for the exact same thing to happen to him to be able to point out why it's bad or hurtful, and that for years he has done the same "not my babies" crap to me, unable to look realistically at his own children, and he's sided with his little pookikins when they were clearly in the wrong and even gotten mad at me for stating the facts. And now he knows how it feels. I told him I had to wait eight years but karma finally happened. And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. 

P.S. I did say the above kindly and it was part of a supportive conversation with DH, so it wasn't a fight. It may be a lot of bad realizations for DH all at once but it's probably best because it was too much to excuse-away.