Round three...
Dh called me at work and left a message. The only reason I called him back was because he told me the dr's office called to set up my tests for next week. So as soon as gives me that info he says " do uhave anything else to say?". I was like no- as hello, I
At work I have things to do I can't get in ian argument with you. But no he barrels ahead and starts telling me again how ds should be punished. He told me it didn't matter that he didn't punish ss for acts of physical aggression in the past- now it's time to start punishing for it since my son did it. He also told me that he didn't punish ss for alot of that as he didnt see it- I reminded him that he didn't see this inciden either. Evidently that is also irrelevant to the discussion. I asked him why ss apologized to ds and he had no clue. Jus kept saying my ds slapped ss in the face completely unprovoked. I don't even know if he bothered to speak to the actual children involved. I brought up again how he let's things slide and doesn't punish ss for anything- and again that is irrelevant. He wants to know what kind is message it sends to ss that ds can slap him with no consequences. I asked what message I sends to ds that ss has been physically aggressive with him on a number of occasions in the past and never got punished, but now that he does it he gets grounded. This was evidently me talking " crazy". Finally he said, well I see I'm getting nowhere so I'll let you go.
I am just so tired. Literally. This bleeding ulcer has been sapping me of all my strength and to have to desk with this bs is just ridiculous. Oh and top of all this he has once again been spying on me here. He's such a stupid man- I've told hm if he'd only talk to me I'd tell hm exactly how I'm feelng- no need o go to the trouble of snatching my phone and spying On me.
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I would have to separate the
I would have to separate the discipline then, He takes care of ss as he sees fit and you will take care of the others as you see fit.
I would tell him that if he
I would tell him that if he stepped up and parented his son for being aggressive to your son in the past that maybe your son wouldn't have taken action into his own hands.
If you are being harassed by a neighbor and the cops do nothing eventually you are going to reach a breaking point and take the law into your own hands.
OMG I totally understand why
OMG I totally understand why do they punish their step kids and favor their own kids. Why cant it be equal? my BD (twin Girls) are always getting yelled at and treated like the black sheep and his are angels NOT TRUE!
I have a legit question: why
I have a legit question: why is it DH's have no issue parenting our kids, but have major issues parenting theirs? It seems to me that my kids respect my DH as if he is a parent in my household because I have never allowed them to disrespect him, but yet SD can walk all over me...and it seems that way in many of our houses.
This is exactly what I said when at counseling to my DH, I know your capable of effectively parenting children because you do it very well when it comes to mine, so why is it you cant parent your own?
I think in my case dh doesn't
I think in my case dh doesn't think he can effectively parent ss. Thinks he's a lost cause. Why discipline someone when it has absolutely no effect on them? My kids do respond to discipline and dh knows it- so he feels free to utilize it. Parenting ss makes him( and everyone who's ever tried) feel like a failure.
I hate to say it...but I
I hate to say it...but I would not raise my child around your DH. I know you love him and all...but that is crazy and it is hurting your kids. Edit tao add....I am pretty sure your son is also DH's son.
Well this makes like 3 bad
Well this makes like 3 bad days in a row. Part of which has floored me- we've been doing this blended family thing 11 years now- and I really felt we had reached a point in which we did not argue about the kids and were on the same page. This is stuff that we went through early on. He does not discipline my kids often as there is typically no reason to discipline them. Seriously. There worst offenses are messy rooms, an attempted avoidance of chores, and some occasional mouthiness ( as in once every couple of months).
I think he is really jumping on this chance for some other kid in the house to get in trouble other than ss.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SEE my
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SEE my DH too, there is not much to discipline when it comes to my kids and when there is, Im usually on it before he gets a chance. It is usually a reprimand, because the offenses are minor at best.
He pushes everyone's buttons
He pushes everyone's buttons including mine. I've never hit anyone in my entire life, much less a child, but I do fantasize about punching him in the mouth. My dh tries to limit interaction with him when hes upset as he is afraid he will be tempted to put his hands on him. IF we, as adults, feel this way I can only imagine the kids must as well. Again, not trying to justify my ds "slapping" anyone, but I think my dh made this out to be way worse than it was. Since he didnt even see it I imagine that was easy to do and the amazing thing is that it appears to me that both of them were messing with one another, they both apologized after it occurred without anyone telling them they had to, and they resolved it on their own and are ok with one another. My dh would have never known if his friend hadnt stuck his nose into it.
I did talk to dh again and I told him that it really was a great thing that they had a confrontation which they managed to resolve all on their own. This is progress. Not a reason for us to argue. I am sorry that anybody slapped anybody, but I definitely feel like there is lots of mutual horseplay, scuffling with these two boys all the time and truthfully I've not had a reason to be concerned about this as of yet-and trust me I am pretty hypervisilant (my concern is more the daily verbal aggression that spews from ss as I get sick of that shit).
However, this seemed to settle him down and he is now acting unconcerned. I asked him what he suggested we do to resolve this and he said, "Nothing."