How to handle this situation with SD6?
Ok, so the other day SD6 was here with us and she wanted to spend her mom's birthday with her, so DH was going to drop her off at her mother's house. SD came to me and asked me what should she wear, and I told her that I was going to help her find her clothes and was walking with her to her room when she said that she wanted to wear X dress, I said no, that dress is dirty and then she said "But I like that dress". I consider that talking back, so I just told her go ahead and look for something yourself, and came back to my room. Later on, she came back wearing the same dress I had said no to and even asking about why did it smell the way it did.
Fast fwd, more drama surrounding that dress, that caused DH and I to have a big fight, blah blah ....
She said bye to me, left to her mother's house. Days later (today) she is dropped off at our house by BM and BM talks to DH and lets him know that SD said that I called her (or whispered to her) "You are an asshole"...
I was shocked... :jawdrop: I mean, seriously? when? how? WTF?
She insisted (and still does) that I called her "asshole" while her dad was outside and she has this story. Of course she tells the story hyperventilating and crying.
DH believes me, and is not happy with her, but he is her father and won't stop having the responsibility/love for his daughter, whereas I feel betrayed, disappointed and a lot of resentment because of all the drama, and everything I do for her.
This little girl is respectful towards me and loves me (or so I thought) and I would have never thought that she would say such thing.
A long time ago, when she was 4, and DH and I were newlyweds, she did lie about me hurting her, and I felt really hurt then, but right now, I cannot explain, I really just don't want her around me, let alone be left alone with her. I don't want her to talk to me and I don't want to talk to her, as who knows what else she would say about me?
I really hate being a stepparent right now, you never hear a child making this things up about their own parent.
I honestly was mad at her that day, especially because she caused DH and I to fight, but if I had something to say to her it would be that she is in trouble or I am not happy with her, or something along those lines, I would never call her an asshole... :S
How should we handle this situation? I hate having DH and BM talking about something I "May or may have not done" like debating about me.
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I never saw it like,
I never saw it like, retaliation, but who knows. and yes, her dad, SD and myself all talked about it, she said it on my face that I said that to her, crying. Her dad asked her if she is lying and she keeps saying "NO" and then he said, SO, GIa is lying? and she said "no".... :?
She has this "story" which has some inconsistencies, but basically, she claims that she was in the living room with my BS2 and I went out of my room to tell her that, and then I (guess??) I came back to my room, just like that.
What should be a punishment for that? I mean, If I don't talk to her and ignore her for a while, would that be childish? Or would I have a point, since I don't want her to create another lie about what I have said to her.
All I can say is that this is a major DOWNFALL in our relationship as SD-stepmom. I am honestly scared of what a 10 year old could say that I said. Or how about a 15 year old?
SD(11) started making up lies
SD(11) started making up lies about me when she was 6. It has only gotten worse. I think sometimes BM actually makes up the stories and has SD go along with them. Sometimes these "lies" are part of a true story but really blown out of proportion. I really can no longer stand being around her and I will not ever be alone with her. DH understands why and he does always believe me of course because most times he's been right there. Even if he hasn't he knows SD and BM are liers.
I hope that this does not
I hope that this does not happen again, and that it is not the beginning of me not being able to stand SD6. If it really gets to the point in which I really cannot stand her, I would honestly try to just find my way out of this marriage because I am not going to live such a stressful life. Sharing a roof with someone i genuinely don't like, and someone who clearly wants to do wrong to me (in the worst case scenario). Hopefully this won't get there, I don't want to lose my husband over the world of lies a little girl creates about me but at the same time, I won't stay in the depressing situation and I would never let my husband not see his child, because that will backfire our marriage anyway. I honestly can only resent her at this point, is like my marriage depends on "her"... WTF?