God Help Me

SD24 has been in Colorado with her son for not even TWO damn weeks and she's already trying to come back. I knew when she was calling DW a few times a day (she normally will only call when she needs something) that she was just laying the groundwork for her to try and come back.

SD24's immaturity is now coming back to bite her. She has about 5 driving while suspended tickets in Oregon, along with a $1000 ticket for weed possession which she never paid. Well all the of the state DMV's are linked, so if you owe money in one state, you can't get a license in another state. When you don't pay your tickets the fines increase, so she now owes over $7500 to the state of Oregon before she can get another license.

She moved to Greeley CO which I guess doesn't have a good public transportation system, so she was expecting her friend she moved in with to drive her from place to place. Well her friend has a job of his own, plus is raising one of his nieces, so he can't be her personal taxicab whenever she feels like it.

I don't even know what to do anymore. DW claims she would only live with us again for 6 weeks. In 2 months SD24 barely saved $1400, so how in the hell is she going to pay off $7500 in just six weeks??? I told DW no, that mentally I just can't do it anymore. Of course DW was begging, crying, and pleading with me that things will be different this time. No man wants to see his wife cry, but I told her that if she moves back in, I will have to get my own place. My stomach is literally in knots at the thought of her moving back in.

For the first time in my life, I am seriously beginning to think our marriage will always revolve around SD24, and I'm starting to question if I want to be a part of it anymore.

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oh no! I knew it! I knew

oh no! I knew it! I knew she would be back and you know why? Because your wife has crippled her. She has not just enabled her to be an asshole, she has crippled her. SD needs CONSEQUENCES! She has never had any, because your wife always runs to her defense. So why should this time be any different. SD uses her son as a pawn, because she knows it works.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the BEST thing for your grandson is to be taken away from that waste of space and placed into a loving STABLE foster home. The BEST thing for your SD is to hit rock bottom and be forced to pull HERSELF up. But I don't ever see your DW ever allowing any of this to happen.

I am sooooo sorry!!! Gosh, I really can't stand your SD!

DaizyDuke you have hit the

DaizyDuke you have hit the nail on the head. Even the day of the flight, my wife was up early and got online to check SD24 into her flight. I made the point that she should wake SD24 up (it was 8am and SD24 hadn't even finished packing) and SHOW her how to check-in for her flight. Well all that did was cause another fight. I was trying to illustrate my point that SD24 can barely wipe her own ass without somebody's help because everyone does everything for her.

I am trying my best to hold

I am trying my best to hold firm, of course after all the crying last night I am getting the silent treatment.

My stomach is literally in knots right now at the thought of her moving back in. To tell you how bad it is with her, I honestly WISH one of the other stepdaughters needed a place to stay just so I can tell SD24 that we don't have room for her. That's honestly how bad it is living with SD24 and her son.

Frustrated - I know my

Frustrated - I know my husband would cave if I cried to him. That would not be the right thing to do and you are a strong man to stand up to this. Your wife doesn't even realize yet that what you are doing is best for your SD and your marriage.

Thank you Patsy. Yes it is

Thank you Patsy. Yes it is extremely hard having her cry because she's so worried about SD24 and I almost caved. I was starting to cave...and I told DW how much I love her, and she says "Well obviously not enough to let SD24" come back.

After she said that, my defenses went back up. I have been through so much bullshit with her daughters (including me staying with her after she was unfaithful) that she has NO right to say that I don't love her enough.

You need to flip this on her.

You need to flip this on her. Each time she says that shrug it off and tell her she doesnt love you enough. After all you have been through with SD she has no right to assume you would welcome her into your home!

Have a list of the reasons

Have a list of the reasons you think it would be a disaster. Then ask her what good would come of it. If there a more goods then maybe it is open for discussion, but I have a feeling that is not the case.

Catmom you are correct.

Catmom you are correct. The emotional blackmail is bad enough, but of course now it's just "I want more stability for the grandkid." He has lived in 3 different places in 6 freaking months.

I was in your shoes! My DH

I was in your shoes! My DH kid was prego and in high school. He was all "I would never allow my kid to be on the streets" and I was like "she moved out and you cant keep letting her move in here, this is my house too!"

thank god my DH listened (only cuz I threatened to leave), sure she was couch surfing for a while with a newborn but it was her choice to leave BM house due to a fight.

lol So far I don't have to

lol
So far I don't have to worry about that since the SD has been telling relatives that I want to stab her baby and pour lemon juice on the wound. She wont ask to move in since she is trying to keep that lie going.

I honestly wish I had a

I honestly wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard "I'm not going to let my grandchild be homeless". I'd probably have enough money to fake my own death and disappear for good.

Oh the tears!!! The endless

Oh the tears!!! The endless promises!!!
"It will be different this time".....that is right up there with "I forgot" and "it's only a cold sore."
6 weeks my left toe....hell, I'll bet my left toe that 6 weeks will come and go and she will STILL be there. I'll even up the ante and say 6 months!

FrstratdSD, stay the course. Do NOT cave to this emotional blackmail. If your DW wants to continue to enable and coddle SD forever, the two of them can be happily co-dependent together. You did NOT sign on to participate in this goat rodeo.

Thanks to all of you for your

Thanks to all of you for your support. I will have to admit, the longer DW goes without speaking to me today, the more I have started to cave in. Thanks for helping me stand strong!

I know spouses don't like

I know spouses don't like having the other mad or upset, but if you cave on this then you pave the way for many other cave ins. If you don't stand your ground you might end up resentful (I know I did). I know it sucks to hash crap out, but in order to keep a marriage healthy and strong I've learned that sharing how I feel about certain situations that will defiantly impact my life is good to do. Do I chicken out sometimes cuz I don't want to deal with a fight, yes. But on major issues I 've learned not to back down. And so be it if I come out looking like an evil bitch. This is my home! I live here! I sure don't want to be miserable in my own home!

"I'm not going to let my

"I'm not going to let my grandchild be homeless"

What I want to know is, why is up to the grandparents to make sure the grandchild is not homeless? Unless orphaned, that's the parents' responsibility.

My parents were young when I was born and I have never lived with my grandparents.

Comments

oh no! I knew it! I knew

DaizyDuke you have hit the

I am trying my best to hold

Frustrated - I know my

Thank you Patsy. Yes it is

You need to flip this on her.

Have a list of the reasons

Catmom you are correct.

I was in your shoes! My DH

lol So far I don't have to

I honestly wish I had a

Oh the tears!!! The endless

Thanks to all of you for your

I know spouses don't like

"I'm not going to let my

I have no idea. Majority of

Exactly! This generation is

I dream of when my kids are

Gonna echo rainbowbright

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God Help Me

Comments