O/T Snoring Spouse
I'm sure some of you have this problem.
I'm at the end of my rope with DH. He is a very heavy sleeper and snores so loud you can hear him from downstairs. I asked him to go to a sleep clinic and he told they said he was fine (I do not believe this for a second). I am a light sleeper.
My short work day is 11 hours long. My long day is 15. He is not working right now, naps a big chunk of the afternoon away and can still sleep through the night.
The last few months he has mostly slept on the couch. While this is giving me a better rest, now it's like there is this weird distance between us. I almost feel like we are more roommates than spouses. I think we may have had sex twice this year. He says he's stressed and his sex drive is the first thing that goes on him. He will be returning to work or school in the next few weeks and I think having a purpose will help.
We don't have a guest room (only sd16's room and a small office that has no room for a bed). I feel guilty about him sleeping on the couch so much but when he comes to bed, he insists on putting the tv on which really pisses me off since he's asleep in 2 minutes, and then the snoring starts. It takes me a good 20-30 minutes to get back to sleep after he wakes me.
I have tried ear plugs and I can still hear him clearly. I usually end up downstairs on the couch shortly after he comes to bed. If he wakes for a moment in the morning before I leave for work he always asks why I left the bed. Today in my sleep deprived state, snapped 'why the fuck do you think I did?'. He simply shrugged, turned over and was snoring again before i left the room. He won't ever remember talking to me by the time I get home tonight.
Sorry this rant is a bit all over the place. This is just how my brain is operating right now.
Anyone else dealing with this? How did you solve it? I'm seriously afraid this is going to be the death blow to our marriage between this and sd16.
I'm exhausted and unreasonably resentful of how well and how long he can sleep.
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He should have a sleep study.
He should have a sleep study. He probably needs a c pap. This would also probably help with the sex drive as well as the noise. My ex H used one and so does my BF. A couple of weeks ago BF forgot the cord to his cpap and decided to for go the 35 minute drive back to his place and just slept without it. He does snore a lot, that wasn't such a big deal BUT the quality of sleep for him was awful and he felt shitty most of the next day.
My DH snores, his dog snores
My DH snores, his dog snores and my puppy snores. We all sleep in that same room. HOWEVER, I don't work so I can take naps during the day.(Not trying to rub it in) I usually punch him in the ribs to roll over. Lately I kind of want to just put a pillow over his face and not let up though.
There is a product here
There is a product here called Silence which is quite pricey but the only thing we have found works. Otherwise the man has to sleep in another room.
I dealt with this with both
I dealt with this with both my exH and DH. My first husband was really bad and sounds a lot like your DH. He had a sleep study and ended up with a CPAP machine. It was loud and almost as bad as the snoring. This was 12 years ago and machines are quieter now. The bigger issue was he looked at it as my problem that I couldn't sleep when he was snoring. We had a lot of other problems but I know he still uses the machine as his apnea was so bad it really was a health issue. DH also snores but not every night. He also had a study and is trying a machine-he is on day 5 but it is bothering his nose. The machine is quiet and it completely stops his snoring. It is cumbersome but he wanted to do something about his snoring. He also has tried the nose strips and they also helped but not every time. I would say they helped him about 60-70% of the time. I don't think he will continue the machine due to the irritation and the fact that other things help. Does your DH smoke or drink? Both can make snoring worse especially drinking before bed. Also being overweight or sleeping on your back. Having an elevated pillow helps some people.
I know exactly how you feel. It is really hard to deal with sleep deprivation. I actually take a Benadryl at bedtime to make me drowsy so I can fall asleep faster. It helps.
He went to a sleep clinic and
He went to a sleep clinic and he told me they said he was fine. I don't believe him. I also went to a sleep clinic and was diagnosed with a mild form of sleep apnea. I tried using the CPAP, but I felt clausterphobic in the mask.
He does smoke, drink and has gain some weight since not working. (But he snored just as loud before as well).
I wouldn't believe him
I wouldn't believe him either. He sounds like he has all the features that contribute to snoring and making it worse. The machine my exH used was very nasty. It cover his whole face and was loud. The version they gave DH is just on the nose. He says it's not bad other than the one part of his nose that is sore. He may need a different size.
Does he sleep on his back? One suggestion I was told was to tie a ball onto a string and wear it on his back. Then he couldn't sleep on his back. A little weird but easy to do. I looked online and found some other similar ideas. Maybe try that. You never know what might help.
And he snores whether he's on
And he snores whether he's on his side or back, although it's a bit better when he sleeps on his right side. (not facing me)
My SO and one of our dogs
My SO and one of our dogs snore. I put an oscillating fan in the room. It drowns him out enough that I can sleep.
Ripley-we are having luck
Ripley-we are having luck with the strips as well. I think they work for people who aren't as severe. I estimate it works about 60-70% and less than a machine. After insurance DH is paying $20ish a month for the CPAP and the strips are $9.99 so about half the price.
It's great that it makes you feel better. DH says he doesn't notice a difference with either.
My ExH was a big time snorer;
My ExH was a big time snorer; wasn't overweight at all but didn't exercise at all and drank A LOT. Snoring was horrible after a night of him drinking and pot smoking. He had apnea as well. And refused to do anything about it. I'd be up half the night (I was not going to vacate the bed for him) with earplugs. And of course it was all my fault.
My current DP hardly ever snores. If he has more than 2 beers he might, or if his allergies act up/or has a cold, but it's still not very loud. This makes me very happy.