How do you live contently when your step-daughters bm just up and left with no word for 4 years. I am tired of being "ok" with it. i am tired of cleaning up the mess and dealing with thhe crap. Why does the husband expect me to just deal with it? be the grown up. We have one child together and another on the way and he expects me to love his child the way I love my Biochildren. Ridiculous.