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Sweet 16...Would You Invite The "Ex Family"

CrystalRE's picture

My daughter is having her sweet 16 in a little over a month. I am planning a party for her and wondering if I should invite the ex and his family. We don't have a fabulous relationship but not the worst either. My plan if I do invite everyone is to invite the ex and his family, his new wife and her family plus all of my husbands family and mine.

Opinions please?

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Depends on how well you think you all get along. I say go for it, it all partys concerned get along good. If not, then no, I would not do it.

neversecondplace's picture

I agree with the other poster in that it depends on how well everyone gets along. We did invite BM and her new husband to a dinner party after my SS20s gradutation and it was OK--just OK!!

CrystalRE's picture

We get along so-so. We got along great until he got remarried but his new wife is an interesting lady and believes that all contact about our daughter should go though her not my ex so that has caused a few issues.

Im torn because this is a really big deal to my daughter but Im just not sure how to handle it.

CrystalRE's picture

I'm not sure what I'm worried about. I am planning a dinner in a large banquet room so I don't foresee any arguments or anything taking place. Especially because I get along well with DH's family. I guess I'm worried that my exes new wife will cause drama about it with his family. She is one of those people that are great in person, to your face but cause a lot of drama behind the scenes.

LostInTheMess's picture

She is obviously insecure and that it why she wants to be the go between.

What does your daughter want?

If she wants a joint event and everyone can be grown up for the day then I say GO FOR IT. It will only serve to strengthen your bond with your daughter if she sees you put forth effort. What BD and SM do is on them.

bscs1214's picture

We were played on this issue, my DH ex would call me to tell me that I'm so much better then her planning parties could I take care of it.. I did.. Oh and don't worry we'll split everything. She didn't and to top it off later found out that she and my MIL were planning another party for SD that we were not invited to. But of course they all were there. The exwife's husband had no clue that this was going on he was told that it was what we wanted . :jawdrop: For the most part we get along but once I found out about the lies and using folks I learned my lesson. Anytime she is invited so that both her parents are there she just sits there never offers to help. Good luck But in my heart if you all get along try it hopefully she will not want to embarress herself

simifan's picture

i wouldn't. Would you really enjoy the party - not to mention it often gives a child - yes even a 16 year old - false hope because mom & dad talk now that their getting back together.

Not to mention your poor DH. Are you prepared to be partying with BM next?

herewegoagain's picture

Is your ex paying for ANY of it? Has he contributed in ANY way? If not, you do not have to invite him. If he has, you must invite him.