Those posts made me shudder....look at us, best friends (should have stayed married).

I'm glad for those that can, but for others, boundaries and not hate are important.  Nothing wrong with a different stance (seperate lives) either.  Does not mean those 'friends for life' have less ego....ffs.

I think this can work when you are dealing with people who truly are mature enough to let go of their anger and resentment and move on.

On this site we tend to see a lot of disordered exes who have mental health issues that make it less likely to work together.

that I actually had the MOST in common with ex husband #1.  Ex-husband #2 was a DISASTER however diametrically opposite to ex husband #1.  Chef embodies the negative aspects of BOTH.  Not sure HOW that is possible since ex1 and ex2 were WORLDS apart!

All three never had a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.  I sure can pick 'em!  LOL

It always seems weird to me. Don't these people have any family of their own? Why do they need to go to the ex-husband's mother's house for Thanksgiving every year? I also notice there is no mention of ex-husband's new wife/GF and how she feels about BM carving the turkey. 

I always have to wonder, when the kids are still young and co-parenting is happening, how it is that these parents can spend ALL this time together but not figure out how to make a relationship work.

I mean, yes. There are folks who loved each other but were mutually no longer in love but were still friends. I think that dynamic exists, and when it does, these situations can happen. But that would mean the marriage was pretty mediocre and level - no real ups or downs for the couple to hold resentment on. Since they are friends, and that bond is hard to break, they can do these sorts of things.

But most people don't marry a friend. They marry someone they lusted after or had puppy love for. It was passion that fizzled. Or they were dating "long enough" for marriage to be the next logical step. They never really moved past casually dating, so no reason to stay friends after. These folks have amicable divorces where they can just co-parent because there was nothing of substance. Sure, they could share a holiday, but no reason to.

Then you have the misfits. These are the marriages that started because of accidental pregnancies, where one person was WAY more into it than the other, or a spouse was disordered in some way. These are the folks you find on STalk. These are the folks who should probably not be within 500 feet of each other, let alone a shared holiday. 

So, it's totally possible for this to be a thing that a small number of people can do. For me, I can't. Tried, but never again.

This isn't possible when you have a crazy person in the equation, lol!  My ODS's family still considers me family (I was never married to ODS's dad).  However, I met him and his family when I was 16 and we were together for 10-11 years.  His mother loved me and still does.  She also loves my new husband and realizes that my new DH is more of a father to my ODS than her son is.  My DH and I have gone to cookouts with my exe's family when invited because they still wanted to see ODS and my ex wasn't there.  My ODS's dad is a recovering addict and spent several years incarcerated so his family stayed close with me so they could see ODS.  The sad thing is that even though ODS's dad has made some really bad life choices and struggles to overcome addiction he is still easier to get along with than DH's ex and more mature about things.  

There are always those exceptions and if it works for them and everything is amicable....why not.

I was always close to my x in-laws.  My MIL and FIL understood why I divorced their son and continued to treat me with love and respect.   I didn’t invade their holidays but I would have been welcome at anytime.   I used to take my MIL out to lunch every Sunday after church and sat by my FILs bedside just days before he passed, at his request. 

That all changed one day after a nasty exchange with my XH.   Now both my x in-laws are gone and he is alone.   He will die alone because he is a hateful vile person.    But for a number of years, my BS was raised in a family that may have been no longer legally related but related by love and respect.   I wish my SSs could have had the same experience. 

BM2 is starting to grow on me. Better yet-I think she’s starting to grow up. She offered to come pick SD up once a few months ago (SO insists on bringing her home-usually because I pick her up after yoga because she’s literally right around the corner) and she hung out for a while we finished making a “contraption” we were 3 hours into when she arrived (it’s a STEM set-you make your own Rube Goldberg machines and the kind KNOW I can’t refuse). My house was trashed, I was supposed to be cleaning and cooking but-like I said sucked me in. She was at MIL’s celebration of life yesterday and she sat next to me with SD. SO just so happened to land on the other side of SD and they talked for a while. My parents and aunt were there along with SS and DD. My step dad commented on how “normal” it all seemed and he said he was proud. I mean- we’re getting there.

BM1 I don’t hate either. I hate what she’s done to her kid-but I also know I love him and I know he wants for not. If she could get her shit together and grow up-that would be cool too. But I don’t see that happening before he graduates high school.

So I’m all gag-er-ific over here, BM2 did tag herself in my engagement photos, but I’m lucky and we are making progress. Will we be having TG together anytime soon? Probs not. But we’re civil and it’s nice.

I’m also very secure in my relationship with SO and he does take up for me if need be, and I know that can be a struggle for a lot of people.

I love Kristina Kuzmic! 

With my exH and his wife, yes, We can do things like this and have been for years. Much of his family is still on my social media and they reach out to me about the kids and send well wishes for holiday's and all of our birthdays. I do the same for them. We really have very few issues.

When I was talking to my kids SM for at my daughter's birthday (we were both a little tipsy) but I said something along the lines of, even though it didn't work our for my ex and my marriage, I am so glad that our lives have turned out like they have. We are both in happy marriages. All of our kids know love and support for their parents and step parents. We are just all right where we are supposed to be and I am so grateful to her and him for being there and being supportive in this co-parenting craziness. She got all teary so then we had to start picking on my ex (her husband) LOL, but it was nice to be able to tell her how much I appreciate them both. 

NOT THAT I WOULD EVER WANT TO GO BACK TO HIM! Not even close!!! But I am thankful that I picked a good dad for my kids and I am grateful that he picked a good wife.

BM on the other hand, will tout that she wants us all to be one big family but you guys know all of that drama, so it's a joke. She is just a bitter and mentally ill person.