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Conferences and invitation to The Belly Show

bi's picture

This probably shouldn't piss me off, but it does irk me, I can't lie.

DS6's parent teacher conferences were yesterday. First of all, I told FDH when we had about 25 mins left before we had to go. I told him because most often, if we are going somewhere, he thinks he needs to change his clothes and he brushes his teeth. We are almost always late to everything because he fucks around until way past the last minute, THEN he wants to change and brush his teeth. So annoying. So this time I gave him plenty of warning. He got a little attitude when I reminded him again that in 5 mins we needed to leave. He asked me why I'm telling him now and not in 5 mins. I told him because he always wants to change clothes and brush his teeth. He said he's not changing just for P/T conferences. WTF??? You have to change for a bday party, for going to the grocery store, and everything else, but P/T conferences are unimportant and it's acceptable to wear rags to those? Nice.

So we get there and the teachers were commenting on DS1 and said that when they ask DS6 what is siblings names are, he answers them that his brother is W and his sister is H.(DS6 is HFASD, so getting him to interact is a big deal). Well FDH was right there, so to avoid him getting all butt hurt that SD wasn't mentioned, I told them DS has 2 sisters but he never sees his other one, and they asked for her name and wrote it down. (DS has an aide, a speech therapist and an OT so they like to have things to initiate conversations with him). Well it wasn't enough that I clarified that he has 2 sisters, not one. FDH pipes up about how he has a nephew too, and his name is BJ.

Why this irritates me is because first of all, DS doesn't even realize that SD is his sister. He sees her a handful of times a year and that's it. He never says her name, never asks about her, nothing. If he never sees her, obviously he never sees her kid. He doesn't know BJ is related to him. He sees him 1-3 times a year, that's it. So even if they asked him about his nephew, he's not gonna know wth "nephew" means. He might recognize BJ's name, but he isn't gonna have much to say. He sees DS1 every day. He used to see DD19 every day and talks to her on the phone about once a week now. He KNOWS DD and DS1. He has things to say about them, he has memories of them and things to talk about. SD and her kid, no. Yes they are related to him. But they aren't really a part of his life, so I really don't know why FDH felt the need to pipe up about the kid when I already clarified that DS has another sister and I even told them he never sees her so he doesn't really realize she is his sister.(So they would know why he never mentions her).

Sorry FDH, but this isn't about SD or BJ. I wonder if he would be so quick to speak up about them if he knew just how much SD likes to blame on him?

Oh GOODY GOODY GOODY! I got my baby shower invitation today! I've been eagerly awaiting the invitation to go and worship the Golden Belly! :sick:

It doesn't say that it's a baby shower. It says I'm cordially invited to the Royal celebration of Miss (baby's name). Maybe not calling it a shower makes it acceptable that she's standing there with her hands out for gifts for the 2nd baby in 2 years AGAIN? I'm sure I won't have a sitter that day and one of the kids will probably be sick anyway. }:)

Comments

Ljcapp1's picture

Wow you mean she sent a paper invite?? I love it, a baby shower that she's throwing for herself for a second child.

bi's picture

This time it was a real invitation. She must have found someone to host it for her, because the address is not hers. I wonder who it is and how she got them to do it....

bi's picture

Yup. I am serious that it said "The Royal Celebration". Who the fuck does she think she is, anyway?

bi's picture

I think she would like to reign over FDH's life, but she's learning (unhappily so) that that isn't the way it's ever gonna be.

bi's picture

I love you, Mairin! Yes, it is me that takes care of everything. I usually go to these things alone, but he's in Kgarten now and it's his first year in this school and with this teacher, and I made the damn appt for 12:15, so he really had no excuse to not go. He has no idea how to take care of anything with the school, dr, dentist or anything else.

I completely ignored him when he got going about SD and BJ. The teachers didn't say much, either. I wonder if he feels like he's dishonoring her to not mention her and her kid? I don't know. It was just stupid and unnecessary. I'm sorry I even mentioned her at all, even though I only did it for him. Give an inch, they take a mile...

DaizyDuke's picture

why in the wide world of sports is your SD who already has a DAUGHTER, that she just had in the past 2 years, having ANOTHER baby shower? That is beyond tacky. What a freak.

And I hate this brother and sister crap and steps, who our bios don't even know or like. I got BS4 one of those memory books, for grades PreK-12.. you know where you write stuff and put pictures and school art and such? So I'm doing the PreK portion and on one of the pages it says "My brothers and sisters are" Well damnit, I don't want to put ANYTHING on that line... BS4 probably wouldn't know SS15 if he fell over him since he hasn't seem him in almost a year. And while SD16 lives with us, it's not like BS4 is close at all with her. He could care less about her. But God forbid I don't write their stupid names on that stupid line, and DH saw it, he would for sure have a cow. So dumb and annoying AF!

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

We have the skids EOWE, EO Holiday/Vacation. We do refer to them as BS3s brother and sister. He calls them Bubba and Sissy. But the skids are are really great with him and geniunly love them. I think it helps that BM has a kid from her first marriage and he is their brother. She couldn't say our BS wasn't their brother without invalidating her first kid.

bi's picture

I am the same way. It's not my job to foster a relationship between my kids and someone else's kids. It's my job to nurture the relationships they have with each other. If FDH wants the boys to have a relationship with SD and her kids, HE can do something about it. DD has 2 half brothers from her sperm donor. Ex doesnt' even have anything to do with her, or them, yet felt the need to tell her about them when she was about 7. Then she had a million questions for ME to answer. I ripped him a new ass. Told him that he is not going to tell her things that upset her, leave her confused and asking me questions like "why does he love those kids and not me?" (he doesn't love any of them, but since he mentioned them, she assumed he cared) and then walk away and leave ME cleaning up his fucking mess! I told him that my daughter does not have any siblings (this was before I met FDH) and the only way she ever would is if I had more kids. That pissed him off. I don't care. You have nothing to do with any of them, therefore they will not know each other. So STFU. If you ask her now, at 19, how many brothers and sisters she has, she will tell you 2 brothers, not 4 brothers. How can she count 2 kids that she met once as family?

Ljcapp1's picture

LOL Daizy I watched Blazing Saddles last night!!

Her SD is a narcissist freak - there's the answer to your question btw.

bi's picture

Because we missed BJ's bday party, she will probably be texting and messaging me like a stalker about going. I'm just going to tell her my kids dictate my schedule, so I won't know til probably the day before. I just won't have a sitter and at least one of them will be sick. Oh, I'm going to a friend's baby shower this Sunday and I went to one for another friend last month. Oh well. THey aren't narcissistic greedy bitches. They are both around SD's age, too. Just a little older.