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Must Read Stepparenting Article

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

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PestyBrattyMama's picture

Thank you for sharing this. I sent it to DH, too. He's pretty receptive to these kinds of articles. One think I don't like about Huffpost - you can't add a message to what you email to people!

not.the.crazy.one's picture

I read the article and a lot of the comments. She is spot on.

Some people in the comments were saying the article isn't fair, that step-fathers have it just as bad.

Well, I feel like my DH disengaged from my bios from the get go. I never expected him to take a father role with them, or to love them simply because they are mine. Granted they are older (14 and nearly 17), and while they like him ok they wouldn't be hurt if we divorced. He doesn't do anything with them, or really pay all that much attention to them directly.

I also feel that way more is expected of me than of BM's boyfriend who she's been with longer than DH and I have been together. He is never expected to watch them, to take them to school, or any of that stuff. While it seems automatically expected of me to be a 'mother' figure to them.

whatwasithinkin's picture

I think it depends on the Stepfather, actually in that case it depends on what the Mother of the bio's will tolerate from their own kids in regard to their spouse. I dont feel StepFathers have the same plight. I know in my house, if my two bio's even think about treating my husband like his daughter treats me, all hell breaks lose. I know it wasnt that long ago my daughter got really nasty with my husband and my husband was like, it's fine no big deal. My answer, NOT fine and huge deal. An she paid for it dearly. Thats the difference. I will NOT ALLOW the disrespect.

Again, and Ill say it again and again. MY issues with MY SD are because of MY husband, and noone else.

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

"These women are surprised and more than relieved when I say, "Well, why would you? They aren't your children. If I took you to the nearest mall and pointed out a group of kids and told you that you needed to love them, you would think I was the crazy one. It's quite normal that you don't love your stepchildren. Just because you fell in love with their father doesn't mean you will automatically love his children."
My oldest SS10 I do care about him but not like my own 3 bios and with SS5 I do not know him he is like the kid at the mall to me.