Court?
SD is 11...since she is so close to 12, would it be worth it to go court now or wait until she is 12 and chooses? I'm worried that she will feel obligated to stay with her mother (mainly because BM is RUHLESS and will do anything--guilt trip, bribery, lying, etc to make sure she doens't live with us). I even suggested to my DH that we do 50/50 but he knows she wont' go for it since that would greatly reduce (or even remove) her CS.
Thoughts?
- antidrama's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
What does your attorney
What does your attorney think?
I guess I should have
I guess I should have specified--sorry about that! When I married my husband he and BM did not have an CO. They were never married to each other. She was a "one night mistake" as he calls it. We have spoken to an attorney once but nothing ever came to fruition. Currently no attorneys are involved.
SHe has gotten out of control lately because she realizes that her daughter sees through all of her bull and has blantantly stated she wants to live with us.
I think the goal is to get
I think the goal is to get the details on formaly on paper rather than taking away custody.
Uggg it's all so complicated!
You need to get something
You need to get something formalized. Go for 50/50 for now. Also, if she wants to live with you get her to state it to a Lawyer. That holds a lot of weight with judges here (unfortunate for us). We have been told at 12 they start to weigh what the kids want. Either way, you need something official. 50/50 for us was no CS.
Good luck
I am assuming that you
I am assuming that you believe at age 12 SD can choose to live with either dad or mom. I am unaware of any state that lets a minor choose who they will live with. At most I believe the judge can choose to listen to what the child has to say about where they live but if the parents can not agree on where the child lives the decision is in the Judge's hands.
There really is no majic that happens in Family Law court when the child turns 12.
IMHO.
Good luck.
Best regards.
And the real answer.... It
And the real answer....
It depends on the state. And the laws change constantly.
One example. Georgia. Several years ago a child could make an election at age 14. Barring some finding of unfitness on the part of the parent, the judge had no choice but to allow the election. That laws has changed. Now, while a 14 year olds wishes are given a lot of weight, they aren't controlling. The judge has the final say.
That's just one example of many! And that may have changed since I last checked. The only reason I know that is because my office handled a case where the kids had moved to Georgia and we were researching jurisdictional issues.
Custody changes are very complex. You need a really good, very experienced family law attorney in your jurisdiction. He can explain the state laws, court procedures, the way specific judges tend to rule, etc... And he should give you an honest assessment of your chances.
You are correct. There is so
You are correct. There is so much risk when you walk into a courtroom. That's why attorneys do everything they can to keep cases from getting to that point. You have zero control once you walk into court.
I feel your pain. My ss7 has
I feel your pain. My ss7 has said he wants to live with us but his mom will not allow it. My husband was never married to this woman and my SS was the result of a 3 month relationship with faulty birth control pills supposedly. There are no court orders concering any of this, not even a child support order, my husband just pays her every month voluntarily. SS7 actually cries and begs his mother to live with us and she tells him that when he is 12 he can decide. We live 13 hours apart and SS gets to stay with us during the summer, spring break, and holiday break. We do not pay her child support during the summer months. We buy all of his school clothes, supplies, shoes, etc and send them back to her house with him. We buy all of the airline tickets for SS to come visit us. It is obvious that she does not want to lose the child support she gets from us because it is more than she is entitled to anyway. We have even went as far as to offering to keep SS and her not pay us anything just so he will be happy. It's all about the money with this woman. Our stories sound similar, we should chat!