I don't know what to do
Hi
Well here is my story. We are getting married in three weeks and his children hate me and i have bent over back words for them. His ex is a very anger person she has brain washed them that im a bad person. We went camping and things were going good then the two younger boys decided to burn my dogs hair and every time i would make a meal the youngest would say things like your putting posion in our food . I have two grown childern of my own and i have never been treated so badly . Last night was the kicker the ex had court papers served to go to court three days before our wedding i could pull my hair out Help!!!!! by the way he has three boys and i have a boy and girl and a wonderful grandson.
- mhutchins02@yahoo.com's blog
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Comments
How old
How old are the children? Sounds like mom is a bit bitter when it comes to father moving on.. Actually if she would sit and listen to herself she would see that she is doing more harm to them then she is good. I say have your husband sit down and talk to them? I think it should start there and then I think you should all sit down and talk.
I am so sorry you have to go thru this. It is very sad when you try so hard.. But maybe thats just it you are trying to hard. maybe totally back off with them and see if they come to you..
Whatever you do DO NOT LET THEM RUIN WHAT YOU HAVE. Kids have a way sometimes of doing that.. But do not let that happen..
Have your husband also talk to there mother..
You and your husband needs
You and your husband needs to sit his kids down and tell them the rules of your household & what consequenses are if they break them. See if they follow. This way you don't look the bad guy, husband needs to be the one to talk.
-happy mom
Take it one moment at a time!
This womans' goal is to ruin your wedding day, and worst your marriage. You have to remember that these are kids, and their mother is using them...my therapist tells me I should feel sorry for my ss for what his mother is putting him through. Easier said than done, when they treat you so badly.
You don't have very long before your wedding, you need to be able to enjoy the moment you and your bf exchange vows:) Try to not focus on the negativity that these kids are giving you, and try to refocus on what a wonderful event that is going to transpire in just a few short weeks.
I know she is adding a lot of stress towards your life, but let it be like water on a ducks back. After the wedding, these kids are going to continue being hateful, bitter and resentful. You aren't going to be able to change that. Work with their father as best as you possibly can, it isn't always easy...
Don't worry about courtdates, fights, or anything else. Just focus on being the most beautiful bride your husband to be deserves!
I like your letter Paranoid.
I like your letter to biomoms but I would change a couple of things...I think that the person who gets hurt the most in the crossfire between adults is the child...not the biomom. Children will spend their entire lives trying to live up to their parent's expectations...whether they are worthy or not. One other thing, I don't think that it is realistic to love a step child as your own. They love may be just as strong but it is different. Just my thoughts on this. The other thing that I always consider is that I am a biomom....I am not a psycho, a bitch, etc. There are great biomoms around and there are some wicked step moms. Sometimes how we perceive things as the current wife clouds our judgement of the biomom's actions. We aren't always the best judges of the other bio parent's personality or behaviour.
Um, before I say what really
Um, before I say what really alarms me, I will tell you that I am a soon to be step mom, in the relationship for 5 years and my BF has two teenage daughters who love me very much (i consider myself very fortunate!) Now for what alarms me. Given that I do not know the age of these two children, unless they are the age of 5 or under, these children are burning the fur of your beloved pet. They are purposely trying to injure this animal only because it belongs to you. If my BF's daughters ever did anything to harm my dog, it would be a deal breaker. How could you trust them not to constantly torment the animal any time your are not in the room, etc. Maybe my thoughts are a little "over the top" but I think it is messed up that they are trying to harm your dog. Good Luck
yup, the dog thing scares me, too.
Where does your fiance fit into all of this? Is he taking a stance with these kids?
I think that a letter to the biomom might be a bit too aggresive right now (dang, you let that one rip out, didn't you?!), and that she won't hear your words anyway. I say this b/c I am the biomom of two boys, and my Ex got right into a relationship as soon as I served him papers and man I was just CRAZED with anger over the fact that she was hanging out with my boys. OH, how I burned to let her have it, tell her this or that...but I didn't, and you know what? Time fixed my attitude (I got over him) and now I just see that she is a passive, young and shy woman who is trying to please my Ex by pleasing my kids...nothing to hate there! In other words, I WAS the bitter biomom who just needed some time to deal.
That said, I am dealing with a truely spiteful and angry biomom (the mother of my BF's girls) and am on the receiving end of her venom...I mean, these girls actually think that I killed or stole their dog when she disappeared a few months ago...and guess who planted THAT idea in her head!
These children will ultimately come to judge you based on your actions and not biomom's anger...but in the meantime, I would sure like to see your man step up to the plate and protect you! (and mine, too, for that matter...but I digress)!
You are in for a rough time and I hope that you have a few good friends who will help you through us. In the meantime, we are right here for you : )