divorcing my stepchildren
Well, my husband died about a year and 1/2 ago and since then I've been in a battle with them. All over money and property. It feel very much like a divorce following on the heals of a death. For nearly two years I have experienced no joy or peace. We are going to court and I really don't even care about the outcome, I just never want to see them again. Make sure your husbands leave things as clear as possible. Mine did not. His children managed to intimidate him by constantly asking about the trust. Arguing about money, dividing up possessions, all the blaming...doesn't that sound like divorce to you? Thanks for being here. I rarely get to talk about this because so many of our mutual friends knew his kids and I feel cast into the role of evil stepmother. They don't want to hear the details so they stay away. Doesn't that feel like divorce again?
So sorry lucy, that
So sorry lucy, that sucks.....my DH and I have had this discussion. When my over-sized brat of a stepson (he's 24) came into my house and started claiming what's his--that was that. I couldn't believe the GALL of this idiot! My DH is alive & well, with many good years ahead of him. I did not appreciate my SS doing this. DH & I came to the agreement that anything he had before his relationship with me (that his stupid ex wife didn't manage to get her paws on), SS can have. Anything accumulated during his relationship with me, our kids get. Now, we need to get that in writing!
If I die first, DH gets 1% of
If I die first, DH gets 1% of the house and property and is trustee for the remaining 99% to our 2 bios. If DH dies first, the skids and BM can come clamouring for their portion of a 1% and I will get the lawyers to pay them off.
All you steppies out there, get your arrangements in place. Lucy is so right.
And refuse to discuss this with extended family. IT'S PRIVATE.
One of the sickening things about my ILs is the way they parade about pronouncing what they are going to leave to whom. It's all a vain power play.
DH recently said, he'd feel bad about whatever they left to him going only to our two BSs ultimately. I said fine. Split it 5 ways or whatever portion you want as soon as you are bequeathed it, and give them theirs in cash. Done.
I'm just hard-nosed through bitter experience though. Our BM extracted virtually the whole of their former matrimonial home from DH then sold and squandered the proceeds on a financial gamble. He and I were penniless when we got together and everything we made was the fruits of our marriage. I'm not paying twice for her abuse.
"Then enter the marriage at
"Then enter the marriage at "fresh start" and everything accumulated belongs solely to the marriage."
Hmmm. I like that idea. Thanks for sharing
I'm so sorry. I lost my
I'm so sorry. I lost my first husband 9 years ago and there were no children involved, but I had the same issues with his family. It was like a divorce not a death. All they cared about was money and what I was doing with it. It was like I couldn't grieve.
I am always absolutely
I am always absolutely disgusted to see who people really are and one never knows the true depth/shallowness of a persons soul until someone near them dies and they start fighting over a f*cking thimble or a buck. Blows my mind.
I am so sorry that you are going through this.
Greed. It's one of the 7 sins for a reason.
If you can find it in your heart to really not care about the results of the court proceedings, the more peace you will find. Then, at the end of your life you will only need to answer for the love that you had for your husband, not for the greed you felt toward his possessions.
Hang in there sweetie. Your time to grieve is right around the corner.
(((HUG)))
Spoiled, that is my
Spoiled, that is my intention. Just have to figure out which charity. Will not leave them a dime...well, maybe the grandkids a little. Thanks to all for your support. I never dreamed I'd have to go through a death and then a divorce so soon. I'm sorry for those of you who might have this ahead of you. Fix those finances now!
Hugs back
Thinking of you Lucy. I am so
Thinking of you Lucy. I am so sorry you are going through this. Many of us will follow in your shoes at some point. So sad.
Hugs to you!!!!!
Thanks again for the support.
Thanks again for the support. After talking to my atty yesterday, I decided to just ask them for the first year expenses on the second house and deed it over to them. If they say no to this small amount, he thinks we should move forward with the petition. My case is weird. My husband left me as trustee with lifetime rights to use the to properties, but when I die leaves both properties to his kids. I can't sell anything. In other words, he left me with all the responsibility and no ownership. My husband was afraid of his children and their demands and expectations, and he allowed all of this to happen. He promised me he would change the trust so that I would own the house I live in, but he never did. The kids were more and more demanding as time went on. I will be alright. He left me a little money and I have a pension and a roof over my head. I also have virtually all of the possessions, which I can sell off slowly over time.
I just want them out of my life now. I need to have a life that is not so full of strife. Sometimes I really do wonder if I have the strength to get through this, but I have this community and I have a good lawyer.
Hugs all around