My husband was very, very young when he was with the ex. He wasn't even married to her. He knew that if they got married it would be just because of stepson and that the marriage would never last. His relationshiop with the ex, I think, was kind of strange. They didn't really ever go places together. They just hung out. He was only with her for a few months when she got pregnant. He stayed with her and tried to make it work for stepson's sake. That is until he caught her red handed, cheating on him. That was it. Her cheating on him really messed him up. It took him a long time to trust anyone. I made him realize that I was nothing like the ex.

Anyway, yes my husband still looks at other females and no I don't really like it but I know I can trust him. I still tell him that I don't appreciate him eyeballing women. At least when I'm right there. You know, it's like........excuse me, why are you doing that?!

However, I know that there is no way that what happened with my husband and his ex will never happen to us because I am a much better person than his ex. If I do say so myself!!

Dawn

Yes my husband makes the same mistakes now like before w/his 1st wife. I now understand why she left him, I don't really blame her for that but because I know my husband really well, his actions I am by his side no matter what, I do point out to him if I think it is wrong and he makes effort in correcting his actions. So I guess you could say I developed a thick skin over our 6 yrs of marriage. No one is perfect and I'm sure I've got some qualities he dislikes and vice versa, so as long as you talk it out and work it out, everything is well. As for his ex-wife, she just can't understand beyond what his intentions were and gave up. I, in the other hand love my husband dearly and would do anything to keep our relationship happy. So my advice is to talk things out, let him know what bothers you and work it out.

I know exactly what you mean and actually just had this convo with my husband. He had been critical of me and had used the EXACT same language he used to describe some things that frustrated him about the x. When I pointed this out and mentioned that it made me very upset and concerned about the state of our relationship (10 yrs next week), he told me I was overreacting. The thing is, I am not at all like the x and so I am not reacting in the same manner that she did to some of his less than endearing qualities. (Plus she now plays for the other team, if you know what I mean) I do think there are things he has not learned from the demise of his first relationship and we are trying to work through those issues together. It is HARD and the conversations can be unpleasant but if you keep too much to yourself and are not honest, what is the basis of your relationship? It's not like in our current situation there aren't a thousand emotions and words you need to withhold to keep some level of peace with your sk and the blended family in general. There has to be one relationship free of those restrictions or you go crazy.

i was worried cause i was seeing some of his bad habbits show up more often when he was in a depression about his failed marriage or when his ex would cause some kind of drama about their son. And much like Dawn said " I am a much better person than his ex" my BF's parents have even said it to both him and I. But from the begining he could trust me because i made sure i was an open book with him, even when he would do hurtful things i would stay a good to him and try and work things out with him and not disrespect myself, him or our relationship. It took him a while to really understand how a person can be so good cause he was use to being done wrong by his ex and he couldn't trust her if he was out of her sight, man he couldn't trust her when she was in his sight. It takes a lot of understanding on your part and knowing what you want and what you are able to deal with. In the end your actions will prove to him and help show him the difference and hopefully he will want to change the bad habbits that he may have had in his first marriage.

My husband is really good friends with my bro in law and my sister that is acually how I met my husband was in there wedding 15 years ago.. Cool huh..
Anyways my sister the whole time they were married acted like she was the perfect wife and stuff. But after they divorced she would say things like she was in depression and wouldn't clean the house.. I was more worried I was not going to be good enough for him.. If that makes any sense.
But after I met her. IT cracks me up she has a little squeaky mouse voice and she tries to act perfect.. And the funny thing is I know she is not.. By looking and seeing the things her kids do.. No respect thing..
My husband is awesome, we only go out if we are together. we fish a lot with one another. I mean he still has man time with buddies or whatever but usually that is on a day he has off and i have to work. But he is a hard worker, I am really not sure why she divorced him because he is awesome.. Not a drunk or abuser nothing, a good dad, and by that I mean I know he loves his kids.. Umm I guess I don't have to think about that because there is nothing I would change about him. I think she got a divorce because she thought that the grass would be greener, but has since learned that she has no grass. He dated 2 other women before we hooked up and now he is married again and she is alone and has to see him and how happy he is and might I say there are 9 years between us.. So I am younger.. Which I am sure is a slap in the face to her.. OK.. I am done I probably sound consceded.. Really I am not I just know for sure I am way prettier and nicer and not fake and everything then her..