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I need help!!

crustycrunchieme's picture

I'm at the breaking point. His daughter comes to visit for a month next week and he REFUSES to talk about anything! He asked me to go shopping, and he wants me to buy her baby food so she can eat. Because her eating habits are so poor at home, he thinks buying her yogurt melts will give her some nutrition. This child has not drank milk since she was a baby. She hasn't had any dairy for that matter since she's been 4 years old. And he's worried she not getting any calcium? She's is 9 years old now and she's eating baby food? I'm unemployed and baby food is expensive for a 9 year old! I cannot justify buying a big kid Gerber yogurt melts every day so she can eat breakfast. They're almost $3 a pack, and they're only one ounce! Cereal would be fine. An entire box will last her two weeks! On top of that, she actually thinks we're going to be driving to Chick-fil-A everyday to feed her! When I try to talk to him about anything...it's an immediate fight. When I tell him that she is not my DNA! Apparently he thinks because she comes with him I should automatically love this kid and treat her like my own. Nope.. sorry. doesn't work that way. He's making me hate his kid because he's literally against everything I do and say if it's not stroking her ego and making her feel like a beautiful princess all day everyday! I can't do this without ANY support! Because I am fairly new to the state we live in I have no friends yet. So I have no support from another adult. I'm very alone. I just want to give up and walk away.

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crustycrunchieme's picture

She only visits at best once or twice a year. But those visits are awful! She is not happy when she is here unless we are shopping for her..or her daddy is responding to her obsessive "I love yous" every 10 minutes. And thats NOT an exaggeration. I love you....I love you...I love you.

This child does nothing but glare at me! And I dont know why. She won't kiss me hello or goodbye. Thats fine...but when I see her be affectionate with EVERYONE else, I feel like that horrible mean stepmom who she wants to nail to the cross! Ive never done or said one mean thing this this kid. Oh, wait. Apparently I hurt her feelings when she was here last when I stopped her from jumping on/off my couch and told her not to use my furniture as her gymnastic equipment as it is a very expensive couch. She complained about "house rules" and how she didn't like them and that she wasnt used to them because has no rules at home and she wasnt "used" to following house rules.

Because of this he thinks Im a mean and controlling person. God forbid your presious child would have to obey a house rule out respect for other peoples belongings in thier home.

Just because his kid is uncontrolled and spoiled and has no structure doesn't mean I have to put up with it in my own home And just because we live together DOES NOT mean I am REQUIRED Or OBLIGATED to involve myself in anyway shape or form. But he thinks I am.

I'm not a Nike commercial...I'm not going to "Just do it!"

crustycrunchieme's picture

She only visits at best once or twice a year. But those visits are awful! She is not happy when she is here unless we are shopping for her..or her daddy is responding to her obsessive "I love yous" every 10 minutes. And thats NOT an exaggeration. I love you....I love you...I love you.

This child does nothing but glare at me! And I dont know why. She won't kiss me hello or goodbye. Thats fine...but when I see her be affectionate with EVERYONE else, I feel like that horrible mean stepmom who she wants to nail to the cross! Ive never done or said one mean thing this this kid. Oh, wait. Apparently I hurt her feelings when she was here last when I stopped her from jumping on/off my couch and told her not to use my furniture as her gymnastic equipment as it is a very expensive couch. She complained about "house rules" and how she didn't like them and that she wasnt used to them because has no rules at home and she wasnt "used" to following house rules.

Because of this he thinks Im a mean and controlling person. God forbid your presious child would have to obey a house rule out respect for other peoples belongings in thier home.

Just because his kid is uncontrolled and spoiled and has no structure doesn't mean I have to put up with it in my own home And just because we live together DOES NOT mean I am REQUIRED Or OBLIGATED to involve myself in anyway shape or form. But he thinks I am.

I'm not a Nike commercial...I'm not going to "Just do it!"

almost_step_mom_again's picture

Count your blessings you don't have this child every other week. I'm the wicked step mom because I said the 9 year old couldnt eat pizza on the $1800 couch I just bought and had delivered 2 hours earlier than the pizza. What is wrong with these fathers who allow their children to act like animals and how did I miss this before we lived together? Hang in there you aren't alone.

Liger's picture

Does your boyfriend/partner works?
Are you bringing in any income?

If you guys are struggling with money, I see no point in buying baby food for a kid. Why doesnt your partner just buy gummy multivitamin with calcium.

SMforever's picture

I think the best thing for you is just to buy what food you normally do, and if princess wants specials, then Daddee can go buy those things with his own money.

I know it's hard...my DH asks me to buy assinine things for SD22 whenever she is due to come over for a BBQ (she lives, uh, 10 min drive away and does not ask for special food...he thinks she needs it). I just conveniently forget to buy stupid things like cans of coke (who drinks that anyway, it takes the rust off a knife) and fizzy pop dyed red (carcinogenic last time I heard) ...I wouldn't seve that stuff to my worst enemy, let alone SD. She can drink what the rest of us drink. So can your SD. These doting fathers think their little gems run on sunshine and unicorn farts.

Cooooookies's picture

It's your husband you should hate, not an innocent 9 year old whose both parents do not parent her at all.

She is being taught that she can do anything she wants by both of her parents. Her mother has created this monster.

Your husband is further supporting the creation of this spoiled monster.

You are angry at the wrong person.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Agreed, it is your husband you need to deal with....the child is a child, just allowed to do whatever...but, will grow up to be an adult with even larger determination to get what THEY want because they believe they are number one, to anybody, anywhere...and expect that treatment everywhere.