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How much does your DH pay in CS?

DeeBee74's picture

I was reading AJanies blog and a few posters said their DHs were paying ridiculous amounts of support. I'm curious, what is ridiculous? DH has EOW but our state has income equalization and he pays BM $712 for 2 kids. My ex is nowhere to be found so my ex pays a big fat $0.

How much does your DH pay?

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

wah?????? So your DH has his daughter 1/2 the time and STILL pays out over $1000 in CS/extras??? That hurts.

thinkthrice's picture

For SD18 and YSS 14 got it lowered to $800 a month. This is based on Chef's income which is approx. 40K a year and the Girhippo's income which is approx. 50K a year.

BM has full PASout custody. BM also has a extremely low cost Cadillac health insurance plan which she has the skids on because she works for the county/NYS.

DaizyDuke's picture

wtf? he was paying all of that and they were still living in squalor in a trailer with holes in the floor and cat piss everywhere????? What the hell was BM spending all that money on???

Thumper's picture

Ladyface
My guess is your bm wants her money hence why the kids reallllly dont want to come.

Its all about the overnights.

I HATE reading this junk..I really do. And I am sorry Sad

thinkthrice's picture

Hopefully your CS won't go UP! Of course the BM doesn't have to hold up her end of the bargain by not interfering with visitation. But holy cats! If bioDAD skips a PENNY in CS, all hell breaks loose!

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

dd2'S DAD pays $1000 a month for two kids. And covers the medical insurance which is $560 a month. He also pays half medical. HE pays the car insurance on SD17. He makes about $70,000 a year before taxes. BM made $0 when they divorced when the $1000 was come up with. She now owns a fancy hair salon and if the Christmas party she threw as a Customer Appreciation party is any indication (she rented out an airport hangar and had a full bar and catering and decorations and a band and a photographer against a red carpet sign she had made) then she is doing quite well for herself and that should be adjusted so that I get money for DD2. He also doesn't get any over nights with his kids ages 15 and 17. That wasn't the courts doing. Its just that they are busy teens with full social lives and one has a job and takes college classes.

AJanie's picture

$800 per month for 2. Plus 1/2 for sports, field trips or any activity that cost money. She also nickles and dimes i.e. haircuts, new shoes... things that child support should cover. We also do nearly all of the driving.

BethAnne's picture

$0. Sd lives with us. BM also pays $0 as my husband refuses to ask for any (I ran the calculations and she would probably only owe about $100 a month because she is either unemployed or in a minimum wage job depending on when you ask). My husband does not need financial assistance from BM but it would show her that he is not her personal money train and should not hold the full burden of bringing up their child.

TwelveLongYrs79's picture

In the same boat...DH hasn't bothered to go to court to get pittance. He'd rather not waste his breath or time.
Skankula hasn't worked since SDrama was 5. And gets every type of government assistance she can file for...if only she spent that effort on finding an actual job!

sunshinex's picture

We have the same problem. SD is 5 and has always been with us yet BM never paid anything. DH is finally filing for child support now Smile It'll only be about a hundred bucks a month, but it's the fact that we shouldn't have ALL of the costs. She should be forced to pay SOMETHING towards the child she wanted so badly. Plus we're hoping to get half of college expenses in the order.

CLove's picture

My SO has 2 children (SD17, and SD10)& pays $0 Child Support, but $300 alimony. He pays 50% of any medical costs but no insurance (BM's insurance is through school system and is very low). We have 50/50 custody. SO buys back-to-school supplies(all), clothing like jackets/shoes, and generally 50% of any other clothing purchased by BM. He pays 100% entertainment costs.

My SO always takes youngest and eldest to school during the week, and does all driving for pickup/dropoff. She lives close by, so that is not an issue. He has provided all furniture and bedding for the children's accommodations in the BM's apartment, in addition to a very large couch, for their living room.

CLove's picture

Downsouth, we have one of those situations where my sweetie, who comes from a big family who are very well off, just somehow "gets stuff given to him free". When someone redecorates, or replaces, they call him. So as a consequence of us upgrading, and because he is kindhearted, he "gives" to the BM, thinking at least the skids will benefit. Im like "sell the mofo, and let HER live in the squalor she deserves". Well, I say this in my head. But, you pick your battles right?

The other night, as a result of reading the posts here, and gaining more insight into these issues, I asked him point blank "do you truly believe that she has earned anything additional from you, just because she was married to you? Do you truly believe she got absolutely nothing from being married to you and therefore you must give to her continually?"

His answer: "No". But he DOES continue to give to her - using the excuse that either it saves him a trip to the dump, saves him time selling, he can trade it for alimony payment, or it will improve his kids lives over THERE, when they are with HER.

Frankly, I'm not AT ALL interested in their lives improving over THERE. If they have it good with us, and then not godo there, they might appreciate it more...but what do I know, right? Not having kids of my own, its tough to argue with his logic.

CLove's picture

And if we get any new couches floating our way, Ill float it on over to Texas. In a kayak, because it is flooding in my area.

thinkthrice's picture

Alimony/Spousal support is WAY better than CS because it's tax deductible for the paYOR.

TwelveLongYrs79's picture

DH used to pay $450 CS a month. Also paid for needs outside of CS - shoes, back to school clothes/supplies, winter jackets, "basic needs" stuff like that.

Since DH has had SDrama since 2012, we've gotten $0 from Skankula. ZERO. And now all her "needs" of course are more expensive. Nice.

ksmom14's picture

It obviously majorly depends on what everyone's incomes are as well, because that's a huge part of the calculation!

DH is CP and BM pays him CS, they came up with a figure on their own and BM pays DH $700 a month for 3 kids. BM makes about $50K, DH makes about $70K, in our state they only calculate based on NCP's income, and based on that she's about $200 under each month what the state would make her pay. DH and BM split medical (premiums and regular expenses). DH covers everything else.

TwoOfUs's picture

When I Google sexy surfer dudes over 40...i get Patrick Dempsey and Viggo Morgansen (spelling?)

Cocktail...?

uofarkchick's picture

Since my ex is currently a resident of the Depart of Corrections, I get nada. He filed a motion yesterday to have CS completely stopped because he is in prison. And from what I've read, he just might get it. There's talk of making it a federal law that CS stops for prisoners.
How is it my effing fault that he beat the hell out of me and ended up in prison? Our three kids still need food, a home, and clothes. I'm providing everything with no help from the government and I think I am entitled to a "refund" from their deadbeat father. One of the conditions of his parole will be stable employment and I will make sure CSE is on him like white on rice.

Sorry for the rant...

Peridwen's picture

I thought there were work programs in prisons to cover situations like yours. That really sucks uofarkchick.

Peridwen's picture

Lol, that $2/ month could have paid for ... an ice cream bar? That's actually really sad.

Stepped in what momma's picture

Most people that get out of prison have a hell of a time getting a job even if they really want one.

Countrymom's picture

DH pays BM nothing, yippee. They agreed to that when they split. They have 50/50 but DH does pay for SS insurance.

My ex pays me $510/month CS for 2 kids, we have 50/50 (I actually have them more though) and it was based on income by the state. He also pays for their insurance. I am responsible for paying all childcare. Any extras (sports, etc) are split 50/50 and copays are a percentage based on income, me 32%, ex 68%.

zerostepdrama's picture

My ex is ordered to pay something like $350.

I carry medical, dental and vision. I pay for all co-pays and scripts.

I pay for basic cell phone. (We have no land line)

I pay for viola rental.

I pay for all sports (Soccer- $55x2 a year, wrestling is currently at $600 but will be more before end of this season).

I pay for all sporting equipment.

I buy all school clothes.

I pay for all school supplies.

Ex's mother buys new winter jacket and gloves, hat every other year so I dont have to pay for that.

Anything extra I pay for as well- birthday party gifts for classmates, money for field trips. When BS wants to earn money it's me that has to pay for that. The little things add up.

Ex has BS about 60-75 days a year. That's during a good year.

I do 75% of the transporting.

Ex owes $18,500+ in CS and has no intention on paying me.

As we all know, it's not just our DH's that are getting screwed.

Pecanflower's picture

DH pays 550 per month for SD18. Plus she gets Survivors Benefits from when he went on Disability. He made sure she would get those benefits as well. Now mind you, he is on complete disability and made sure that he paid child support for his daughters regardless of his situation. Despite how far behind it might have put him.

Meanwhile BM (different mother than SD18) for SS14 pays NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING.

yepitsme's picture

DH pays almost $1100 a month for one child and has to supply insurance(luckily it costs us nothing). He also pays 50% of medical bills. He gets EOWE, every wednesday 6-8, split holidays and one month in the summer.

Pecanflower's picture

How??? DH barely makes 15000 a YEAR in disability. I mean really.. If it weren't for me he would be SOL.

MrsZipper's picture

At my job you can opt in to a program and pay $6/paycheck to have LTD upped to 65% of your salary in case something happens to you. If you made 100000 a year, you can make 65000 in disability. Without the $6/month added you get 50%.

TwoOfUs's picture

We have skids 1/3 of the time and still paid $900 in CS when all three were on it. Also paid phones ($150 a month for all three to have to have phones and access), and TONS of extras whenever BM felt like it. Plus, she's always gotten to claim all three on taxes.

CS has definitely hampered our ability to have our own kid. Just calculated it up the other day, and we've spent 85K on just CS and phones in the 6.5 years we've been married. This doesn't count any if the extras we've done, Christmas, birthdays, car maintenance, groceries or higher bills while they're here...I wouldn't be surprised if the true total was more than double the 85K.

TwoOfUs's picture

Should add...it's really a sobering thought when I look at it.

Marrying a guy with kids is like Marrying someone with over 100K of personal debt. Think long and hard about it!

uofarkchick's picture

I have never looked at it that way but I think you are 100% correct. This is going to be my new advice to anyone thinking about marrying a NCP. You're a smart cookie.

AJanie's picture

So true. I want a child of my own but I know we can't afford it. Of course, BM didn't think twice about being able to afford her kids before she popped them out.

BM also always claims them on her tax returns in addition to her child support and us paying half for activities and for everything in our own home. Then she talks like she is an independent woman. What a joke. Never even so much as rented her own apartment. Independent? Farthest thing from it.

MrsZipper's picture

Her DH was a banking exec making 600k per year if I'm not mistaken. So for years he was spending 8% of his salary on CS.

Sweet T's picture

Wow, this is crazy amounts. I pay almost as much to insure just BS as the amount of CS that my ex pays me.

Stepped in what momma's picture

My SO pays $850 a month and insurance but I am not positive on the insurance amount/cost.

Edited to add: ALL haircuts are paid by SO and he spends $300 a kid on school clothes

Livingoutloud's picture

SKs are grown so no CS. But DH pays $800 in spousal support.

No ex wasn't SAHM, she just never held a job for any length of time, and if she worked she only worked part time and minimum wage job. She has college degree and no disability, she isnt even 50 yet . Last few years of marriage she flat refused to work at all, that was the last straw for DH.

Judge awarded alimony saying that she needs set number of years to get on her feet and her college degree is useless. Since divorce she has been working minimum wage job 15 hours a week.

Besides alimony she lives in subsidized housing. We know she smokes pot and we think maybe selling it. She sometimes babysits SGD and demands SD pays her. My DH is college educated and has professional job but makes just a little over 60k. We have 6 more years to pay her. Life is unfair.

My DH actually has a disability (he isn't ON disability) yet he supports able bodied lazy adult who sleeps around and smokes pot. How nice...

InNeedOfGuidance12's picture

50/50 No support order. BM would have to pay us if we had a support order as we're in an income equalization state and she makes about 20k more than DH.

IslandGal's picture

I totally got rooted sideways with child support. Ex paid 88 per month cuz the rat bastard worked under the table. This was for 2 boys. He then remarried and popped out 4 kids in 5 years with new wife. Payments dropped to 44 a month thereafter.

SO pays 1050 per month for 2 teens. He gets SS14 EOW and half of all holidays.

thinkthrice's picture

Yeah I never got any CS from my two ex-hubbys. This was during the eighties and early nineties before the pendulum swung in the complete and opposite direction.

momjeans's picture

DH pays $600/month for one child.

I think the only factor that makes that amount totally okay is that it NEVER crosses BM's hands. He pays it directly to skids school. It's her monthly private school tuition. It was his idea. It's in the court order and everything. It's great.

Livingoutloud's picture

The whole thing pisses me off. We try not to let it bother us but why on the planet my poor DH has to pay lazy biatch $800 a month in alimony and kids are long grown when people don't even pay that much in child support! He really got screwed.

Acratopotes's picture

SO does not pay CS and has full and sole custody of Aergia.... BM does not pay anything towards her

Buffy's picture

In the U.K., but equivalent of $1,840 per month for two children (and he has them all of every weekend). Plus we get what we call "micro gauged" for everything e.g. The children come over needing urgent school supplies / swimming costume / shoes / lunch boxes etc for Monday morning that BM has been "too busy" or "no money" to get...

She also benefits from the equivalent of large amounts of child benefits / welfare (approx $2,000 per month) - a big chunk of which she'd lose if she was honest about her living with her long term partner...

She also earns about $1,500 per month (and recently inherited assets and cash from her parents estate worth approx $750,000).

And she constantly tells the children how "poor" she is and how "rich" we are, so we should spend loads of money on entertaining them and buying them expensive items like electronics to take home with them.

Meanwhile I lost my job due to severe disability (but only get $400 per month in any sort of assistance), so we struggle as the CS is such a large proportion of DH's income (plus how much it costs to home, feed, clothe & entertain them all weekend), but BM still tells everyone what a "terribly brave, poor, struggling single mother" she is :voms:

strugglingSM's picture

When DH and BM were married, she was the primary breadwinner. He worked, but fewer hours and did most of the caretaking. When they divorced, she insisted on having full custody (for appearances sake) and now complains incessantly about it. 

DH pays around $600 per month for 2 kids. He also pays for their insurance. His max insurance payment is supposed to be $175 month (he's supposed to be able to deduct any additional from his CS payment), but right now, for his family plan, he's paying close to $1000 a month. 

He pays 30% of extras, but usually just pays for what he wants and BM pays for what she wants, since BM used to use extras as a way to ask for hundreds of extra dollars a month (without receipts). 

He did not ask for alimony, even though he was entitled to it. BM made around 4X what he was making when they divorced. 

BM still complains incessantly that his amount is too low, even though we also buy all clothes and shoes for our house and clothes and shoes for her house. We also buy winter coats, since she says that's not her responsibility. And even though, she should have been paying alimony and DH was entitled to a cut of her business, since he cared for the children while she worked. He also had $12K of her tax debt garnished from his pay, $6K of which was returned to him after he got an Innocent Spouse Ruling from the IRS. She's threatened to ask for more CS, but he reminds her that if she wants to request more CS then maybe they should also revisit the tax debt (which she took on in the divorce and then didn't pay).