You are here

Needed to let this out

Kwnas1evilSM's picture

bmitted by Kwnas1evilSM on Sun, 10/23/2016 - 11:50am.
Hi,
I'm new to this forum, but as I'm reading these post. I found myself thinking, "are they peering in my window?" I too decided to disengage from my SC; although, I've raised them for several years"alone",while DH was away for several weeks at a time for work and BM was finding herself (thru several men).I still had two BC at home and his two children. I did everything, parent teacher conferences for four children (elementary and middle school than middle and high school) and I worked nights! BM was the cool weekend parent that came to pick them up on Saturday did fun things and dropped them back off. Mind you she didn't pay CS, for the two we had living with us, but insisted he contribute for the BD she had finally allowed to live with her (she lived with us for three years before the mom allowed her to move in, she was 14 by then). Anyways, after several years and the SC were getting closer to the magic number "18" she started manipulating them and telling them that they didn't have to listen to me because I'm not their mother (never wanted to be) after several years of constant problems with then and Disney Dad allowing her and the kids to throw me under the bus and he not get involved because of his guilt of not being involved in their lives. And him telling me that I've NEVER done any thing for their children and that I've never liked them only because I made my mind up that they would longer use me. I'm now living my life focusing on my children and grandchildren.

sammigirl's picture

Good for you! I am still with my DH for reasons I won't go into here; because I've posted it all before.

But there have been major changes in my inner self the past 2 years. I am now living for myself and have completely changed my way of thinking on all of this bad treatment, that I allowed for 37 years. I can live for myself and still carry on a civil life. But between you and I, it's for me and nobody else.

No more allowing the door mat life.

Welcome to this site, it is my rock.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Like Sammi, and you...I also learned the hard way. I allowed myself to be used for sometime before I opened my eyes to my reality life, rather than believing in my fantasy life. I have learned what I did--- was only an expectation by my Skids; kids who feel no need to thank you and honestly never even appreciate your going to extra mile to please them. The quicker you see what is happening to you, the less used you feel. For most of us, by trying to make it work and believing throwing in the towel is horrible, we wasted much emotion, money and time--to end up with nothing except a reality check.

You do have to accept reality for what it is..Erase those people who do not care for you from your life; and live life for you.

Disneyfan's picture

Are you still with the man who used you and threw you under the bus or did you leave him?

Kwnas1evilSM's picture

I'm still with him; although, I'm really contemplating leaving. Especially after the last stunt he pulled last week. It's funny though because everytime I mention me wanting to leave he reverts back to the person I fell in love with, but it's becoming exhausting. I HATE coming to my own home especially since his SD had to move back in with us! And she's still manipulating him! The only good things that's came from this is 1. Me deciding to cut them all from my life. 2. Finding this forum

Kwnas1evilSM's picture

I don't know why.I keep asking myself the same thing, everytime some crazy stuff happens.