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Update: second chance for partners family

Amcc13's picture

i posted before about my partner wanting me to go to the communion party and meal despite me and his mom not getting along. I had wanted to go to the meal as less people and less overwhelming but has put my foot down about the party. He had tried every trick in the book to make me go which mainly involved him playing the victim.
Well I put my foot down again and this time FINALLY it got thru!
He started the victim stuff about how he is in the middle and trying to help everyone and make everyone happy. I told him he knew for a long time that I was not happy with the way his mom treated me and had asked him several times to manage it. He didn't and we all have to live with the consequences

He then started saying 'well I am asking you to go as a favor to me and I want you there' and I reminded him I have spent the last three years asking him to handle his mom and he couldn't do that. I also reminded him of the 8th of Dec last year when she took it upon herself to criticise my Xmas gifts for the kids and I told him that I was reaching breaking point, that I was sick of being bullied and it was effecting my mental health. I asked him to talk to his parents then for me to please do something before I went past the point of no return
Well he didn't do anything and I went past the point when she lied about me to him and I am now done

It took an hour of back and forth but eventually he agreed that to me just being at the meal. I am sure on Saturday there will be renewed pressure face to face to cave in and go but I have told him if he starts that I will announce why I am not going in front of everyone. These people don't like me and I have nothing to lose.

Either way, I think I finally got through his thick skull! Feeling large and in charge!!!

Comments

Amcc13's picture

Yeh Sally he is prob gonna have another go at it but I have now made plans with the girls for that evening so there is no way I will be changing my mind.
If he says anything I will be giving the reasons why loud and proud - past the point of caring at this stage Smile

Hope all well with u Sally ; you nipped off for a bit and we missed u

Amcc13's picture

Yeh when it comes to this stuff he always gets pouty and acts like he is under such terrible stress trying to cater to everyone and acting the martyr. And exactly as you said, plays victim to get his way on things

Yeh feeling good about standing strong on this one ; going to meet the girls on Saturday instead- can't wait , really looking forward to seeing friends instead of being miserable at the party