Soooo confused - Obsessed with his daughter!Submitted by SC on Mon, 01/25/2010 - 12:36am
I've been rethinking my relationship with my fiance lately, but I'm just really confused. He is so kind and intelligent and I enjoy being around him. The problem is his obsession with his 6 year old daughter. This morning, we were making love as six (count 'em SIX) photos of his daughter stared straight back at me. He has eight photos of her in his bedroom alone.
Is it daddy guilt? Does he think of her as his buddy? I don't know... He's so caring about me, but almost equates his relationship with his daughter with the one he has with me. As we discussed our impending marriage, I said maybe we didn't need to be married. He was pretty upset and said he loved me and wanted to be married. He wanted a companion. When I said, "But I AM your companion!" He said, "Yes, and so is _______!" (his daughter). He expressed this so joyfully, it turned my stomach. I don't even think he realized how unhealthy that sounded.
Also, I have two children of my own. They like my fiance and he likes them. He gets along with them and makes an effort to talk to them. However, whenever we're all together, it feels very separate...as though we're two separate families. He's so obsessed with his daughter and her every move, I feel we're invisible sometimes. When we're out together, he takes pictures of his daughter and doesn't include my children in ANY of the pictures. What's up with that???
So I keep thinking it's time to say goodbye. But then we have the week where he doesn't have his daughter (he has 50/50 custody) and we have the most incredible time! We are so in tune with one another and I truly enjoy myself and am the happiest I've ever been. But then...the week with his daughter arrives again and I feel left out and worry about how my children would fare in this potential marriage.
I'm soooooooo confused!!! Would therapy help? I've spoken to him multiple times about these issues and nothing has changed.
Thanks for any insight...