I've been engaged to a great woman now for a little over 6 months....we've been dating for over 2.5 years now. She has 3 kids, 2 of which are at home every other week (one week with us, one week with dad, etc......same small town about 8 blocks from each other).

19 year old girl is a lost cause. Won't speak with us because we won't buy her and her little high school friends booze like her dad does, and we continue to urge her to continue her schooling, while dad uses his job as a shift supervisor at a local plant to keep her employed there. She is selfish, mean, cold, spoiled.....nothing good to say about her. She constantly calls up my fiancee and yells at her telling her how bad of a mom she is because she doesn't drop all she's doing to cater to her every whiney need.

13 year old boy is a good kid. He lacks any drive to accomplish anything at all, but that has been instilled in him by a father who is so afraid of losing that he's never even taken a chance at winning. I try to be a positive influence on him and get him to challenge himself and participate in ANYTHING, but he's protected in his do-nothing existence by his loser of a father. So be it.....at least the kid has a heart of gold and I hope that the light will come on sometime in the next 6 months before he starts high school.

11 year old girl is a frickin terror. Constantly hitting her mom, screaming "I hate you" and "I want to live with Daddy" and "you are the worst mother ever and I don't claim you as my mom anymore" or "My Mom is dead...I don't have a mom". From the second she wakes up until she falls asleep, she is constantly yelling, screaming, whining, complaining, manipulating....she is (and I never thought i'd say this about a kid), but she is PURE EVIL. And its always over something like the fact that she lost something, but it is everybody's else's fault. Or because she has to clean her room. Or because "we don't have anything at all to eat", though we keep a full fridege, cupboards, etc....and always with stuff the kids insist on having. Or its because her friends aren't able to do something with her...so of course its our fault.

I can't imagine living another 8 years with her around. I have basically put half of my life on hold because of these kids, which is fine, as I knew that was part of the deal with dating a single mother. However, its getting worse. I live with a constant gutache the weeks the little nightmare is with us. The yelling never stops. It gives fiancee terrible headaches and has her in a constant state of pretty much depression. I've told her that she needs to just give up the girl, but she doesn't want to because she fears that if we aren't in the picture, the ex and his family will completely destroy any memory or relationship with her kids.....which is likely true, because they are already doing everything they can to speak poorly of her and me in front of the kids. I'm half tempted to fight fire with fire and start telling the kids what horrible people that side of their family is, but I don't want to mess things up prematurely for my fiancee.

However, we are now planning our wedding in about a year and a half, and even that is being shortened (are planning a trip to Europe, just the two of us) because she doesn't want to miss out on hving the kids for two weeks. I don't know if I can keep this up. I want the kids gone (at least the 11 year old). Anybody been through anything like this?

I love my fiancee to death. I can't stand her daughters and the constant bullshit we have to put with from her ex and his family. But, if I stay, I know that eventually it will come down to her having to make a choice, and I don't know what is worse.....THAT, or walking away and leaving her heartbroken to deal with the kids on her own and being constantly miserable.

HELP!!!!!

Signed, HateTheGirl