What if he goes first?

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I have been talking with my brother about if my DH should die first that I know I would be homeless because my dh has everything in his name. We have been married going on 13years and I am 50y/o.

Can anyone tell me if this happened to you and what you did about it?

I mean my dh has everything

I mean my dh has everything in skids names.

Um, honestly I would start preparing another home for yourself, like another house or something, rent it out to cover the mortgage and property taxes, so that when your DH does pass, you have a place to go to that is solely in your name. Or ask him if he's okay with having it in his will that you can live in it until you pass.

I don't have this problem because everything is in my name (as it should be since I paid for it) and DH has the ability to live in them until he dies, but it will be transferred to our child in the event of my death, but it can't kick his/her father out.

See an attorney ASAP. When

See an attorney ASAP. When did he transfer house to kids?

I think I would be in the

I think I would be in the same position as you. Prior to us getting married I sold my house, left a great job with great benefits and moved in with DH. We combined my assets but he has not put my name on his house. I really didn't have equity in the home I owned since the economy plunge. I foolishly gave away alot of my furniture and things when combining the households so I am left with nothing but our savings.

I am not sure if he would leave anything to me if he goes first he has already told me that everything he has of value will go to his only child. We have only been married about 4 years and maybe he thinks that is not long enough to worry about me...

I have always been a survivor and he knows it but now I am getting older and starting to think of my health, future and the senior years so I do worry about this.

I guess I tend to ignore this subject with DH because he was financially more secure than I was when we met and some of his family have told him I just married him for his money which I did not.

The key is when he changed

The key is when he changed ownership. If it was before the marriage there is not much she can do now. What a creep.

I am facing this from a

I am facing this from a different direction.

My DH was left virtually penniless after his second marriage. (several years before I met him).

I own two homes and have the assets. I certainly want DH to be taken care of but my money must never go SS. He'a drunk. If he inherited it and then died (he already has liver problems) it would go to BM. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.

Everything was put in the

Everything was put in the skids name prior to our marriage. When the skids come to visit they call it there house. I feel like a visitor in my own home. I really would like my own house that belongs to me.

I don't very safe and secure. I am so sorry I married him it was been 13 yrs of unhappiness. Why you ask do I stay mostly because I have severe RA and am worried one day I may not beable to care for myself.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I made my own bed. My only hope is that I help someone else not to make the same mistake.

Yes, I work and put half of my check in saving started about 1 yr ago. I will make my own security.

Thank yall so much for all you do.

I want to say something here

I want to say something here and it not sound unkind...If your husband does not feel the need to provide for you moneywise....what would make you think he would take care of you when you are sick??? If he dies, your SKIDS are liable to put you out faster than you can count 123. Please make sure you are providing for yourself. Don't use the RA to hold yourself back. Use it to inspire yourself.....

Good point I think you are

Good point I think you are right.

good idea

Get to an attorney

Get to an attorney FAST.....Each state is different in what the law dictates. If your husband had all of his assets in his kids name BEFORE he married you, that property could be ironclad and you may not be entitled to any of that.But you should be entitled to all assets attained during your marriage. However, if your husband loves you, I cannot believe he would not amend his will now that he has married you. That is an important discussion you need to have BEFORE you do anything else. How does he expect you to carry on after his death? What does he plan on leaving you? You have to know these answers BEFORE you speak with an attorney. Wills and Assets can be a sticky subject. I know my husband was very upset when I told him I planned to leave my rental property to my sons as I had owned it for 12 years before I married him. However, I had to re-evaluate the situation when I realized we have been married for 9 years and both of us have been making the mortgage and repairs to that property. So he is right to feel that home is part of his retirement as well.....

OP - CONSULT AN ATTORNEY! It

OP - CONSULT AN ATTORNEY! It could also depend on WHEN your husband put the assets in his kids names.

If you are contributing half

If you are contributing half of your check or any of your check for household expenses STOP. It is not your house. Let step kids cover maintenance and upkeep on the house since it is theirs. The remainder of the bills should be able to be taken care of by your husband since he is well enough financially to be giving his assets away. This will allow you to save even more funds for your future.

You didn't really say whether or not your husband has other assets that he has not put in skids names such as a 401k savings, stocks, bonds, etc. you also have not indicated whether he has life insurance and if so, who the beneficiary is. If he has any of these assets, your husband may have you taken care of you through one or more of these investments which will give you money to buy or rent your own residence if something happens to him.

I stopped giving him my check

I stopped giving him my check about a year ago when he refused to put the house in my name. He has a retirement where the wife has to be the receiver.

Oh by the way in my state if

Oh by the way in my state if property was given away within 3years of a death the property is still considered part of the estate. As others have said. Check with an attorney.

Your DH is very cruel to not

Your DH is very cruel to not be considering you and your needs at all. Who cares what he did prior to your marriage? Something has to change now. Can't he take out a life insurance policy with you as the beneficiary? I was in a situation where SO had house in his name yet I was contributing etc and I knew I would be screwed if something happened to SO. So we are just now getting the house put in both of our names and making sure if one of us dies, the house goes to the other. Also we both have life insurance policies, I am the beneficiary of his policy and he and my kids are the beneficiary of mine (that's what he wanted as he earns more money than me).

You HAVE to find a way of protecting yourself or get out of this marriage! You don't sound happy at all.

Good luck

I really love you guys, thank

I really love you guys, thank you. I have started protecting myself saving money and paying off all my bills. Skids will always come first. This all started about 9months ago when I was taking care of this 70y/o woman that was kicked out of her house by skids after her husband of 16yrs died. that is when it clicked and I thought wow that could have been me. I was then put into protection mode.

You need to find out all of

You need to find out all of your husband's assets and then consult an attorney immediately. I got screwed this way. Anyway, have the attorney advise you and then work up the nerve to talk to your husband about why he made that decision and what, if anything, he plans to leave for you. You may as well learn the bad news now rather than later. It will help you prepare to take care of yourself. If you have been helping with mortgage payments, get copies of that before you see the attorney as well. Good luck and keep us posted.

Seesaw, I would have a good

Seesaw, I would have a good talk with your husband and also check out the inheritance laws in your State. I live in Louisiana and my DH and I have wills in place that exclude his daughter. If we didn't have the wills his daughter couldn't force me out of the house but if I were to sell it then I would have to ask her permission first and give her half of the proceeds! I don't think so! Our wills are written so that if he dies first then the house is mine to do with as I please and vice versa. What I do know is that Federal law does not allow for children or stepchildren to be the beneficiary of any kind of retirement funds. These monies have to go to the spouse and that's the law. The only way that can be overridden is by you signing a waiver. My DH tried pulling this on me until I slammed him with what I knew. Do get some legal advice and get this put right! If your DH isn't willing to provide for you then I would kick his butt to the curb - and if you do make sure that half of his 401K any any other retirement funds he has are written into your divorce settlement!

I know you're allowed to do

I know you're allowed to do that, but the spouse has to sign off on it?

It's so sad that many of us

It's so sad that many of us would benefit more from divorce than husbands' death.

^^ lucky for some men out

lucky for some men out there...! }:)

Oh yes, the "What is mine is

Oh yes, the "What is mine is mine, and what is yours in mine." philosophy. My mother ascribes to this philosophy and has told me clearly that what is mine is actually my brides!!!

I for one think that in a death situation the distribution of assets in a second or subsequent marriage should go along the lines of the regulations in play in most no fault divorce states. Assets accrued prior to the marriage are disbursed as the Will of the deceased stipulates and anything accrued during the course of the current marriage goes to the surviving spouse. This includes increased property values, investments, etc..... Any purchases made after the beginning of the marriage (cars, boats, etc...) go to the surviving spouse.

Personal property should also be distributed clearly in the Will of the now deceased partner.

Unless stipulated in a court order Xs should get shit for nothing. They should have gotten theirs during the divorce. If they didn’t… it sucks to be them.

Kids either from a current or prior spawning should be considered as the Will of the deceased indicates but only for assets accrued prior to the current marriage. Right of survivorship of a current spouse should Trump that of spawn regardless of what the spawn biology is.

In my layman's opinion of course.

I agree. If it were the

I agree. If it were the other way around, where the woman earned most of the income for years before she got married should the man inherit everything?

10 years prior to marrying DH , I went through a horrific divorce and had to fight tooth and nail for a year and 1/2. For 10 years I worked my butt off, saving money for retirement, paying the house off. When DH and I married the house was 95% paid for. DH had nothing - not even a stick of furniture. He chose to use the money he got from his divorce to go to school so he had no assets. He also chose to misrepresent himself as far as his assets and earning potential. The first few years of our marriage I paid for all expenses while he paid for SD to go to college. Soon afterward I realized that the marriage might not make it due to continuing trust and skid issues. DH agreed to pay for his part of expenses (which was minimal) and sign a quit claim deed.

About 6 years into the marriage I was seriously contemplating divorce because of the trust issues and SD's behavior had gotten even worse. DH had not saved a dime - he was placing money in SD's bank account every month even though she was making more than he was. I went to a lawyer who said all assets I owned prior to the marriage were mine but that DH had a right to part of any assets accrued during the marriage.

If DH died and I remarried I would not expect the new DH to split everything with me, nor would I split everything I have worked hard for. I DO believe that you are due 1/2 of what DH had earned while you have been married to him. You may not be eligible for any of his retirement but you ARE eligible for Social Security. I'm glad you stopped contributing to a house that the skids are inheriting.

I also think it depends on the circumstances. If the OP winds up raising the skids or being the primary caretaker for her DH she should be compensated for it.

Very good point! Thank you

I would see a lawyer

I would see a lawyer immediately. However in some states a husband cannot write his wife out of a will. She is entitled to a percentage regardless. I also say, get educated about it. I guess he has done his homework, you go and do yours.

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