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Teenagers and cursing

stepper47's picture

Hi, I thought I would take an informal poll to see if I am being a prude. lol. At what age does it feel ok or comfortable to hear your teenagers curse? I was raised in a home that was pretty sheltered, my parents didn't really curse in front of me and My husband and I don't curse much. I am sure our boys 18 do at times, but they don't in front of us. SD14 tested it when she was 12, but I talked to her dad and he corrected her. She hasn't been around a lot lately, but yesterday I noticed she sprinkled them in her conversation. At first I thought maybe it was bc she was talking to her brother and didn't know i was around, but later she did it when talking to her dad. For example, they were talking about food and she said "do I look like an anorexic *itch?". Or describing something with the f bomb. It's casual conversation, but she has also used them to go off on people too. I don't think her dad is correcting it anymore. I think it's disgusting to hear a kid use that language, but I am also pretty reserved.

Veritas's picture

Never? LOL....Yeah...I am 53 so at that age I only did that around friends, never in front of family. I guess things are different now...I hear teens talking to their parents like that and inside, I flinch, but the parents don't seem to care. I doubt everyone feels that nonchalant about it and I still don't care for it.

Rags's picture

Cursing was not a thing in my parents home growing up.... with the occassional frustrated expression of the word "SHIT!". My dad always counseled ups that "Profanity is the crutch of the intellectual cripple." and both my brother and I took that to heart.... at least we did when it public. But... between the two of us as we transitioned into young adulthood and owned a house together, lived together, and went to school together.... all bets were off when we were at home, hiking, camping, commuting.... etc.....

My bride and I followed a similar model raising the Skid. Now the three of us will use some saucy language in a humorous manner (at least one or the other of us thinks its humorous) when we are together.

ETexasMom's picture

No. I do not like cursing. I sub in the high school and even in class tell the kids not to curse.

Acratopotes's picture

hanging my head in shame lol..... I curse like a sailor, my fav word is the F word, cause it can describe so many things and expressions...

On Mars in our tongue, it's part of how we speak, every one, from age 2-100.. the F word comes up allot Blum 3 to describe something.
How ever I grew up in a house hold where you were not allowed to go under the belt. Now again in Martian there's allot of words for below the belt and in English I only know about one vile one....

This is how I raised my son as well, can't tell the snot not suppose to say the F word, but I did teach him, not at school, not in front of elder people, listen how they speak, if they use it like your family, no problem, then talk like you would. The only rule we have about the F word - you may never ever tell some one to eff off... or eff you - then it counts as swearing and it's rude...

Aergia loves going under the belt in normal conversation, really really disgusting and well not my kid not my problem, I did tell SO it's rude and disrespect and he told me but all the kids talk like that.... I simply said, thus if all the kids are using cocaine then it's fine as well, if all the girls fall pregnant age 8 that's fine as well, she's a girl please talk to her, he never did and she's in trouble for telling a teacher you are a c...., agan not my kid not my problem..

Now back to the F word, why it's not swearing..

I'm so F angry - describes how angry
What a F nice day - describes a day and people will know what you are talking about
What the F = astonishment/disappointment
F nice, this is just F nice - sarcasm.

see it's wonderful word if used as descriptive word for a situation Wink

notsurehowtodeal's picture

There was a police show on HBO called The Wire in which 2 detectives examined a crime scene and only used the "F" word. As in your example, each time they said it they meant something different which was conveyed by tone and facial expression. The scene was several minutes long and brilliant.

strugglingSM's picture

My mother is very anti-cursing, so even if I curse in front of her now, she'll correct my language or tell me I need to find other words to use. I once had to work with a woman my mother's age who swore like a sailor at work. When I told my mother about it, she told me I should bring a dictionary to the next meeting and when the woman swore I should pass it across the table to her and suggest she look up some other words to use. LOL! I did not take her advice.

My mother also hates the term "that sucks!" If I say it in front of her, she'll say "you mean, that stinks." So, that is my context for using bad language. When I met my SSs they had just turned 9 and both said "that sucks" all the time. I was so taken aback! One even wrote it in a school assignment - one he selected for sharing at a parent conference. If he was my child, I would have been mortified that he used that language in a school assignment. That was one of the many moments when I said to myself, "they are not my kids and their rude / offensive / age inappropriate behavior does not reflect on me."

mtnwife530's picture

Well, I grew up where all the adults cussed. But I was taught there are certain things adults can do that kids can't, i.e smoke, drink,cuss. That said, the first time my ex mett my grandmother, we were playing cards and she made a move that REALLY screwed up my hand, and I said "Gram," and as she looked over at me, I smiled as I gave her "the bird"! true story,my ex almost fell over! Grandma, politely gave it right right back (in a flying motion) as says " Well, La Te Ta" and we continued the game. But, that was just the way Gram was and she made no apoligies.
I think it depends on the family dyamics and what is acceptable.