Today is the day...I'm leaving him.
Well ladies, I guess it took me a century to reach my breaking point.
I am now 18 weeks pregnant 4.5 months pregnant.
It got worst before it got better.
He went on alcohol and drug binge.
Had a horrible night and decided to go sober.
It's been about 5 weeks of complete bliss.
The first time I have been around him sober.
He really was a completely different man. Loveable, caring, patient, playful.
Well last night he decided to go through my phone and got upset with me because through text message I expressed to my BD that he was a poor excuse because he had not sent our daughter anything all year and up and bought her a kids ipad without asking me what she needed ( I just bought her a kindle)
M SO said I still have feelings for my BD because if I didnt my BD actions would not bother me if I'm in a new relationship.
Well my SO has only bought my daughter sneakers in the very beginning of our relationship as a gift but since then, my mom and my grandmom has pretty much got everything.
He got her a winter coat and spen 100.00 on back to school shopping
I try not to ask for much because his 3 kids are also with us now
& I feel my d should step up to the plate.
anyway my BD asked for the address to ship gifts so I gave it to him. He was making a trip out here but got into a car accident 30 mins after telling me he was planning to come
well my SO thought I sent him the address to come without informing him
and felt i was totally wrong for sending my BD HIS address even for gifts.
So we slept on that, woke up patched it up at noon he cooked a steak (I LOVE HIS STEAKS)
When I realized he did I said you ate a whole steak and didnt give me a bite
well he went OFF on me about nagging and arguing over steak
Then I was braiding his daughters hair was half way through.
He gathered the kids around and asked them if they wanted to go out to eat
He said yall be ready in 30 mins
(never asked me how long b4 I was done)
Well when 30 mins was up he said oh i guess yall not going
because I was still braiding.
I said I have 10 15 mins left
he said cancel we'll go tomorrow, shouted to the kids
So when I was done his daughter told him
and he wen to the store and came back with a bottle. I said y did u buy that he said leave me alone
I waited about 10 mins went to him and said why did you buy that
he said because of you
I tried to explain the steak situation that it was only one steak and I just wish I had a bite cuz i love his steaks
got nowhere.
he said ooo I wish...i said wish what he said nothing
I got very emotional in my room and needed a breather I was hyperventilating
I warmed up the kids food and decided to go to the store
he walked in while I was getting ready and I said I;m going to the store and to pick up my prescription
he said I'll go I said I got it
So I closed the room door and he shouted stay your ass out
at this point I know hes at least tipsy so I ignored I hid his bottle and I left.
I was out about 5 mins and he called asking for his bottle I said idk he said stop playing games
I said I'm your mate and Im supposed to help you...you shouldn't be drinking.
He said help me by getting out of this relationship. I siad you mean that he said yea
"Find a place for you and your kid to go tonight"
That was my breaking point
All I do for OUR kids day in and day out and throw up MY kid in my face.
In this last month I have actually grown to love his kids even the nasty boy from a distance
I treat them as my own.
i would never say that.
I would never separate OUR kids EVER
I was just taking time braiding YOUR daughters hair.
I know he was drinking but he only had 2 or 3 shots at that time
I got my thoughts together and I called a pregnant womans hotline.
Too bad it's so late in the evening the shelters are not open.
I was hysterically crying
when I called
The woman told me this is the best move I will be moved up on the housing list, childcare list, free schooling and a job.
Everything I was worried about.
This is the toughest time in my life
but I will make it positive.
I will be leaving my beautiful furniture and daughters bedroom set behind.
But I know I'll be blessed.
He thinks he has an upper hand on me
when I met him I was making at least$1400.00 a week, had my own 2 bdrm apt, nice car and I was independent
I''ll be leaving with maybe 2 weeks of clothes Ill get all of my daughters clothing and thats it.
I'm calling them early in the morning.
He threw my child in it.
Clearly he does not give two .... about me, my unborn or my child.
I dont think Im telling my parents.
They will talk me out of it and talk me into staying with one of them (both of them are living with other people with mo room for me and my daughter)
and I will wind up sitting at home
I was even thinking emergency abortion pill or adoption.
I have grown to love what is growing in my body.
I also feel like i want no parts of this man.
Idk.
If I dont tell my parents they will not know what choice I make
He will need me before I need
He will need me before I need him. Now he will be a single father of 3.
He has no drivers license.
his record is horrible and we were in the process of getting licensed for his business,
EVERYTHING had to be in my name the LLC the actual license
the business license
the insurance the bond even the property lease. Now who will he trust enough to do that???
The persons license he was doing business under has told him to stop over an argument.
All of the utilities are in my name.
Cable, internet, gas,
how soon should I wait to cut those off....Should I talk to my mother?
I agree with Ditzy. You need
I agree with Ditzy. You need to get out before he turns angry violent against you or your daughter. It's unfortunate that he can't seem to kick his habit for you and his family but it's his choice and he didn't choose you. You should rent a Uhaul and fill it with what you can and store it in a rental storage area. He'll just destroy anything you leave behind so make sure you get your cherished things of sentimental value. Then I would call an cancel all services that are in your name. You're going to need all that money to support you and your daughter for yall to restart from scratch. And don't feel bad that you're taking away from him and his kids, he can sacrifice his addiction to pay his own utilities. It'll be the hardest change you make but you can do this!
Oh and congrats on your bundle, I'm 20 weeks tomorrow!
I dont have a dime to mhy
I dont have a dime to mhy name I wish but lie you guys said Its just material items, Ill get better. Pray they have a room for me in the shelter this morning. I can cancel services but Ill never get the cable and internet boxes, I may just have to pay whatever I owe when I get on my feet. Im scared but I will do this for my children. Ill never allow anyone to mistreat my child.
I don't know your back story
I don't know your back story but... if you plan on turning the utilities off are you able to let the others kids mother know? So she at least KNOWS that her children will be in an unheated non electric no water house? I think if my DH pulled something like that on me I would let my skids mother know. It isn't the kids fault their father is a prick.
Good for you to move out. This will be a tough time and the next few months will be life changing. You will be tested time and time again. Just keep your eyes on the future and get there with your children.
When you get to the shelter,
When you get to the shelter, talk to them about storage. Here they (or social services) will help with moving and storage expenses. They will pay storage fees while the family is in a shelter.
Once you find an apartment, they will also provide you with a voucher for furniture. Don be afraid to ask for help or apply for everything they have to offer. The programs are in place to help you get on your feet.
The mother is on drugs and
The mother is on drugs and recently incarcerated she abandoned them i will tell him before I do it...he just made me steak and potatoes, Im still leaving
Thankyou disney fan didnt now thart
Don't let the steak and
Don't let the steak and potatoes fool you. He's still the same man he was a bit ago, he's just trying to 'sweet talk' you ...at least until the next time he's goes all a** again.
If you're worried about the security and safety of the skids left behind when you go, tell the social workers at the shelter/agencies that are going to be assisting you. They can inform the proper state department about the skids and a possible need for a home investigation to be sure the skids are ok.
The very best of luck to you and your little ones. You're doing the right thing. Get out now and don't look back.
Yeah doesn't matter how
Yeah doesn't matter how amazing that food taste, how he made you feel is a reflection is how he really is. He's sick and he needs help. You can't give him the help he needs. You need to move out of his path before he takes you with him.
don't get weak now.Think
don't get weak now.Think about your baby.
I'm still leaving...it's 7am
I'm still leaving...it's 7am right now I'm waiting until the phone lines open at 9 am. The only thing is if I get a taxi I will have to ask him for the money. Plus he will see me packing my things I decided to tell my mom because I remember she had gone to a shelter after she had me. She said I can stay with her and my grandma until a room opens up at the shelter and she understands I am going because they can provide me with the tools to become independent again. I feel bad leaving without a word because I'm the primary caretaker of his kids I at least want to warn him so he does not step out b4 I leave and the kids will be home alone. They have already been abandoned by their bio mom and I least want to say bye. Idk I can tell him when j figure transportation out I did msg u back @melody
3
So I just leave...he may see
So I just leave...he may see me packing...if not. I just up and go? I think that's worst but hopefully they have transportation and someone will be outside
Okay he is wide awake he
Okay he is wide awake he wakes up at 6 am due to ptsd and wakes up every hour before that. He just asked me if I'm still riding him to look at the commercial property at 1pm...he will pay me. Sike I don't want your money. And have fun joyriding or hiring a driver.
I simply nodded though.
Can your mother/grandmother
Can your mother/grandmother pick you up? Then you can also easily say thsat you're visiting for a few days, figured you'd get some laundry done there.