Ladies, before you marry, know this!
The children that come with the man you marry will-not help take care of you in your old age. You will be on your own after their dad dies, so be sure that your husband has you on his life insurance policy (and ask to see it from time to time as he might change it unbeknownst to you) and everything is spelled out in a will or trust because the children (and possibly other relatives) will come after the money and your stuff--you will be on the street if they had their way.
I watched my skids not visit their bio grandparents as they were dying, I watched as they turned like adders on a very elderly (and "loved") step-grandmother of decades because their BM wanted everything when BM dad/their grandfather died, and I've watched how they neglect their own father/my hubs. Their is zero loyalty to blood family much less steps.
So what I'm trying to say is that it would be better for you to choose a man who also doesn't have children or if you must marry a man with children, discuss the future, discuss what I'm telling you and have an agreement as to how he will take care of you after his death, that is, if he passes before you. You will be no exception to what I've described above.
One more thing. Commit to dating your SO for at least two years before you marry and absolutely be around his children that whole time.
Totally agree
You better set up how you are going to live by YOURSELF . Make sure you get all his money and assets. Then at least SK will try for time to be nice to you. Until they figure out your money is going to your pet
Well that was mean spirited,
Well that was mean spirited, but I'm going to address your comment anyway. If one grows old with someone and gives them their love and life, one is entitled to being monetarily taken care of. It's right and it's been the way it is for centuries. Imagine as an old man without bio children that your wife dies your skids try to pull the rug out from under You! One can only assume you're one of those skids. Wink
My husband bought a home for us in my country
Firstly ss22 has no intentions to move out of our marital home and 5 yrs of mental abuse and torture from him to me and my 2 kids with hubby, ss excuse was "we were strangers and he knows its wrong but he does it and he isn't wrong for it"
sd's were mia for 5 plus years with hubby and 3+ years of us being married and with 2 kids they contact him demanding he pay cs indefinitely to sd now 25 and sd almost 15. They also demanded that same day of contacting him the first time in 5 + years that hubby needed to transfer a home he bought post divorce to skids only.
i told hubby warning signs were flashing bright red for me so he had 2 choices, first he could ensure we were financially provided for so skids or exwife couldn't do anything or we could divorce as i was not going to stay married to a man who hasn't ensured our 2 kids who hadn't started school yet didn't have any savings set aside to provide for them right through school yet hubby was more focussed on a monthly allowance for 2 grown arse adults indefinitely when he has only responsibilities for minor kids.
his retirement account and life insurance is allocated to me because hubby figured if anything happened that our kids would be the only minor kids and would require more financial upkeep compared to skids who would all be adults...
my own husband doesn't trust his kids to do the right thing. they remind him how we are strangers and aren't family, they have shown their true colours. My husband even said that in his old age they wouldn't give a shit anout him but would fake crying at the funeral and demand their inheritance rights.
It's good your husband sees
It's good your husband sees through all the ugliness to care for you. What ingrates they all are.
I have made my will, and
I have made my will, and everything will go to my two adult sons.
If I ever enter into another relationship, I will make sure there is a water tight pre nup, and a codicil to my will, so that nobody can challenge it.
What's mine is mine, and will go to my boys.
Same for me, i want
Same for me, i want everything i leave to go to my son. In my state at least 1/3 of your estate has to go to your spouse, you can't disinherit a spouse. I guess a prenup would avoid that but honestly it's easier to just not get married at this stage of the game. I'm in my early to mid 50's. NO WAY IN HELL do i want any of my $$ to go to my SO and end up in his kids grubbing hands.
I did however tell my SO if something happens and he's terminally ill and requires a lot of care from me, yes we're getting married. I trust marital law more than a will he could tear up/change in a fit of guilty daddy guilt. We've been together 18 years and at least if we were married I'd get half. If he doesn't want to do that then one of his kids can take care of him (ha ha).
My SO's mother moved in with
My SO's mother moved in with her boyfriend. Supposedly he went to an attorney and gave her survivor rights to his house so she wouldn't end up homeless if something happened to him.
Didn't do any good. He ended up going in a nursing home and his 3 adult daughters sent her a letter saying she had 60 days to get out.
Typical.