Karma feels good!
I have two stepchildren. Stepson 26, stepdaughter 27. Met them when they were 10 and 11. We were all very close up until last year. I opened my home and my heart to them from day one. Have been incredibly kind and above and beyond generous with my own money. I have been there for them emotionally every step of the way. They turned into absolute monsters last year when my husband became ill and needed a liver transplant. They were of no support while he was getting sicker and sicker and came close to death. When he received the miracle transplant just in time, they never came to the hospital by myself for the 13 hour surgery while they sent a few texts asking if there was any news. Stepson stole $4500 from us over 6 weeks while my husband was lying on a ventilator fighting for his life. My step daughter showed up at the hospital a whopping one time in three months to see him and he wasn't even conscious, he was in a coma. She was busy posting on Facebook every other day as if she were by his bedside, but she was simply taking the information I was giving her and putting it in her own words. Instead she was on vacation with her boyfriend and out partying. When he got home from the hospital life was very difficult. I have spent the last year nursing him back to health. The first eight months were harder than I can ever explain. He was incredibly weak, lost 60 pounds and all is muscle and used a walker. He fell 2 times due to weakness and two times had to be flown back to the hospital with bleeding on the brain. I reached out to those kids to plead to them to please offer me some help and support as I couldn't do it alone and they completely ignored me. They knew I had been taken to the hospital myself due to extreme exhaustion and anxiety. They completely turned their backs. Needless to say I finally woke up and completely disengaged from them. Now that husband is a little bit better and able to get around and go places, he is free to see them on his own but they are not welcome in my house. I don't think they even noticed that I disengaged because they are so self-centered. But it is so funny they both asked him very recently if I am still planning on having the Christmas party I have every year. Yes, I used around run around like a complete idiot, for the last 13 years, buying tons of gifts, catering to them, homemade cooking, making my husband look good to them while I did all the work. So here they are wondering when the party is, LOL. Yes I'm having the party but they are absolutely not invited. Has been told them that they ruined their relationship with me and until or unless they fix it it will be a long time before were are ever together again. He will have to see them on his own away from our home. Out of the blue after this conversation with them, I get a message from my stepdaughter after not seeing her in almost a year and a half. She leaves me a message that she's been doing a lot of thinking and that with the holidays coming she thinks we should talk. What a joke!!!! They just want to be part of the joyous occasions and now that the hard work with their dad is done they think they can swoop in and pretend nothing ever happened. They don't want to be part of any of the hard stuff just the fun stuff. Well that isn't going to happen. I'm sure my husband would absolutely love it if I swept everything under the rug, Pretended nothing happened I just went on being happy little stepmom like I used to be. Over my dead body. I am a different person after all I have been through! I told him that if by this time next year they have proven to me by their actions, not a stupid phone call, that they are decent human beings and are deserving of having me in their lives maybe they'll be invited. I'm not holding my breath and a much happier without them in my life, never again will I allow them to hurt or disappoint me!
Thank you, yes, he knows he
Thank you, yes, he knows he could never get by without me. But at the same time he's a wimp when it comes to his kids. I'd be heartbroken if I had children and they treated me that way. His son knew he was not the same blood type so he was off the hook, and his daughter made a big declaration on Facebook when he was first put on the transplant list that she was going to be a donor, what a joke. She never even had her blood type checked. Unfortunately I could not either because I found out right away I was not a match but we were very lucky that the donor became available, God bless his soul. Yes I try to not even think about them it's just amazing that they think they can swoop back in after being such incredible creeps
fathers are like this all the
fathers are like this all the time. they put the skids ahead of you and then when the going gets tough the skids are no where to be seen.
^^This!^^
^^This!^^
I would NEVER pressure him to
I would NEVER pressure him to disengage from his children, that was a choice I made for me. I just won't be a doormat for people who steal from me and have no regard for my well being whatsoever. Gosh, I remember when my dad was ill, I was there to help,my step mother every step of the way. I was raised differently I suppose. DH can see him them all he wants, I encourage him to do so, it will just have to be elsewhere though. I support our household 100% and it was my home before we got married. I do not feel badly about not allowing them here. For one, his son is a thief and I don't trust him and I have no relationship with them so they should have no reason to want to be in my home. They are adults, not children and I do believe they had an obligation to be there for their father and for me for tnat matter. Gosh, maybe visit once a week, put in a phone call just to see if I was holding up, you know, the stuff normal people do. Hard to believe his daughter has actually called to ask for money recently! She knows he's broke and I'm the sole supporter of the household and have been for years. I would so much as buy either of them a stick of gum! Thanks everyone.
Ps, my heart goes out to you.
Ps, my heart goes out to you. I am so very sorry for the loss of your children.
Guys, I did return her call,
Guys, I did return her call, a few days after she called me. She hasn't called back. I will hear her out, if she calls again. I like the idea of telling her I'm busy until it's convenient for me. That's just my point too, I doubt there's any real sincerity behind it, but we'll see!!
Yeah, it will be a cold day
Yeah, it will be a cold day in hell before SS is ever in my presence. What he did is awful. Took debit card and made 26 withdrawals while we were at our most vulnerable. I threaded to call police but the doormat that I was chose to forgive him as long as he came to us with a repayment plan. He said he'd pay 200 a month which we accepted. Of course it will take forever but at least it was something. Made a few payments on his own and then ever since then my husband has had to nag him for it. The final straw for me was over the summer when he said no he's not gonna make the payment because he decided to take a vacation to Arizona since he worked all summer without a break!! That was it for me. I wish this kid was sitting in a jail cell for what he did! If SD was sincere she would've called back by now. I truly believe she misses the gifts and money I always got her and wants to be a part of the fun stuff. I doubt I'll even hear an apology. I called her back simply because it was the right thing to do and I will hear her out, but frankly I'm a lot happier with out them in the picture and I doubt she'll ever call again. I'm sure she got mad when it took me a few days to return her call. I guess she thinks after year and a half I should drop everything I was doing and run to her.
So sad, your SS is a true low
So sad, your SS is a true low life. Has he paid anymore on the money he stoled and did you all get it in writing on the payment plan? A thief will say anything when they get busted. You should have done him a favor and called the police.
He's paid about 1/4 and does
He's paid about 1/4 and does it when he feels like it. Unfortunately I believed his crying crap when he was oh so sorry after getting caught. He acted sincere so I didn't call the cops and allowed him to make a verbal agreement. I was so consumed with my husband at the time, I wish I had gotten it in writing. The kid is a real jerk, thinks the world owes him!
His mother defends everything they do and has raised them both to believe any small crumbs they throw their father, he's lucky to get. She's the one who left him, married a complete jerk who treats her kids like dirt so the easy way out is to blame my husband for everything, no matter how ridiculous. I even said to her one time, "I guess you're bad choice in husbands is his fault too right?"
this always happened with the
this always happened with the skids. they would ignore their father for months on end (bm took them out of state) and pout. the sap always called them and leave pathetic voice mails, "um this is dad. are you ok? miss you sweetums. give me a call ok?" then around christmas or birthdays they would call and suck up for gifts. of course he opened his wallet.
Thanks for your support
Thanks for your support everyone. I really appreciate it. I knew there was no sincerity behind it. She never returned the call, after my returning her original call. I want no parts of it. The truth is, I will never forget the hurt they caused me, they don't deserve me in their life. I appreciate all your encouraging comments! Thank goodness for this site !!
I'm with you skeeter!
I'm with you skeeter!
Sounds like you have had your
Sounds like you have had your hands very full for a very long time. I cannot imagine your step children on wanting to be of more help or make visits to their dad. They must be very selfish children. If this was my husband my daughters (his step daughters) would certainly be doing what they could but I could see his own sons being like your husband's children. The boys a very selfish, self centered, play the victim, think we have wronged them and do not make contact with their dad even now.