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Spousal advice

tougher than I thought's picture

My W and I have been married for 3 years now. She has 2 boys 10 and 7, I have a son 11 that lives with his BM and comes to our house 2 weekends a month and we have a son together who is 3. My wife is not a communicator when it comes to matters that involve issues with the kids or things of that nature. She has never been able to help me understand the personalities of my step kids or how I should deal with them on certain things. I have ask her for her help on these matters and it has just led to argument. She feels like I should be able to figure it out on my own (you’re a big boy attitude). This is her style in other areas of our relationship as well. I’m very stressed in my life right now and feel very alone when it comes to her. I’ve talked to her several times about it and now it has caused animosity between us. We have tried counseling and have not had a lot of results. I’m struggling with should I stay or go??? It does not seem like she works hard at our relationship nor the relationship with my 11 year old son. HELP??

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chaoticsteplife's picture

gwinters
That is a hard one...she sounds like a very independant woman wich is not a bad thing in itself but I think she needs to get more involved with your bonding and dealing with the skids.
You tried talking with her, then counseling, and still no results...
I don't know how and to what extent you have expressed your need to get her input on this issue but maybe you need to give it another shot...
Tell her how you feel, tell her about the isolation you feel and how this is affecting your relationship with her.
Try and make it smooth so she doesn't get defensive and of course, you need to make sure you don't make her feel like she is responsible for you and has to show you every little thing.
Maybe try asking her how she does it with them and so then she can share her own experience with you...
I don't know, I don't have much more for you except that I hope it works out and that you can feel less stressed and isolated.
Chaotic