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Smirk on my face

Stpmum11's picture

Stepmoms: Do any of you get gratification that your bio kids are more attractive then your skids? My bd1 is stopped and stared at wherever I take her. I know every mother will think their child is beautiful, but my daughter gets told shes pretty wherever she goes. When I'm out with my ss5 and my bd1 people will give her tons of attention and they feel like they HAVE to compliment my skid, I guess so he won't be left out. I guess them thinking that he is my bio son and they don't want to offend me by not complimenting him too lol. I think I just get satisfaction out of knowing that me and dh produced shall I say a "prettier product" than BM.

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SW2613's picture

We haven't had our own kids yet, but considering that SS is his "mother"'s unfortunate rosacea faced twin our kids should be much cuter. They are so identical and SS has none of my husbands features that I even thought he may not be the father. One day I did discover that they do share weird double jointed thumb thing that my brother-in-law has too. I sure as hell know I will be eating up all the compliments that my kids will be getting. I was a baby and young child that would always be stopped and complimented (boy have things changed!), so I hope my kids will get some of that cuteness.

People make comments about SS7 being cute, but you can tell it's just them trying to be nice or just commenting on his personality which does make him cute in a way. Even my husband's family doesn't really seem to think he is cute (some have even told me as much). None of them really seem happy to get pictures of him lol. His latest thing is that when he is posing for pictures it looks likes he's doing a impression of our bulldog's underbite or something. It is quite unfortunate looking. His baseball pictures that I paid close to $100 for look terrible with whatever the hell he is doing with his mouth.

briarmommy's picture

I think its natural to want your child to be the better looking or smarter child, thats just natural if your a BM or a Stepmom. My daughter is a lot more attractive then my SS, like yours people stop to talk about how beautiful she is how she seems to have such a sweet disposition(never cries or gets upset in a store, never) No one ever stops for SS8, my DH even commented when our daughter was younger that it was wierd no one ever came up in stores and restaurants to say how cute SS was but it happens with our daughter every time we go out.

I do feel bad sometimes though for SS because people will stop and comment on my daughter and talk to her and sometimes they just ignore SS completly. Also my Niece and older nephew look identical to me and my daughter, people think they our mine all the time. So when they go out together people comment on them constently and SS is left out. It doesn't help that even with a tall father SS is short for his age and my niece, nephew, and daughter are all really tall for there ages, tall and trim. Of course all strawberry blond, blue eyed and have perfect fair skin, really not fair for SS to have to be around them when he looks like his mother.

Disneyfan's picture

I will never do that.
DF's ex did. Not only did she smirk, she laughed at and talked about his oldest daughter's weight. (She's a big girl.) DF&ex have 2 girls. A skinny 4 year old and a 138pound 6 year old. Karma,karma,karma

briarmommy's picture

I dont' think the poster or any of the commenters would ever say these things out loud let alone to the children. Its more of just an inner pride and motherly affection that your child is the most attractive or talented. Thats human nature, its like watching your kid play a sport and even though you would never say it to anyone you sit there and think wow, my kid is the best on the field. I really don't believe any of us would latugh and talk about a childs weight to anyone else. I'm not attacking you I just am hoping that you will see this for what it is, not an attack on children.

Stpmum11's picture

@SW2613
My ss5 also looks nothing like my dh. So much so that he got a paternity test! Maybe that's why I don't find him as cute as I would like to, he looks just like his mother. Very unfortunate Sad

shielded2009's picture

This happens all the time with DS...SD is cute...but an average looking kid...but her attitude makes her ugly, actually...and people don't gravitate to her...

DS on the other hand is gorgeous...and I'm not just saying that because he's my baby...We get stopped all the time by people of all races who talk about how beautiful he is, and he's even done some baby modeling...He's JUST stopped being mistaken for a girl (he's almost 2). He's got really big, pretty eyes and long eye lashes...

When we're in public, and SD is with us, and people are oogling over DS, she usually steps between them in a "Hey look at me!" fashion...It's sad...and honestly, most people just double take and keep on about their business...Some actually "get it" and go ahead and say something about her, but not usually...

I see it getting worse as DS gets older, and SD starts looking more and more like her mother...I'm not trying to be mean, but her mother is very unattractive...She has this long snout like a dog, and SD face is changing into that as she gets older...

Because SD looks a lot better than her mother, BM has put A LOT into SD looks...So SD talks about how pretty she is all the time...I always tell her that looks are nothing...how you treat people and what's in your head is more important...I tell her that I was born pretty, but my mother didn't focus on that...She always told us that beauty is only skin deep...What's inside your head and heart means more...I usually get blank stares from her when I say that...

AliceP's picture

SD 10 is a pretty little red head very stylish and feminin, sd9 is heavy has swelling in her face constantly has a pissy look all the time. Her mother always chops her hair off. My BD4 has gotten attention her whole life with "she should model, she should be on tv" blah blah, comments everytime we walk out the door. BD3 looks exactly like her with straight brown hair instead of thick blond curls, so I dress them like twins almost everyday so that they immediatly get the same amount of attention. and my little one doesnn't develope a complex or jelousy of her big sissy. Mine have personality plus, the other two are kind of dull.

newbiemommy's picture

I do. My daughter is very pretty and has a very happy sweet temper. People stop me to tell me how cute she is. Not saying aren't cute too but even her daddy has admitted to me shes the best looking.