I have one! we were just talking and having fun when my oldest ss then about 14 maybe said out of the blue "dad I bet you dreaded 'happy time' with mom" I thought I was going to pee my pants laughing so hard. }:)

I was swinging on a tire swing with my SD and she commented that her mommy never did stuff like this with her. I was so stunned I didn't know what to say! I just said I'm sorry honey... I wanted to cry right there!

LOL just last weekend ss10 was telling us yet another mummy dearest story.

He said that the dog sleeps with mummy and that she complains every morning that the dog tries to kick her out of the bed....

Smart doggy was all OH and I could think, we tried so very hard not to laugh our heads off -was a monumental effort!!

Skid1 came home from a weekend at BM's talking about how cool it is that mom gets free money from the government to buy food, etc, etc. FDH just looked at him and said, "That's called food stamps, skid1." Skid1 replied "Oh. Why does she brag about it then like she won some kind of prize?" No response to that one, lol.

FDH and I are pretty athletic, and we like to run road races and enter other types of athletic competitions. There was a zombie run coming up that seemed kind of cool, so we were thinking about entering. Skids must have mentioned it to BM, who said she was going to enter it too. Skid1 told her "Mom, forget about it. You're not an athlete. Leave the athletics to dad and Queen." I'd have paid money to have seen her face on that one!

Skid2 told me his mommy hates me. I told him I don't hate her, because she made him, and he's really special to me. He said "Well you SHOULD hate her. It's only fair - if someone hates you, you have every right to hate them right back!"

Out of the mouths of babes, as they say!

I am ROFL at these!

Here are some from my house:

Me: "What are some of your favorite movies?"
SD9: "Blair Witch Project, Saw, Paranormal Activity, American Horror Story"
Me: "You've seen these?!?"
SD9: "Yea. We saw them at the movies when they came out.
SS11: "I didn't want to go but mom made me"

SD9: "I love how Austailian boys talk?"
Me: "How do you know how Austrailian boys talk?"
SD9: "Because Mom talks to them on Skype"

SD9: "Are you and my mom enemies?"
Me: "I don't think so. Why would you ask that."
SD9: (after a thoughtful pause) "Well maybe ya'll are frenemies. You know, friends that hate each other."

It's amazing what Skids will say out loud. Makes me watch every little thing I do around them.

That she lost weight. Um, taking a big dump does not count as weight loss.

The latest dressdown that my SS did on his Dad is here:
http://www.steptalk.org/node/165228

Before that, SS told me that his Dad gave him this impromptu lesson on sex ed and how guys have a tendency to fall for any girl that gives them attention.

“Remember son, when you are out to sea in rough weather, any port of call looks good.”

I can't specifically give you what she said, but one of the funniest things was SD (who was about 9 at the time) telling us how BM reacted when she gave her my new insurance cards (since DH and I had got married with no notice to BM or skids and the cards had my new married name on them). I had to really fight to keep my face neutral during THAT story!! Especially when SD was doing a pretty good impression of her pissed off mother AND smiling about it herself!

Or when SD was going to see a psychiatrist because (according to BM) she missed her daddy so much and was having a hard time adjusting to ME in her life. DH asked SD: "I heard you are seeing Dr. X. Are you sad because mommy & daddy aren't together anymore and you have to come out here to see me?"
SD: "No, I LIKE coming to visit you and misSTEP!"
DH: "Um...okay. Well, are you sad because you don't get to see me as often."
SD: "Yeah...but we still get to see you."
DH: "Is there anything you are sad or upset about?"
SD: "Mom got rid of the new kitten she got for us."
DH: "Oh, that's too bad. I'm sure she had a good reason to have to get rid of it."
SD: "She said the litterbox smelled."
DH: "Hmmm. Well, why do you go to see Dr X now?"
SD: "Ummmm. I don't know. I go because mom MAKES me!"

The last thing was something that I heard SD tell her BM on the phone. I don't know exactly what BM said although I can about guess. SD to BM: "Well, I'm DAD'S daughter, TOO!" I could have taken her to get that phrase tattooed on her right then and there!!

Some of these are so funny!

My girl skids have said so many things about BM. However to hear them talk about their own mother like that, only makes me realize what kind of kids they are. If they are going to talk about their own mother and reveal her personal business to ME of all people, they aren't that nice of people.

They have commented on BM's weight, looks, how she dresses, how she is lazy, the stupid guys that she dates.

They have told me stuff that is embarrasing to their mom- told me about her dildo stash ( :sick: ), how she misses FDH and how handy he is, how she asks the skids to sneak food from our house for their house.

I usually tune them out.

One day, when SD was still 3.. possibly just had turned 4, I was taking her to the bathroom, we were on our way to MIL/FIL's house 14 hours away and at a rest area. She asked me to go in the handicap stall and put a seat cover on the toilet, then asked me to turn around so she could peepee.

As I am turned around, she asks me "Queen, if you had to peepee would I have to turn around?"

"Well, I would take you back out to daddy then I would go peepee"

"Mommy asks me to turn around when she peepees. I think because she has a lot of hair down there. Like A LOT. Like you could comb it. Like you could put it in a ponytail. But she doesn't comb it or brush it. It's just tangly."

all in really loud, high pitched little girl talk. The bathroom was full of women.

So many things...

SD: I only like dinners that come out of a box, like my moms.
Me: What dinners come out of a box?
SD: Suddenly Salad.

I have a large chest (DD's) curvy size 4. Bio mom is flat, man's body.
SD: Your swimsuit top is way bigger than my moms.

SD: My mom says your boobies aren't real. I told her they are because I saw the skin when we went swimming.

(I think seeing a womanly figure in a swimsuit was eye opening ((haha)) for SD only having butchmom her whole life)

SD: My mom says she doesn't understand why everyone says you are so pretty.
Me: Hand me my hair spray, today she is gunna understand!