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Enough Already

Skidmom1's picture

Submitted by Skidmom1 on Wed, 04/24/2013 - 12:54pm

First let me state that I am blessed to have a good relationship with my SD13. She is having terrible issues with her BM. BM has always lied to her about things with her father and generally tried to keep them apart. SD13 is now old enough to see through the lies/mess and we are trying to get the parenting time split 50/50 so that SD13 isn't with her mom as much.

The problem is I feel like all my DH and I do is talk about his daughter and his crazy ex. It's drama all the time. SD13 is calling all the time crying and the BM is texting all the time. I am completely supportive of moving the parenting time to 50/50 and I have talked to SD13 countless times trying to calm her down and just reassure her how much is loved, but at the same time I am starting to resent HOW MUCH we talk about it. I just want to feel that sometimes I am married without always having to be the cheerleader/supporter/counselor all the time. I know this sounds selfish, but every once in a while it would be nice to have to deal with the drama of the day. Has any one else experienced this????

Comments

tryingmom's picture

Submitted by tryingmom on Wed, 04/24/2013 - 1:58pm

13 year old boys come with their drama too. I really can't wait until SS13 sees through BM's BS. We get inklings of dawn breaking but then he tucks back in and doesn't see light. Someday we are going to be dealing with a kid that finally realizes that BM has lied and manipulated him, it is not going to be pretty.

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Wed, 04/24/2013 - 2:52pm

Get her into therapy and let a counselor deal with it. They will also teach her how to process and deal with change in her life. It can't hurt her.

As for BM, stop responding to the texts. I can't stress this enough. Texts are so invasive and distracting. They are so quick and easy to just check "real quick" .. but when sent from the wrong person or about a sore subject, they can easily destroy a mood for an entire day. Until DH could get BM to only email him, he would turn his phone for hours on end to avoid her texts.

Tell DH how you feel. Maybe if you make some alone time for just the two of you .. no phones, no texting, no emails .. you'll feel more recharged and less outcasted. DH and I do a date night at least every 2 weeks (more lately); and weekend getaway trips at least 2x a year. It helps us focus on us without any drama. The skids DO survive without us Wink

I find myself in your same situation often .. I take on so much of the burden and stress of the situation and it's exhausting. YOU have to focus on YOU, and if necessary, redirect DH's focus too Smile Everyone else is focused on the custody drama and themselves.