DH has been hit with reality
I gave DH his share of bills since we are getting paid this week. Now he is all down in the mouth because he won't have much money left. It wasn't an different when our finances were joint. We didn't have much left over but he didn't see that. I did. All of the sudden he's shocked by it and has to get used to having it all split? It's more like he has to get used to being an adult.
He wanted to go see Puke so he thought he could save up some money from the next couple of checks to pay for it but isn't so sure that's possible now. We never had the money saved up to do that. It went on the CC and we paid it off.
It's like he thinks I have all this extra money I'm denying him which I don't because I have things to pay off that he doesn't. No I just don't blow through my money like he did. It was always me keep things in check so we didn't go in the hole.
I'm just keeping my mouth shut and staying clear of him.
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Isn't it amazing when they
Isn't it amazing when they have to face reality? LOL
We just went through this with an employee who owes CS. He didn't believe that we had paid him as much as we had. He's a contractor and was paid by auto debit weekly. He thought he'd made aprox $20K, in reality he'd made over $45K and that's what his CS was based on.
He actually accused me of lying about his income in court! I had provided him and the courts with a tax form with the total amount as well as with copies of each auto payment.
He would go out every weekend and blow more than half of his pay at the bar. He didn't understand how he could have made so much money and have nothing to show for it!!
Insane.
GOOD. FOR. YOU! You stopped
GOOD. FOR. YOU!
You stopped talking, and let him burn his hand on the stove. I had to do the same. Stay strong.
Yeah, he kept asking me what
Yeah, he kept asking me what was wrong and I would just say I was giving him his space. Wasn't long and he was kissing my a$$.
Funny how the skids flee once
Funny how the skids flee once the hand outs stop. Sooooo then these dads WANT the buy their "love" type of one way street "relationship" from their offspring?
Yep we SMs need to bring these men back to reality!)
Have a feeling DH said
Have a feeling DH said something to Puke about coming to see her soon or buying her something and now he's not sure he'll have the money. He is notorious for telling he'll do something and then I'd have to tell him we don't have the money. Now he see's that first hand.
Priceless...
It not easy because I do feel
It not easy because I do feel a little bad because he is struggling. Then I think that I did this at the perfect time with these trips he wants to take to see her and the possibility of him helping to buy and maintain a car for her.
I think he resents me right now for splitting. Maybe some day he'll get it.
With her new job she
With her new job she shouldn't need daddy's money, right?? She'll blow through her money and ask DH for more.
My DH does this, too. It's
My DH does this, too. It's been getting better since I started insisting on separate accounts, us both paying into the household account each month...and monthly budget meetings to see our upcoming bills / expenses. Now he can see with his own eyes when he's not contributing and I have to pick up the slack...and what our expenses actually are. I just got tired of my contribution being taken for granted...assumed...invisible in the mushiness of the joint checking account. I always FELT like I was contributing more and spending less (even before considering skid spending), but now I can see it in black-and-white, and so can DH.
Most recent one was that DH told SD to get off work this past weekend so that we could go to see a friend in a play 3 hours away. Of course, SD is 15 and doesn't want to go see some artsy play on the weekend. Instead of telling her she didn't have to go...he bribed her with bringing a friend. I pitched an absolute fit when he told me on Wednesday night (event on Saturday). Tickets to this thing are $30 a piece...plus we'd be getting at least lunch and dinner out...for FOUR people. That's at least $300...plus gas. I tried to reason with him about how teens really don't want to see esoteric plays and it wouldn't be fun for them...they should just stay at our house and hang out and we should go. His response: "SD and I have already worked it out..."
That's when I lost it. UNWORK it out, then. You don't get to make unilateral decisions about how we spend "our" money...or who we take with us on a day trip. And BTW, the money in our household account right now is "our" money, but I'm the only one who's contributed my half of the March budget so far...so I get a say. And I say NO. No, no, no. I refuse to waste my hard-earned money like this. I felt bad bringing up the money. Usually I do everything I can to tiptoe around DH's ego when it comes to finances and providing. I shouldn't, but I do...because he gets so down when I bring it up. It's a struggle to even maintain the beginning of the month budget meeting. But I was just...feeling taken advantage of and totally fed up. I mean, who does this kind of thing? Who looks at the budget one week and knows in no uncertain terms that we don't have enough to cover our basic expenses for the month yet and we need to hustle...and then invites two teen girls on a work / day trip that they don't even want to go on the very next week? Delusional Disney Dads...that's who.
So...DH pouted for a while and then nobody went to the play. And everyone was happier for it.
I bet he's sorry he asked you
I bet he's sorry he asked you to hide your tablet. Good for you for sticking through separating finances.
I'm sure he's sorry for doing
I'm sure he's sorry for doing or letting things happen to me. It's like I say, if you treat me good, I'll do anything for you. If not, you're SOL.