...wont make the nightmares go away, it will make them worse and nm's about them being togetehr will replace the ones where u hurt her. aand yes, if u leave she will win.

please give more details to your situation, like how she has interfered in your life. we may have a similar situation and i can offer some more advice.

best of luck, keep in touch

I don't know too much about it... just read things here and there...

One of the things that I did read that sticks out in my mind about this is that they say to go to bed thinking of a good resolution to the dream that is troubling you. So whatever it is that would make you happy... just let your mind wander off in that direction. You and DH winning the lottery and buying BM out of your life..... or skids growing up and BM finding out what a complete loser she is.... Whatever!! Let your mind run free and make sure it's a happy ending for you.

They say it works!!

I think Evilbitchstepmom would like more details as to how BM has interfered in your life as well, because with advice you may not feel so helpless. I'm guessing (not too hard here!!) that hitting BM in your dream is your only way of letting out your frustration. But you aren't really helpless. So... EBSM08 is right... if you know how BM has interfered in your life and can take steps to alleviate it, some of that stress may go away as well.

Good luck!! Let us know how it works out!!

One thing that I have found helps is NOT letting myself lie awake thinking of every possible thing that I would like to say to her, or ways that she has yet to interefere with my life that she could, or things that I would do if they were legal...you get the point. The more control you have over your own mind to not let yourself dwell on these things, the less likely they are to plague you in your sleep.

Something else that helps if for you to be HAPPY in your relationship. Yes you love FH, but are you happy? If your answer to that question is, "I would be happy if it wasn't for BM," then NO you are not happy. You can love him and want to make it work as much as you want, but you have to be more in love with him and happy with the relationship than the amount that BM bothers you. One has to outweigh the other. If you are lying awake at night because you're having nightmares about BM, then she is outweighing your relationship happiness at the moment. If you can find ways for your relationship to overpower the influence she has in your life, and let her become little more than a nagging fly that you occasionally swat at and are annoyed by, she won't have this power over your mind anymore.

How you get to that point, I don't know. Everyone is different, every relationship is different. But I do wish you luck and hope that things get better for you soon.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

I have had a dream about BM! She's never stepped foot in our house and I've only seen her face to face a few time, and always civil when we do... I dreamed she walked in our door and I burst into the room, screaming at her to never step foot in our house, and actually pushed her out the door. I have a lot of anger towards her, but luckily that was the only dream towards her. Most of my nightmares are due to the SK's that drive me crazy... I try not to eat late at night... that seems to help... Good luck... you're not alone!

I have had tremendous struggles in the area. The only way to get free of this is to forgive her. That doesn't mean that what she did was right or that she is not accountable or won't have consequences for her behaviour. It just means that you can get free and move on.

I am a lot less angry that I was a few weeks ago. It really helped to have all these great ladies to give me advice and support me. It was all so injust!!!! I did NOTHING wrong! All I did was marry the man she discarded and she is pissed because her free ride is over.

Once I became less angry, I realized I was very sad at the loss of the hope of a happy family with DH (not constant problems with skids) and fearful about my place in my home (can she usurp my rightful postion as wife?) and feeling emotionally unsafe in my own household do to hateful skids brainwashed by BM.

DH husband and I are talking a lot and I am feeling better. We have removed her from our life as much as possible and dealt with PAS skids as best we can. It's been a long hard road but things are getting better.

Hang in there. She must really have been a jerk to upset you so much you are dreaming about her. Sorry, sending hugs your way from one who has been there.

"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"