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O/T ITS MY F*#$@ING WEDDING, NOT YOURS!!!

MamaFox's picture

BLARRRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

5 years ago I was engaged to my ex. I also won a contest for a free wedding dress. I still have that fucking dress.

It's a huge formal ballgown with beading and a train longer than I am tall.

SO NOT MY STYLE.

I have been harped on by EVERYONE including FDH about what a pretty and expensive and amazing dress it is.

I dont want to wear it. I dont want to wear a dress meant for a different wedding.

I DONT WANT THAT FUCKING THING!

"Well it's cheaper to just wear that, it's pretty and never been worn except at fittings, why not wear it anyway?"

Why can't I just say "Because I dont want it"

Why is that not enough of an answer? The dress I want is only $300 anyway. And it's doesn't need crinolines and like corsets and foundation garments to wear it either! I'm spending more on the damn foundation garments then I would on the other dress!

Oh oh...and his family...

Them"What colors are you picking?"

Me: "Colors? For what? Flowers have color..what? I dont...Why? Um, White? Thats a color right?"

Them" "!@#$%^^& OMFGASDFGHJKL WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT HAVE COLORS?!"

Me: "White is a color! The flowers are garden flowes, so like they are all different colors?"

Them "Well do you have a theme?"

Me: "Wedding is a theme?!"

Them *head explodes*

And my Mom, god love her...I apparently need like 4 bridesmaids and three flower girls and a partridge wrapped in an aisle runner.

FDH AND I ARE PAYING FOR 90% OF THIS SHIT YOU ASSHOLES!

I DONT WANT FLOWER GIRLS! I DONT WANT ANY OF THAT!!!

I want FDH, His oldest son as his best man, the youngest as a groomsman. Myself, my best girlfriend, and my twin as bridesmaids.

Thats it. The chapel I found is so small 8zillion attendants would crowd it so bad and it would just look icky I think.

And really...who the HELL keeps those chozkey little wedding favors anyway?

Comments

tiny kitten's picture

I'll be honest... I like the wedding favours. I think they're cute.
But, that's me. It's your wedding. Tell them to bugger off. Get YOUR dream dress. Do what YOU GUYS want.
This fancy-pants wedding dress that you don't want that they're harping on about. Tell them if they like it so much, you'll sell it to them Blum 3

MamaFox's picture

Oh and Dtzy and the others...I'm still getting a tutu dress for my Hen's Night party. Because...Fuck it. I want a tutu.

Tuff Noogies's picture

bravo!

Pinki3663's picture

The only advice I can give you is to tell you to go with your heart on this. If you want garden flowers then have garden flowers. If you want 4 people there then only invite the 4 people. DO NOT let ANYONE make you feel guilty. My day was a complete disaster because I let people guilt me and make me feel like a terrible person. The minute my DH and I got home I broke down crying and told him we needed to do it again the way I wanted in the first place. He agrees but it won't be for some time. In the mean time I try to forget that day even happened the way it did.

Starla's picture

They should be reminded who's wedding day it is. When I was making plans for my wedding, I became annoyed at being told what I should wear/do and I threw a pair of jeans on and a skull shirt on. My best friend who wasn't pushing matters had talked sense into me as I was getting ready so I ended up only changing shirts. As for your fiance, you could gently tell him that you won't say "I do" if your not happy with the wedding plans and wedding dress. Best of luck to you. Smile

FTMandSM's picture

Weddings are so difficult....My SO and I just got engaged last week. HIs mom and sister are already trying to plan the damn thing. I was married once before, so I know to just smile and nod and then do my own thing. Plus, I still have to talk to an attorney and find out about CS etc before we even tie the knot. So we may have to wait 15 years before we say I Do. Wink Take it all with a grain of salt and then do whatever you want.

My exH's mom actually cried because we didn't want to invite someone....lol...

simifan's picture

One of my BFFs listened to what everyone else said and let her mother make most of the decisions for her wedding. She hated the day, had no fun, and can barely remember it. She regrets it terribly especially since she lost her husband 5 years ago. Do it your way.

hereiam's picture

This is why it was me, DH, his sister, my sister, and the minister in our living room.

DH wants to do it again sometime in a church but even if we do, it will be a small affair.

Gabriels Mom's picture

We eloped. The main reason was because my dad was dying and knew he wouldn't make it another year. The secondary reason is because too many people were trying to force us to do what they wanted for our wedding.

DH always promised that we would have a big wedding on our 5th anniversary. I finally told him I don't want it. If my dad isn't walking me down the aisle then I don't want it. We are however going to dress up and take pictures. That's all I really wanted out of the day. So that's what we are going to do this year for our anniversary.

This is the dress:

http://www.whideas.net/red-wedding-dresses/red-wedding-dresses-5/

Instead of red with white appliques it's going to be green with black appliques and black birdcage veil and I found a Victorian style tux for DH.

Bottom line: Do what YOU want. Its your wedding.

Tuff Noogies's picture

we eloped too! then on our 1st anni we had a small ceremony and reception, with only about 20 other people. both were perfect!!!

SharkHugs's picture

Love the dresses! Just do what you want. It’s YOUR wedding. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to come. It is possible to give wedding favors that are useful, however. My sister’s DH proposed over curry… so they gave dry curry spices in cute little metal tins with a recipe for curry chicken attached to the box on a little ribbon. Their theme was board games… so they had different board games set up in little stations for people to sit around and play before and after the wedding and during the reception.

Mine and DH’s wedding was planned over the course of only 3 months…. we were married 5 months after we met. We did it on a tight budget and low maintenance everything. We didn’t have a theme. Had a small picnic after the wedding (outdoors in a state park) of grilled chicken, potato salad, veggies, fruit and our tower of cupcakes (made for us by a friend as a wedding gift). My brother took a bunch of nice pictures with his own digital camera. Then our reception was at a roller rink using their in-house DJ and we only had home-made hors-devourers, a half barrel of beer and the remaining cupcakes. The only decorations were balloons and streamers and we had disposable cameras and bottles of bubbles for blowing and for people to take their own pictures for us to develop later. My dress was also a wedding gift from my folks. It turned out really nice and we got a lot of great pictures.

moeilijk's picture

Find your strength now to be VERY FIRM - polite is optional. This is the first of MANY battles to come unless you lay down the law NOW.

Think of it. You might have a kid. You want this going on not just during pregnancy, during labour, but every day/week/month for YEARS while you raise your kid?

My favourite has become, "Oh, how interesting, thank you!" and then do what I want anyways. Just sell the one you don't want already, use the money towards the one you DO want.

kathc's picture

Practice a smile, nod and subject change.

Do exactly what YOU want. It's YOUR day. And, really # 1 here is they're not paying for it who the hell are they do demand stuff?

Sell the other dress, use what you get toward paying for the one you want. Smile

MamaFox's picture

Just listed the old dress on craigslist. Made sure to ask for cash/cashieers check, and will only meet at a Fire station or Police Station.

MamaFox's picture

Oh I listed it at $700 (it's a $2500 dress) OBO, so it should pay for everything, the new dress, shoes (rhinestone flats =D), and a very pretty freshwater pearl and rhinestone brooch necklace and comb set.