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New and need to RANT!!!

lilhousemaid89's picture

Ok so a little back history... My DH and I have had my SD for about 3 1/2 to 4 yrs now. We got custody of her because her BM moved to another state and took my SD without letting us know... but as if that isn't bad enough she moved in with a registered sex offender.

So now on to the present, I have two DD one is 4 and the other is 3 months. My SD is 8 going on 16 (as far as attitude goes) and she absolutely hates me.

When it is just me and the girls at home she is just fine. super happy go lucky blah blah blah. But as soon as her dad walks thru the door she turns into a 3 year old all over again. I can handle a lot but when it comes to the whining crap i go nuts. She has no respect for anyone and my DH thinks she is just a little halo princess that can do no wrong...

Her BM gets her every other weekend and calls her maybe 2 times in the 2 weeks she doesn't see her. I am guilty of standing at her door and listening because her BM is the worlds worst about lieing to her, (which is my fault too BTW) and the BM will often say " Dont listen to her just do what your dad says"... or even worse " You will be with me soon baby" Ya the f right. who in their right mind would give a woman who picks men over their child custody.

My biggest thing is that if i disengage my SD will tell her BM even more horrid stories but I dont know how must more yelling and hatefullness i can take from an 8 yr old. HELP!!!

SRY i know this is kinda scatter brained next ones i will try to pull them together a little better lol!


GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Here is something I wonder about frequently when it comes to BMs telling their kids not to listen to a stepparent.

I'm not the kid's friend. I'm not Daddy's friend. I'm a parent who lives in this house, and this is MY house. When neighbor kids come over they have to listen to me. When my kids have playdates, those kids have to listen to me.

When my stepkids don't listen to me, they get in trouble. PERIOD. So when SD6 is here, and she acts like a little nightmare, she doesn't get sent back to Mommy's house. She doesn't get on my nerves. She doesn't ruin my day. She doesn't make me regret being with DH. She gets punished. HER day is ruined. She misses a fun activity, or gets to stand in the corner with her nose on the wall, or gets something taken away, or gets saddled with an unpleasant chore. She gets my glaring disapproval. It isn't hurting ME when she misbehaves. It just makes her time here less pleasant for HER. In no way does it result in BM one-upping me. It simply results in the child having a bad time.

TASHA1983's picture

I love this! So true...never really thought of it or looked at it that way. Don't let them ruin YOUR day, just ruin THEIR day. Wink

lilhousemaid89's picture

Very similar to my house. i can spend what ever amount on a gift or prize and no matter ho bought it her dad has say. no chores no responsibilities, I cant even look at her or she says i am being hateful and hey daddy will cave and it causes a huge fight. I would love to ruin her day believe me but i will just have to hear about it from DH when her little mouth opens.

DarkStar's picture

What IS it about women loving sex offenders and choosing them over their kids!!! Seriously, you hear about it more and more, even on Dr Phil!!!