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Does it Ever End? How do you stop the Anger and Resentment

karenemoy's picture

I was hoping that dealing with BM would go away but she is still here - my SS 20 is bi polar and now DH still has to deal with her - she is a nightmare. Lies, manipulates - I want to leave I hate her so much. But I would let my hatred of her overcome the love of DH?

When does it end - can he cut off communicating with her? BM only calls when she wants something - money or for my DH to do something. Same with SS 20 for that matter - only calls when he wants something. Claims my DH abandoned him - what a joke.

Any advise here? I just cant get over the anger of having to deal with her and I totally resent my SS20 because she is still in our lives because he is ill.


Stepmommy22's picture

I totally understand how hard it is to get over the anger and resentment of having to deal with BM and misinformed SS. I feel like I am at the end of rope here as well, and I also refuse to let it overcome the love I have for DH. I wish I had some amazing advice, but all I can say is that she can't touch that love and believe me it will drive her crazy. You and DH have that part of your relationship all to yourselves. I tell myself that over and over and every now and then it helps.

Dory's picture

My DH cut off all contact with BM 12 years ago - and hasn't looked back. She was involved in PAS and all the usual BM antics. The last time she contacted him was about 3 years ago, I think, inviting him to go out for a cup of coffee - but - asked him not to tell anyone about that invitation!!!!! Skids here are in their 20's - no need for contact with BM. Maybe if your DH and BM need to discuss issues relating to your SS's condition/medication, then contact might be necessary, but life is so much more peaceful without BM. However, skids now run the rest of the distance with BM's torch in any case, so you never really get "peace".