How do you do? I'm Jenstep.
I'm a frequent lurker and infrequent contributor and wanted to say hi and give some info about my situation. My husband and I have been together for the last 8 1/2 years and we have had full custody of his 2 sons for the last several years. Their mom gets supervised visitation that she occasionally takes advantage of. She has had drug addiction issues as well as mental health concerns and bounces from one boyfriend to another - last boyfriend was a drug dealer (according to her), current boyfriend currently has several criminal charges pending against him. She hasn't worked for over 5 years even though she is perfectly capable. We have asked for no CS and she has not given us a penny in all this time. My husband has been a stay at home dad to our DD5 all these years. I wonder if she thinks about who is paying for her children's school supplies? Our lawyer (who is great BTW) recommends we try for CS based on her imputed income since she refuses to work. Has anyone ever had any success with this?
My DH is sweet and loving (but not totally a push-over) and I'm the total shrew. I do most of the disciplining which hasn't been too much of a problem b/c "my house, my rules." And for the most part he and I work together well as a team. (It doesn't hurt that he's a younger man who's quite a looker and loves to give massages )
I dread the day my skids get old enough to start having a say in the decision-making processes b/c I know they will be dying to get out of our structured, disciplined house ASAP. Their mom thinks school is a waste of time (HS dropout)and she's living proof that you never have to work a day in your life. My SS(13) is a typical teenager, 'nuff said. My SS(10) has moments of sweetness and moments of...not. My DD(5) is the most perfect child ever created (HA!).
I am so grateful for this site b/c I have never even met anyone who's got the kind of crazy BM experiences I've had. I thought my family was some kind of anomaly. After lurking here for several weeks I know I'm not alone. In fact, many of you are dealing with situations much uglier than ours and that makes me feel so much better - so THANK YOU for having such horrible experiences!
May I share one of my favorite BM stories? Many years ago when my husband and I were foolish and naive we allowed her to take the boys camping. She had recently gotten out of jail for a drug offense and really seemed to be turning her life around. After arriving at the campground she left the boys with a "friend" and went off for a "job interview." When she hadn't come back 24 hours later the friend contacted us and we got the boys back. This is the same woman who one year later criticized my parenting b/c when the boys would interrupt an adult I would put my hand up and tell them they had to wait til the adult was finished talking. Cheeky BM.