BM3 has an XH prior to DH. Her XH "NavyMan" left her when their son was a baby, before he was a year old. He was in the Navy. He is remarried, and he has full custody of their son, now 13. He lives in Arizona. She lives here in Alaska not too far from where we live. Her XH has repeatedly denied her visitation based on her failure to abide by the parenting plan that they agreed on together.

BM and DH share 50/50 custody of SD6. We go week on, week off, Friday to Friday. SD6 is the only child that doesn't live here full time. She's been in daycare since she was 6 weeks old and has a lot of problems.

Up til now, I have cared for SD6 during DH's weeks, and I have also had SD6 during the day during BM3's weeks while she worked (at a daycare). We had a recent IEP meeting where we came up with a plan to help SD6 catch up over the summer. BM3 even provided some of the materials to help me get started with her. This morning SD6 should have showed up at 9 for the day. At 11, I texted DH and asked where SD6 was. He texted BM3 and found out that she enrolled SD6 in daycare for her weeks without even discussing it with DH or letting me know that she wouldn't be here.

I told DH that I'm done fostering a coparenting relationship and worrying about SD6. I am no longer available to deal with her or with BM3 at all. I hope this is what she wanted, because she got it. She can deal with DH from now on. I will not do pick ups. I will not do drop offs. I also told him to do it elsewhere and to make it CRYSTAL clear to her that she is no longer welcome to be here, so don't stop by. Up til now we have had a very friendly coparenting relationship and have also been friends. No more. She knows how I feel about daycare, and SD6's counselor even said that daycare reinforces a lot of her problem "squeaky wheel" behaviors. It's obviously more important to BM3 to one up me than to do the right thing for her child. Okay. Sad, but not my kid, and not my problem.

The thing is...now, knowing that SD6 will be spending the majority of her time in daycare on her mom's time, I don't really want her here on her dad's time unless he's home and will supervise her. He is off on weekends. I work from home. He works from 8-5:30 every day. It's not that I don't want her here during the day. I really don't want her around my kids AT ALL. She's a bully, and when she's in daycare, she's worse. She had come a long way, but recent changes in BM's life have largely eroded all that.

I'm gonna hazard a guess here and figure that we'll be meeting a new boyfriend real soon.