You are here

Financially Stable, Mentally Unstable

Fading's picture

MY last blog went over so well...smh. I don't really care at this point. DH found a job. And so we are actually more well off now than before with his last job. But alas, not every aspect of this so-called life could be even remotely decent.
I'm done with SD7. I've had it. I don't want her in my house or near me or my fur or feather babies anymore. I'm done playing nicey nice and done playing the mean ole stepmom. We all have been trying with her and none of our attempts have worked. The therapist we had her seeing now refuses to see her and we've found a new one. (SD7 threw a decorative piece in the therapists office AT the therapist and hurt her pretty bad).
In the last MONTH, SD7 has:
-pushed her brother down the stairs, resulting in a concussion.
-bit me, drawing a lot of blood and leaving a likely scar.
-broke her Gma's dog's leg.
-slammed the fridge door on BM (this was after BM's back surgery in April), causing BM's discs to swell and she had to go in for a second surgery. (BM was trying to get SD7 juice and SD7 wanted soda).
-kicked DH in the 'goods' TWICE when he told her no sweets after 5PM.
-peed on BM's clothes.
-pulled a large fistful of hair out of my head, scratched, kicked and bit me (again drawing blood). She was ticked because I told her she wasn't allowed to go play with her friends because we were eating supper soon.
-threatened to kill my new puppy because 'she hates me and likes when i cry' (DH got me a chihuahua puppy as a surprise when he got his job).
-Caught her choking my pug
-Tried to let my tame parakeets outside (which would result in their death)
-Pushed her grandmother down in the driveway (she is a very dainty old woman and very sickly) and her grandmother ended up with two badly swollen knees and a broken wrist.

These are just a FEW of the things she's done. Her new therapist believes SD7 is showing sociopathic tendencies and has said SD7 doesn't show much if any remorse when she tells him about the 'bad stuff' she's done. She laughed the entire time I was trying to clean the bite wounds! I am afraid for DH, myself, my beloved fur and feather babies, her Gma, BM, SF, and BM's son.
I don't know how to tell DH that I don't want her in my house any more. BM is so scared that her son sleeps with them now. BM and I have discussed sending SD7 to an institution where she can't hurt anyone, but that seems horrible, although it might be the only way some of us are going to remain healthy in SD's presence.
It has slowly come to this. I don't want to ban SD from my house, because DH still loves his daughter and I respect and understand that. I cannot even LIKE this child right now. I am actually afraid of her. I am afraid of a 7 year old. I am more afraid for my animals than myself. They cannot help the situation I sadly have brought them into but I will protect them with every ounce of my being.
Today, DH is getting SD before I get off work. I have reiterated again and again not to leave her alone with the animals. I know it hurts him for me to say this, but if he can't help me protect them while still allowing his daughter to visit, then there is either A) she doesn't visit anymore or Dirol I leave with the animals.

I just don't know what to do. SD scares me, I can't say I hate her but I strongly dislike her at this point in time. I don't want to lose my husband, but I don't want my fur & feather babies to suffer her wrath.


DaizyDuke's picture

I can't say I hate her

Wow! HOW???? Good Lord, woman, I hate her!

I remember years ago, I had to work with a little boy who was 5 or 6 at the time. He had been suspended from school for his terrible behavior. The tutor that was assigned to work with him, called me in tears because after one of their sessions, he tried to run out of the building, she obviously went after him at which point he picked up a big stick and attacked her with it, broke her glasses, cut her face etc. His own mother was terrified of him and had a baby on the way. She BEGGED CPS to send him away. They did and I know he bounced around to a bunch of different foster homes, residential facilities etc but I honestly don't know what ever became of him, I can't imagine it was anything good.

I truly think that some kids are just born bad and no amount of counseling, therapy, love, is going to change that.

hereiam's picture

Sociopath tendencies for sure. So sad really, but this is not something that you, your DH, and BM can take care of on your own.

Research, research, research before you send her off, if that's what you end up doing. Some of those institutions make things worse or don't even address the problem at all, they just drug the patients.

I am so sad for all of you.

Fading's picture

DH is at a loss. He doesn't want to send her away but he knows it's dangerous to have her out and about. She has hurt kids at school too (had to change schools half-way through 1st grade because she would purposely hurt the other kids and then laugh). We've done a lot of research on institutions and there is one close by with a children's ward. My aunt and cousin work there. I've known a few people housed there. I don't hate her because I know she didn't chose to be this way but I just cannot like her because I am so angry with what she does. Her mom is more than willing to sign her over to the institution right here, right now. SD7's cousin (DH's brothers 20 yr old son) was diagnosed as a sociopath at age 10. He was never institutionalized and has now been in and out of jail/prison/juvie 8 times. (Maybe it's genetic?)

SD7's issues started pretty much when she learned to talk and walk. She would hit us with things and laugh. Then she started hitting harder and doing worse things and lying. Oh my, the lying is HORRIBLE. Example: We were at BM's for a meeting (we meet at least once a month to discuss SD and punishments, behaviors, goings on, etc.) and she was sitting on the couch in the living room, her brother was trying to get on the couch as well and she kicked him straight in the face (he ended up with a bloody lip and nose). We ALL saw it happen and yet when DH said "SD! What the heck was that for?" SD7 just said "I didn't do anything, he fell."

It's just too much! I hate to say it, but my fur & feather babies are much more important to me right now than she is. But I still feel horrible sending her away. I don't know if I feel bad because it's DH's daughter and he'll be hurt or if I feel bad for the staff that will have to deal with her.

hereiam's picture

Don't feel bad for doing what needs to be done. She needs the help and in the long run, it is for HER. These are the people that end up being serial killers. Even females.

It is not anybody's fault that she is like this, not even hers. But, if nobody gets her help....