Finally a site where I don't feel totally alone
I am so glad to find this site. I'm a stepmom and I don't like my skids.
SD is preteen, SS is going into kindergarten this fall. And BM (which makes me chuckle because I'm a nurse and wow, is she ever a REAL 'BM') is absolutely bat poop crazy.
See there are no rules at BM's house. It's free range eat, sleep & do what you want all day, every day. No bed times, etc. So when DH picks them up for his weekends, they have often just woken up for the day when he gets off of work. Then, we have ape s*** crazy children screaming, yelling & ranting & raving because they're tired or don't want to go to bed, or get up in the morning.
It's just SO ridiculous! So, I have disengaged. I am happily hiding out in my bedroom as we speak and DH is coming in the door now with the skids. And here I shall stay for most of the weekend.
Is it Monday yet? No, really! Man, I can't wait for every other Monday.
Soon I will have to share with you some of the insano in the membrano stories I have of the skids & BM. It's a real hoot. :sick:
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Comments
That sucks when BMs Schudule
That sucks when BMs Schudule is completely different than yours. Ive been through that. hated it. And the kids are fucking off the walls.
That sucks when BMs Schudule
That sucks when BMs Schudule is completely different than yours. Ive been through that. hated it. And the kids are fucking off the walls.
Wow that sucks. Welcome! My
Wow that sucks. Welcome!
My SO was the EOW disney dad with no rules, so I imagine BM used to get fed up getting skids back on schedule.
Oh, BM doesn't have an
Oh, BM doesn't have an opposite schedule, she doesn't have one at all. She doesn't work. And she expects DH & I to support her (which we DO NOT, though that took time to change, he used to give her money all the time when we were first dating. It took time, but I kept pointing out how odd that was.)
So, BM would rather stay up all night, party it up, drink, etc, leaving the kids with her mom, so the kids have picked up on that. Really, BM doesn't have much to do with them, her mom is the one "raising" them.
They're actually pleasant tonight. It's been months since they came over & were in a good mood. Not sure what's up with that, but when they are like this I can deal with them so much more. But sadly, these types of days/weekends are few & far between.
Thing is, as a skid myself, I do try to think of things from the kids' point of view because I remember what it's like to go through this stuff. I also know it's not their fault... but we have rules in our house, and that can make it pretty ugly most of the time.
But yeah, most of the times I find myself wanting to pull my hair out on the skid weekends, which are usually every weekend. That actually changed because I am honest with DH about how I feel about the skids & his ex. And I asked him to consider every other weekend so he & I have some time together. We don't see each other much through the week due to working opposite schedules. I honestly didn't think he'd be up to doing it, but he did. It's really a good thing for my sanity & helps me better deal with the kids when they're here.
there is a very very loose
there is a very very loose custody order in place.
Wow, I totally do not feel
Wow, I totally do not feel alone now...I too go hide out in the bedroom when the kids overwhelm me. But this is because I am used to being alone...I lived alone for 6 years prior..with no roomies..and before that I was with my parents and siblings but my mother said I was born independent (even though I have a twin brother) I wanted nothing to do with him as a baby. LOL
Back to going into the room......I understand as parents we can not always escape away when we want to but I have talked to my boyfriend about if it upsets him that I am in the bedroom sometimes and he said no he understood I am still getting used to the kids and since he has been a parent for 10+ years (he used to do foster care prior to first daughters birth)-- he can handle the kids much easier than I can. Now, if I have them one on one or just the 2 girls..I am fine..the SS is the usual terror..but he CAN be a good boy too.
Usually I retreat to my room when I am feeling overwhelemed..like I may say something mean to him or a step kid..or when they are watching a movie that I am not interested in..I will go to the room and read a book or get online. I love my step kids..but..this is all a work in progress!
I bite my tongue with the
I bite my tongue with the kids I'm tired... tired. This weekend has been bad with the tantrums, etc. I want to retreat to my room but this is my home. Why should I have to hide?