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Home from the Holidays

emilymarie's picture

My SD9 is back with us fulltime after visitation with BM for a week. It's so weird and awkward bc she got home last night and barely said boo to me. She always waits for me to say hello before she talks to me. Depending on my mood, I might not say hello first for a couple of hours. DH senses this and tries to make jokes and break the tension. SD won't be seeing mom until spring break in late April. Why is it that every time she comes home whether it be from school or a friend's house or if her and DH went somewhere together, it's like we start all over again in our relationship? It can take up to an entire evening before she will speak to me or even acknowledge me. And forget about the 3 month old. She finally said after 2 hours of being home last night "Oh sissy, there you are." DUH! Why can't I just be comfortable and at ease in my own house? I should feel comforted by being home and it should be my escape from the world right?? Well it's not...it's a constant wondering what kind of mood she's going to be in next...

Comments

kay's picture

Talk to her about it! Take a car ride. That is the best time to talk. Tell her your feelings, that you love her, miss her when she is gone and look forward to coming home. Tell her it hurts that after all that you feel ignored. Either that or get a new house rule. "All must hug everyone upon returning from the outside world."

mom2five's picture

My stepson sort of does that emilymarie. He just spent four days with his mother. He walked in the door and didn't say one word to me. And he and I have a pretty good relationship. My stepdaughter doesn't do that nor do my bios. Only him.

He told me he just "wasn't a touchy feely huggy type of person". I grabbed him and gave him the biggest hug I could and told him that I missed him every single moment of every single day he was gone.

I think being with his mother and her parents is hard for him. He is the one who made the decision to move in with us. And honesty, it broke his mother's heart. She fought like hell to keep it from happening. And her parent footed the attorney bill. His grandmother told him that he had "destroyed the family". My stepdaughter chose to move in with us shortly after he did. But she could care less what her mother thinks.

It always takes a few days for everyone to fall back into place again. But it's always so nice to have everyone home.