Postcards from the edge

Yesterday, I got a package from my MIL, my B-day is next week. So she sent me a really nice gift and card...(we have a great relationship) anyway, there were 2 cards from skids in the box. They must have gotten them w/ her last month when they saw her. One one hand it was nice that they did that, but on the other, I hope they did it because they wanted to on their own, not because my MIL made them, or asked them to. I know that they can't just do it when they are at home w/ BM.....god forbid!! But I don't want them to feel that they have to either. I have not called my MIL, yet,to thank her, but I will, and I'm thinking of asking her if it was their idea to get the cards. The cards were very cute, I love them. It's the only way I hear from them now, I understand the position that they are in at home. The only thing I can say now, is DH better get a father's day card from them...one way or the other, cause my MIL will not visit w/ them now until July.

Chel Bell's blog
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if your skids are over the age of 10

they should be remembering your birthday on their own (with a little reminder from an adult wouldn't hurt) and they should be the one picking out and SIGNING the cards. if not, it's rude and thoughtless on their part. my skid never gets me anything and if he does, it's not really from him. his g'ma picks it up, signs his name and gives it to me. it goes straight into the garbage. sorry if that sounds awful, but it's not REALLY from him is it? so i don't want it. it's a 'throw in' to make up for the fact that no one expects this kid to think for himself. and why? well, his life is so hard b/c his parents are divorced. how could anyone expect anything from him when he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders and busy playing his XBox, Wii and playstation? gag.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

Sometimes

People do things the first time for the wrong reason, but when they get positive feedback, they begin to do those things for the right reason. It's also being published that if you want to change someone else's behavior, you stick to these 2 rules: (1) don't engage negative behavior & (2) reinforce positive behavior. I'm afraid that if you ask the question whether they wanted to send the cards or not, it would discourage them from ever doing so again. But if you tell your MIL that you really appreciated the beautiful cards the kids sent you, they might be encouraged to do it again.

Then again, I could be completely wrong about it... you know these kids better than I do. I believe you deserve to be treated well by these kids & I hope they improve.

Anyway, happy birthday & I hope you enjoy it!

Cajun Lady
"Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez"

re:

My skids are ages-14 & 16, so yes, they no better to do those type of things......but I also know that they are "scared" to do anything like this in fear of pissing off BM. My SS is better w/ communication then SD, just because she really is a blank page when it comes to stuff like that, I don't know, just the way she was/is raised. My SS had written us a letter a few months back, spilling his heart out, and it took me by surprise. He misses us, but he goes back and forth alot with his "real" feelings, and the feelings that BM wants him to have......so it's a crap-shoot on how he feels day to day. They did sign the cards themselves, and I'm sure they picked them out, so yes, I guess I should not question it so much. I just don't want MIL to feel like she has to push them. I'll just thank her for the cards and gift, and if she says anything about the kids, then let it be what it is. But like I said before....they better remember their Dad.~"I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog too!"~