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Should I or Should I not?

cantmissamy's picture

I want to call child protective on dbm, she is yet again letting strange men come around ss and her bio, without care of their background. She has once again put the "man in her life, or "the flavor of the month" come before ss.. She has let down ss once again by saying that she will take him this weekend, but only to come back with it is only for tonight only as "flavor of the month comes first."I know what I have said in the past about not careing about what dh does, but I am sorry for that... I do care, and by all means I am not going to step away from my ss whom means so much to me, and whom I consider my own here. I know we all can blog and say things in anger, Yes I am guilty of that as charged.. Sentence me to Step-mom jail and I will gladly serve my sentence as long as I come out with not only a ss and bio son who says at gradutation, Thank you mommie for being there...
So what should I do here?
Please, I ask not for anger but understanding and someone who will give me an honest answer without being mean.

Comments

smnikki's picture

yeah, but she has no proof of anything. the judge will be angry at her for wasting every ones time and see it as her trying to pull rank with bm, just because she doesnt agree with bm's living style.

our bm does this with her bf now..she takes ss to her friends house on her weekends so she can spen time with her bf....not your kid, not your custodial time, not your problem or decision....if you press the issue it will look very bad on you and could kick you in the ass

Anon2009's picture

I agree with stilltrying. Call them and give them any documentation/dirt you have on BM.

smnikki's picture

welllllllll, you can call but they wont do anything, in fact they will most likely laugh at you...even when my ss4 told the day care lady that bm's bf was hitting him with a belt, and the day care lady, not us mind you, called cps and reported, they did nothing........just as bm has no control of who our dh's bring in to the childs life, you dont have any control either, even if they are dead beats! you would have to prove that she or him is doing PHYSICAL danger or harm to the child...and you would need pictures...otherwise this is a matter you would need to go to court for, then a judge can decide on the bm's behavior and how it effects the child...which most likely will be a waste of your time

the bottom line to me is....yes you love the child, but its not your child. let dh handle it, if he wants to call so be it, let him waste his energy. skid will get old enough to see bm for what she is, and until you have solid proof of physical abuse you will go no where with the system

Gestalt's picture

How in the world do you know what mom knows about this guy's background?

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

smnikki's picture

good point

i understand that the bm in this case may have a track record with losers....but look at it from my perspective.

my dh dated bm who was a loser, slut piece of shit...why would she think that the next woman he met would be better than her?

dh met me one night when i was randomly across town at a bar with girlfriends, drunk off my ass. it was the most dirty dive bar! i met dh and we were making out shortly after saying hello and taking a shot! i sure did look like a loser and a slut, especially when i stayed the night at his house that night! BUT guess what....im a stable, hard working, honest, farthest thing from a loser there is!

Colorado Girl's picture

I don't know your history..

But there is no law against bringing kids around lots of boyfriends... and not doing background checks.

It's her kiddo. She gets to decide. Unless there is a greater crime like the guy is a registered sex offender.

It sucks. Yes. Do you have any control over it? Nope.

My skids' mom has had numerous boyfriends in the last four years,
three she's lived with. Most were losers and lasted longer, the good ones were gone quickly probably at the first sign of her neurosis.

It sucks, but it's my reality... and I accept that I can't change it.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley