How do you deal with an ex that doesn't want to deal with you?
I have to biological girls, ages 5 and 10, and i have two stepsons ages 6 and 10. I have been married to my husband for 3 years and have yet to have an encounter with his ex-wife. We've (my husband and I) have had many battles together over situations that have come up but never anything directly with her. Is this the typical situation to have an ex completely avoid me?? I don't even go with my husband to drop his children off when they go home. His ex says she doesn't want me there or doesn't want to speak to me...and thats the way its been. I think the first year we were married, my step son was in flag football and I was banned by her from attending any games. My husband didn't want her to go yank him out of the game just becuase I showed up, so i let it go, but now its harder and harder to let her go by without really seeing me. It's as if she feels she doesn't see me or talk to me I don't exist. What advice can you give me about my situation? My stepsons don't consider my their stepmother and they don't consider my daughter's their stepsisters either. Thats not something I can force on them or my husband. All of this is becuase of her but if you can offer any advice, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.
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Talk to your husband
Why does he allow her to dictate what happens in your home? You are part of the picture and part of your SKs lives. I wouldn't want to go to the pick up/drop off of the kids, anyway but as far as the rest of it- he needs to make sure that you're not treated like an outsider. Otherwise, he shouldn't have gotten remarried. Her right to dictate what happened in his life stopped when they divorced. So, unless the kids are being harmed in some way, she doesn't have the right and he should be sticking up for you. Just my opinion.
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no comment
Its going to take
Its going to take your husband speaking up for you, thats a definite!! As long as your husband allows her to treat you this way, then she will. Granted, he cant control her behavior, but he can put an effort to show her that her immaturity wont be tolerated. As far as extra-curricular activities, they are always held in public places, and its your right to go to public places. If she actually removes the child from a game, then she just shows everyone that she doesnt care about her child. Thats probably just an empty threat!! My husband has spoken up for me since day 1. My husbands ex didnt like it, and tried to refuse visitation to him at the beginning of our marriage, but when she saw that she couldn't dictate what i could and couldn't do, then she finally gave up. It was a long road, and took about 2 yrs, but he stood his ground. It also helps when the chidren get older, and they can start voiceing their opinions. Just keep treating your Step-kids, like a great mother would, and everthing will eventually fall into place. Good luch hun
I think that you should...
I feel like you he took vows with you... Do those mean anything to him. I am not trying to rag on your hubby. But if he wanted to cater to every word they should still be together.. He chose you and your children. You may not be able to force anything on him or his children but you all 3 still deserve respect. And if the bio mom loves her kids she will let her son play football regardless if you are there or not.. Its about the kids not her.. Are you the reason they are not together? just curious.. Cuz that could be why she feels that way..
I will be here for you..
I agree w/Allyceson's reply.
I agree w/Allyceson's reply. That's up to you and your husband whether you are at events or not, not the ex wife, its your life not hers. She needs to get use to seeing you in the picture, that's her problem if she can't handle it!
-happy mom